Notices by Dr. Everything’ll be Alright (tayfonay@beige.party)

If only we got paid for every one-time passcode texted or sent to us via email

Normalize asking “will there be any MAGA types there?” when responding to a party invite.

They don’t tell you this on the travel shows, but Norway is known for its beautiful #gravy waterfalls

Come, sit a spell by the fire my friends. I have a story to share.

My 83 year-old republican mother seems to have run into a problem proving her United States citizenship.

You see, like a proper woman in the 1960s she took her husband's last name. She's lived with this last name for 62 years. She does not, however, have a copy of her marriage certificate.

She is also the holder of a passport that expired 16 years ago. In the process of trying to renew her passport, which has her married name on it, the clerk at the post office asked for proof of marriage since her drivers license and passport names do not match her birth certificate. She wanted this proof to send in with the application just in case the US passport office decides to send it back due to the discrepancy. Even though she has an expired passport with her married name, they might not accept this any more as proof of citizenship.

If she cannot renew her passport, she also cannot get a REAL ID without proof of marriage. From 1963. When we searched the Cook County website for a marriage record, none were found. This will lead to what some might call "significant administrative burden" in the form of phone calls to government agencies to try to find a marriage certificate from 6 decades ago.

I then told her about the SAVE Act, which thankfully is stalled but may be why this is coming up for her now, when it was never an issue in the past. And that I *think* she will be OK and they will process her passport application because that didn't pass (yet).

She had no fuckin' idea what the SAVE Act is, because she only consumes conservative media. I was like if we can't sort this out and get a marriage certificate, you may not be able to vote if the SAVE Act passes.

Commence a bunch of "how can they do this?" type talk. In her defense, she had some sort of epiphany of how this is impacting immigrants and all the horrible shit going on. Because, you know, now it's affecting her.

She's a classic uninformed conservative voter, and she just got a big dose of FAFO. I was like, yeah. Can you understand why my brother and I keep saying "this is bad"?

Now let's roast some marshmallows.

@LoganFive I *think* popular hashtags were being scraped by AI, so someone proposed making something that is usually not trending start trending.

I have concepts of a #gravy

@saramg Just fantastic

JFC someone called someone a station wagon as a burn 🤣 🤣

No shitpost? You don’t own me.

Received an invitation to work in Sweden for a year as a visiting researcher, I assume as part of Europe's push to poach U.S. scientists based on, you know, things and what-have-yous going on here. Not something I can swing with 2 kids, but it's really nice to be considered.

This regal AF Norwegian goat wishes you a happy Midsommar 🌞

Even in the rain this place is fucking magnificent.

We’re in Norway watching local Hawaii news and saw someone we know from Chicago in a news clip about the first commercial flight from Newark to Greenland.

Norwegian marshmallow harvest is upon us

While the sun “sets” in Norway in June, it barely gets dark. This picture was taken at 11 pm and this is about it. Just 4 hours of “golden hour” light. It’s wild.

[wakes up]

WTF?

Meet the Eurasian Oystercatcher

Seems like a good day to leave the country.

Story time! This is long so I’ll 👋 should you scroll on by. Involves bullying but has a happy ending.

Today is my daughter’s last day at her school as she finishes 8th grade. We moved her and her brother out of the local public school 4 years ago, after they both did a full year of Zoom school due to COVID lockdown for 4th grade and kindergarten, respectively. If anyone asked me if I’d send my kids to private school I’d have been moderately offended. Both I and Mr. Nay went to public schools. I believe in public education, etc.

In 2nd grade the bullying started, peaking in 3rd grade. We’re talking middle school mean girls relational aggression shit. I was floored. The school did nothing, despite multiple meetings with the principal, who was new and spoke to me like a lawyer. She knew I’m a psychologist so maybe that affected the dynamic, I don’t know.

My daughter’s personality fundamentally changed from the bullying. People who knew her since she was a baby started asking what was wrong with her because she was no longer so outgoing. The principal admitted my kid was in a “particularly bad cohort.”

So I tried to socialize with the parents to help my kid and instead developed clinical depression that led me to take Wellbutrin for about a year. Turns out the apples didn’t fall far from the tree. It was like being thrust back into high school in my early 40s. I seriously considered moving out of the country. I was incredibly naive about suburban white moms and learned real fast what was expected and I failed miserably.

Then COVID lockdowns hit at the end of 3rd grade and my fucking god it was a relief in terms of getting her out of that environment. It also allowed us to pretty quickly identify she has ADHD. But inattentive type, so her teachers never flagged her. Her grades were fine. But she could in no way navigate her shitty peers.

I learned about her current school, which is secular and caters to kids with ADHD and others who may not fit into traditional public school models, from a patient. My mom offered to pay for half the tuition, and we transferred both kids.

Yes, I’m privileged to have the means to do this. That’s not lost on me in the slightest.

About 2 years ago my daughter told me she got her self-esteem back, having gone to her school and the experience she was having there. I shudder to think what would’ve happened to her if she stayed. Our fundamental core beliefs are shaped at these ages, and that’s all my psychologist brain was seeing happen in real time.

So now she’s headed back into public school in the fall for high school. Rejoining the assholes from her old cohort but with 2300 other students. Nearly a brown belt in karate, confident in herself, and way better prepared for the hell of suburban bullshit. She’s a bit nervous but I keep telling her she’ll find her people.

At the end of each year the teachers at her school vote on and give a little award for what best describes each kid’s character and this year she was given “integrity.” She’s going to be fine.

Everyone say hi to Boomer!

#DogsOfMastodon