Notices by BELRRR LRRRGOSI :bc: (lrrronearth@beige.party), page 4

GOOD TIMES DON'T MAKE SOFT MEN. BRAISING DOES.

ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE COUNTRY BEAR JAMBOREES; HE JAMBOREES FOR THEE.

THIS SEVENTH OF JULY, LET US ALL SET ASIDE OUR DIFFERENCES TO WORSHIP THE FLOATING ORB I FOUND IN THE WOODS.

WHERE DO I FILE CAMPAIGN PAPERWORK TO RUN FOR MAYOR OF FLAVORTOWN? I HAVE CHANGES TO MAKE.

@Gorfram

CAN YOU AFFORD TO BLOW UP A PLANET? THAT'S KINDA THE STARTING OFFER.

PEOPLE ASK ME, "LRRR, WHY DON'T YOU MAKE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE?" AND THE ANSWER IS ARTISTIC INTEGRITY. I ONLY TAKE ON THE PROJECTS THAT ADVANCE MY CRAFT. OR PAY A SHITLOAD OF MONEY. OR FEED ME AT MINIMAL INCONVENIENCE.

I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO TURN A CERTAIN SOUTH AFRICAN BABY DADDY INTO A VENTRILOQUIST'S DUMMY. BUT THAT MIGHT DEPRIVE THE UNIVERSE OF HIS POETIC DEATH AT THE HANDS OF ONE OF HIS OWN SHODDY VEHICLES. I SERVE A HIGHER MASTER (MY OWN AMUSEMENT) THAN YOUR PROVINCIAL ALPHA QUADRANT NOTIONS OF GOOD AND EVIL.

CALLING IT A "SYNDROME" MAKES IT SOUND LIKE YOU DISAPPROVE OF ME BEING THE MAIN CHARACTER.

GOD DAMN, I FEEL SO ALIVE AGAIN. DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND YOU'LL NEVER WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE.

#CONQUEST #DOOM #FIRELANDS

I WAS BORN TO BUILD SKULL PYRAMIDS AND BATHE IN BLOOD.

SHERWIN WILLIAMS FUCKING GETS IT:

IF THEIR JINGLE DOESN'T START WITH A PINCH HARMONIC, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

SOMETIMES @HG JUST COMES INTO MY SPACE, PLOPS DOWN ON THE COUCH, AND STARTS COMPLAINING TO ME LIKE HE'S SOME KIND OF SHOE SALESMAN. WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A TALKING DOG?

REUSE THIS ONE OVER AND OVER UNTIL WE ALL DIE:

DID THE FEDIVERSE CHICK DIE?

SHOUTING "PREEMPTIVE STRIKE" WHENEVER I EAT SOMEONE.

EVERY YEAR, I GO ALL GEORGE MICHAEL AND OFFER TO BE THE FATHER FIGURE FOR EVERYONE ON THE FEDIVERSE. THIS YEAR IS NO DIFFERENT. IF YOU WANT A DIFFERENT, BETTER DAD TO CELEBRATE THIS WEEKEND, I AM RIGHT HERE FOR YOU, SLUGGER.

I'M NOT KIDDING. I WILL BE THE INTERNET DAD YOU DESERVE.

IT'S GREAT. I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING.

I ONLY SUPPORT NON-VIOLENT COPS.

I MAY BE THE ONLY ALIEN WHO OPENLY WISHES FIERY DOOM ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, BUT I ESPECIALLY WISH DOOM ON THE CRAYON-EATING GOONS SHREDDING YOUR CONSTITUTION. THEY'RE SO TACKY.