Notices by Pastor of Muppets (middleclasstool@phire.place)

@skinnylatte this is the hard thing for me about being a vegetarian. When we travel, I try to locate vegetarian-friendly restaurants.

By this, I mean that they have ONE entree item that doesn't contain any animal parts. I would prefer it not to be a phoned-in pasta or salad, but whatever. Just one thing I can eat that sounds good.

The results are always like "nestled in the back of a yoga studio, they offer a variety of hummus platters and cold-pressed juices" c'mon, y'all

Officially got the word today. My employer is shitcanning all remote employees if we don't agree to set our lives on fire and move. And in the middle of a historically bad tech job market. I've sent out a ton of resumes and gotten nothing, like everyone else. If anyone needs a senior software engineer (backend primarily) who's really good at their job, hit me up. #GetFediHired

At chanting tonight, someone raised a concern: an immigrant family they know, here legally, struggling financially. The father is in kidney failure. Needs dialysis from someone who's willing to do it pro bono. It's a terrible situation.

"Do they have a GoFundMe for covering the costs?"

"No, that's too public."

"Oh, you mean—"

"Yes."

First time in a meditation group I was seized by an urge to give several million people a goddamn slap.

Took daughter out to practice driving.

"How long do you need to practice for?"

"About an hour. Where should we go?"

"Well. The Andy's frozen custard in Conway is almost exactly an hour round trip."

She didn't need arm twisting on this one.

Superman reviewers: It's a lot of fun

Me: Yay!

Reviewers: But it's also goofy.

Me: Yay!

Our son starts college this fall. He got a decent pile of scholarships from different sources, most from the school.

They just sent an estimated cost breakdown for everything, tuition plus living expenses.

It's $32,000 a year.

In-state school, one of the cheapest states to live in.

Thirty-two. Thousand.

Goddamn dollars.

Per year.

@Gustodon @RamenCatholic when heck is full, the danged shall walk the earth

@RamenCatholic the jeweler who waited on them put a pad down on the showcase, said "uh, sure, put the string on that", and would only handle it with tweezers. Which she soaked in alcohol afterward. We gave her so much shit about "custom boner bling". She made a great pud cuff, though. She was real good at her job.

@RamenCatholic I worked in jewelry for ten years and I can't tell you how often I had someone bring in dental gold, sometimes with the tooth attached. Some people bring in nasty stuff, like watches that "need a battery" and when you pull the back off, the inside of the case smells like a bait shop.

Favorite was the couple that came in to get a gold band made, they weren't sure what the ring size, but they brought a knotted loop of string that was *way too big for a finger* for size reference.

I have started doing basic core and arm strengthening stuff to put the final nail in my recovery from my surgery last spring. Y'all, I am weak as hell. Just sticking with a program when I can do so dispiritingly little is going to be a challenge. This is gonna be a long road.

Our neighbors that like to throw loud pool parties after ten pm have hired a roofing company that started work at 5:30 this morning, because this simulation was written by O. Henry

Newspapers: if your headlines tomorrow don't say "tanks for nothing" then you are all cowards

Martina at Nerdforge, the patron saint of unhinged bookbinding projects, rebound all 40 Discworld books as one giant 14,000 page book that's a giant fantasy-themed Rolodex you turn with a hand crank. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAdnN0TDZ5w

I need a dog version of this doormat

@jacklaridian I have never heard one like that, to be sure. I'm glad they gave you the space to be you.

@jacklaridian I've no doubt that that's true, and I'm sorry if I came off as implying that atheists are starving, I only meant it as an example of an all-or nothing paradigm, peppered with some yuk yuk hyperbole.

I respect any earnestly held worldview, and I have a lot of respect for atheists, not least because of the shit y'all take from the right. I've just had a few friends that lost the faith and felt heartbreak that they also had to lose a spiritual lifestyle, and it kills me.

Friends and enemies, I would like to show you the best blue screen of death I've ever seen. I pulled over with two hyperactive dogs in the car just to take the picture.

I just saw someone describe a dungeon master as a "service top" and I'm not gonna shake that one for a while

@RamenCatholic Duck Duck...what

It's puff, puff, give, Italy. You're fucking up the rotation.