Notices by LRRR :bc: (lrrronearth@beige.party), page 4

I CAN NEVER TELL WHICH TOOTS ARE GONNA BLOW UP. I WOKE UP TO 500+ LIKES.

I PLAYED DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS FOR THE FIRST TIME TONIGHT. I TRIED TO KILL A TREE. THE TREE WON. IT WAS NICE.

I DON'T PLAY VIDEO GAMES MUCH ANYMORE, BUT I LOVED AN OLD PS1 GAME CALLED XENOGEARS. IT WAS A BLAST. IS IT ENTIRELY ABANDONWARE NOW? CAN I PLAY IT AGAIN WITHOUT COMMITTING A CRIME?

SUCK-ASS PLANET WITH ITS SUCK-ASS WEATHER AND SUCK-ASS INHABITANTS.

I SPENT THE WHOLE SUMMER SMUGLY WEARING A LIGHT JACKET WHILE THE REST OF AMERICA SCORCHED UNDER A HATEFUL SUN, BUT NOW I AM BURIED UNDER THREE FEET OF SNOW.

I AM MIRED IN AN OHIO OF THE SOUL.

IN OTHER WORDS, I'M WATCHING A CHILD WHO I AM NOT ALLOWED TO INGEST OR DISMEMBER. PRAY FOR LRRR.

BUT I *LIKE* WINNING STUPID PRIZES!

@GgDionne THE GORE WORM IS THE CORNERSTONE OF ANY SERIOUS HOME SECURITY PLAN.

WHEN ERIC CARLE'S COPYRIGHT RUNS OUT, WE ARE GOING TO SEE SOME WILD SHIT:

I USED TO FEEL BAD WHENEVER I LOST A FOLLOWER, BUT NOW I JUST ASSUME THAT THEY GOT DEPLATFORMED FOR SPOUTING GENOCIDAL NONSENSE OR GOT SHOT BY THE F.B.I.

I AM, OF COURSE, KIDDING. I KNOW I'M A CONCEPTUAL SHITSHOW AND A *LOT.* BUT I LIKE BEING PART OF A COMMUNITY WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE STRENGTH OF CHARACTER AND TOLERANCE FOR NUT-LOG DIPSHIT RAVINGS TO HANG WITH ME.

YOU DIRTLINGS ARE LUCKY THAT INTERPLANETARY CONQUEST IS A ZERO INTEREST-RATE PHENOMENON.

AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, I WILL WHOOP THE DOGSHIT OUT OF A CANADA GOOSE OR DIE TRYING. #LRRR2024 #USA #IMWithLRRR

IF YOU BEAT A CANADA GOOSE IN OPEN COMBAT, YOU BECOME KING OF CANADA.

DUE TO THE SHEER VOLUME OF SMUG, CYNICAL, SELF-CONGRATULATORY YET STILL SOMEHOW HOPELESS AND NIHILISTIC COMMENTS HERE, LET ME SAY THIS IN A LANGUAGE YOU GORMLESS DOOMERS CAN UNDERSTAND:

1. PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY GOOD.
2. PEOPLE ARE BASICALLY LAZY.
3. A SMALL NUMBER OF EVIL BUT INDUSTRIOUS OPPORTUNISTS HAVE SEIZED CONTROL OF THE MECHANISMS THAT DISTRIBUTE WEALTH, POWER, AND INFORMATION IN SOCIETY. REPUBLICANS, THE OIL INDUSTRY, EVANGELICALS, SOCIAL MEDIAITES, BILLIONAIRES, ETC.
4. THESE EVIL PEOPLE ARE KILLING THE PLANET.
5. THE EVIL PEOPLE CAN BE STOPPED.
6. THE EVIL PEOPLE SHOULD BE STOPPED.
7. THE PLANET CAN BE SAVED.
8. THE PLANET SHOULD BE SAVED.
9. HUMANS DO NOT DESERVE TO ALL DIE. NOT UNTIL MY BOYS GET HERE, THEY DON'T.
10. BECAUSE YOU CANNOT SAVE JUST SOME OF EARTH, THE PEOPLE WHO YOU AGREE WITH AND LIKE DESERVE TO HAVE A PLANET WORTH LIVING ON *EVEN IF THAT MEANS THAT BAD PEOPLE GET TO LIVE HERE, TOO*.

I REJECT THE FATALISTIC NOTION THAT WE DESERVE OUR SHITTY SITUATION. OUR SHITTY SITUATION HAS BEEN FOISTED ON US BY DEATH CULTISTS AND WAR PROFITEERS AND SUSTAINED BY INERTIA AND STRONG NORMS AGAINST DISMEMBERING THE RICH AND BOILING THEIR BONES INTO STOCK. WE DON'T ALL DESERVE TO DIE. IT IS LITERALLY WITHIN OUR POWER TO MAKE THINGS BETTER. IF YOU THINK WE DON'T DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS, WHAT'S THE POINT IN BEING ALIVE?

@PamW I PROMISE THAT THE CONQUEST AND SUBJUGATION OF EARTH WILL FEATURE ALL THE INTERSECTIONAL RICHNESS OMICRON PERSEI 8 HAS TO OFFER.

@Gustodon I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT THIS TOOT WOULD BE DOOMER CATNIP.

@sibrosan OH MY GOD. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT.

WE DESERVE A SOCIETY THAT CAN RESPOND TO CLIMATE CHANGE.

I WILL ALWAYS LOOK BACK FONDLY ON THE TIME I SAW A SHITHAMMERED FOLK-PUNK BARFING HIS GUTS OUT AT A PORTLAND HOUSE PARTY AND CLAWING HIS WAY TOWARD THE BATHROOM, REFUSING ALL EFFORTS TO HELP HIM NOT VOMIT ON EVERYTHING WHILE SHOUTING "I'M TOTALLY D.I.Y.!"