Notices by Logan Five Thousand (loganfive@beige.party)

Remember to be kind, you dickhead.

@brad …is this one of those koans?
I’m going to say egglightenment.

@brad Why is that? It runs out of space? The steam?

Hot Yoga was invented by yoga studios that didn’t want to pay for air conditioning.

Inside of you are two wolf jokes.

Remember the buddy system, everyone. Does everyone have a buddy here on the Fediverse in case you get lost or need help?

America is 250 years old today and, like many seniors, it shows signs of memory problems, has fallen victim to scammers, and is struggling just to stay alive.

Can’t wait to celebrate Jesus discovering America! Happy 4th! 🇺🇸

How did you get this number?! This booty is unlisted.

We are all the goose. 🪿

Don’t bring strife to a pun fight.

What’s the WORST piece of advice you’ve ever been given or read?

How do you know when you've finally won Mastodon? Does the screen light up or is there some kind of song that plays?

Well at least the week is almost over.

Wait, I’m sorry, what now?

Has any seen my motivation? I can’t seem to find it.

Stressing about work after hours counts as work time. Be sure to put those hours on your timesheet.

Tear off sheet on a pole, but instead of information about a lost cat or dog, it’s a variety of poems that you can tear off and take with you for when you’re lost.

The ominous drums of battle can be heard in the distance. Archers prepare their bows as the frontline sharpen their swords. There is a smell of fear and despair in the air as the sense of battle raises everyone’s hairs. This is Monday.

Let this be our final battle!*

*Me, talking to my alarm clock in the morning

Some people are familiar with “grey rocking” someone, where you give as little interaction as possible. But have you tried “Grayskulling” someone? That’s when you rip off your shirt and ride on your cat into battle against them.