Notices by Logan 5 and 999 others (loganfive@beige.party), page 2

Just try walking a mile in my shoes first. Also, here, go a mile in my shirt. And a mile in my pants, socks, shoes. Great, you’ve got this. I’m gonna take off now.

@boby_biq Because her deadbeat husband never helped with the dishes I imagine.
“Oh, that’s fine, don’t help, and maybe your marmalade will contain strychnine.”

Endless Screaming bot is the only one who gets me.

Weird question: do any of you have specific pockets for things? Like you always put your keys (wallet, lip balm) in a specific pocket?

Things to give up for Lent:
- Amazon
- Target
- Whole Foods
- Buying from billionaires
- Paying with a credit card
- Letting tech companies track you

Just ran out of spoons for the year.

@amiserabilist @arichtman Paul, are you financially invested in Diogenes literature? What is happening around here? Did I sign up for a Diogenes history class and didn’t realize it?

@amiserabilist @arichtman

I’m calling in sick for the rest of the year.

I’d like to make a spoof of Stacey’s Mom Has Got it Going On, but with Grendel’s Mom. Does anyone with music skills want to collaborate on this?

Has someone tried destroying the One Ring?

A new secret third type of diabetes called triabetes.

@steter Good point! I do play some guitar poorly.

@GreenSkyOverMe There are all these myths about the Holy Grail, but there were other dinner items there at the Last Supper I imagine. A Holy Fork, Spoon, and Kniife, a Holy Napkin, Holy Dinner Plate, Holy Toothpicks.

How much pent-up rage did Agatha Christie have that she plotted over a hundred murders?

I am so behind in watching all the productivity videos I saved.

Nobody seems to care where Jesus's Holy Fork went.

I was into anxiety and depression before it was cool.

You can’t build a city on rock and roll! There’s no adequate sewer system, for god sakes! And do you know how many state zoning violations you have?

I only sell Non-GMO, 100% Fair Trade ennui.