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Light if he was actually high-IQ
>be me
>Light Yagami, actually living up to the hype this time
>instead of manipulating a simping Shinigami into killing L on my behalf like a Reddit-tier edgelord, decide to speedrun Japan’s entire institutional capture
>first target: NPA task force
>write every member’s name with “dies in five years from natural causes but in the meantime accepts a lucrative job in Silicon Valley working on AI blockchain compliance for fusion reactors”
>they all instantly resign to chase the bags
>Task Force HQ now emptier than Misa’s skull
>next move: cripple any attempt to rebuild it
>use Death Note’s “cause of death details” clause to force the Prime Minister into announcing H-1B-esque hiring initiative to “modernize Japanese policing”
>entire task force gets repopulated by imported coders who think Kira is an IDE extension
>their Japanese consists entirely of leetcode variable names
>L forced to communicate with them using PowerPoint
>L sweating
>he can’t interrogate the new guys because they’re technically contractors hired through a Delaware LLC
>also they keep threatening to transfer to Google DeepMind if working conditions don’t improve
>meanwhile
>I’m 17 years old, in my bedroom, conducting a flawless soft coup of national law enforcement
>decide to flex harder
>engineer global manhunt for Kira that requires multinational coordination
>then write: “all Interpol analysts tasked with Kira disappearance relocate to Bangalore as part of team-building exercise, trip lasts indefinitely”
>Interpol slack server: 8,000 Indian dudes asking who “Keerah” is
>L tries counterplay
>“we should bring in FBI agents”
>too late.jpg
>already wrote:
>“[every FBI agent assigned to Japan] suddenly develops burning passion for becoming a Twitch streamer; quits, sells badge, buys VTuber avatar, dies of natural causes in five years”
>American law enforcement collapses trying to figure out where their agents went
>one of them is literally doing Apex Legends streams during FBI roll call
>Light’s operations at this point
>looks less like a serial killer
>more like McKinsey but with divine authority
>I don’t even need to kill criminals
>I just start deleting regulatory bottlenecks
>Japan’s GDP spikes so hard the IMF sends a wellness check
>L sits alone in empty task force room
>wondering if crime-fighting is even possible without domestic workforce
>Only member left is Matsuda
>because Light forgot to write his name
>L suspects sabotage
>he’s right
>final move
>write in the Death Note:
>“L Lawliet realizes Kira’s identity in a stroke of genius, but before speaking it aloud spends 10 minutes filling out USCIS paperwork for an H-1B renewal he didn’t know he had, gets stuck on question 4b, dies of bureaucratic overload”
>L collapses
>task force dissolves
>Light wins by weaponizing immigration law
>mfw I solved the whole show without touching a potato chip or doing dramatic squats in my room
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>Your honor, this book has names and dates going into the future. Clearly this is a magical death notebook.
>Objection, speculation!
>That evidence could mean anything from cursed stationary to psychic clairvoyance powers!
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@Hoss Uhhh your honor this boy has a book with all the names and dates of the deceased
Your honor i just really like history and am recording all of this for future reference
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@Hoss Or you know he doesn't get caught because how could he. He has a magic book that kills people on a whim. How the hell would someone even prosecute you on that
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@bronze @Hoss
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@Hoss umm ackshully :nerdpoint:
the death note doesnt work like that
you cant just write "all shitskins die of diarrhea" it has to be a person's full name
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The name writing is implied.
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New Death Note strat: make spitballs with bits of the pages to inflict Shinigami insanity from afar.
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@Hoss @egirlyuumimain >prosecutor touches death note
>mere sight of weird looking shinigami freak causes him to have a heart attack and die
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>Get Death Note
>immediate write down the entire board of BlackRock on the first page
>Nothing happens
>mfw remember demons are never know by their true names
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@Squadalah_Man @Hoss @bronze I've always wondered how the Death Note would even define a name at all.
Is it just the first name you're given or is it the one on the birth certificate?
If someone were born in the jungle and both of the parents had died before naming them, would the person in quest be completely invulnerable?
What happens if you try to kill someone whose name can only be used correctly in speech and is unsuitable for writing?
What happens if the parents are dicks and they give their child a symbol or image instead of a name?
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@Squadalah_Man @Hoss @bronze If two dykes get married, which name do you write in the Death Note to kill them? Their maiden name or their marriage name?
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@LivingSpaceStudios @Hoss @bronze Huh. Yeah I wonder how the book's rules would handle name changes like that then. If it has to be the original name women would be a lot harder to kill with it on average.
Guess try one name and if it doesn't work try the other?
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@Squadalah_Man @Hoss @bronze Which name do you use if you want to killed trannies? Does their deadname have to become literal?
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@LivingSpaceStudios @Hoss @bronze Their new name probably counts as an alias. Like he couldn't just write "L" a name that was taken on, he needed the actual name.
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@Hoss @bronze I wonder how many would die if you wrote Treyquandrius Jones in the Death Note.
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@LivingSpaceStudios @Hoss @bronze Would it still work if the dumb nigger doesn't even know how his own name is spelled?
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@Hoss
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That's literally the only reason L, Near and Mello are unable to be NOTED by Light's BDN instantly.
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@Marakus @Morghur @bronze @LivingSpaceStudios @Squadalah_Man @Hoss book COMPLETELY gives a shit, using fake names or aliases that are variations of your real name defeats it entirely. you need to get their birth name.
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@Morghur @Hoss @bronze @LivingSpaceStudios @Squadalah_Man Book probably doesnt give a shit, while it follows rules as written, it doesnt have rules for jew bullshit. And with how jews are despised, how they make entire religion of screwing with gods rules, gods would punish them by using loopholes on them too.
Also, half of lifetime (λ³) to eradicate the jew menace is a fair trade.
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You kinda wonder if the public name of kike public figures is their actual name.
Not only they try to disguise themselves they probably have 3 or 4 fake identities
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Remember the rules: you need their real name and their faces for the death note to work. Also their cause of death needs to be completely possible.
Another thing that Hoss forgot is that you can only control the actions of a person for 20 days. After that they will die. And if you set them to die of a sickness it will be 100% lethal and it has to run its course naturally.
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@Hoss @egirlyuumimain I thought it was kinda weird that L had professional thief friends he could call in here but nobody with mystic or spiritual expertise when it was beyond obvious the murders were being accomplished through supernatural means.
Of course the core of the story is that Light wanted a world where the judges believed the book worked more than anyone. His desire to be a god was core to the story.
Of course no matter how high he reached he could never transcend the god of publishing which forced the story into that retarded shinigami simp ass pull (the same shinigami who threatened to kill Light if anything happened to Misa apparently forgot about that lol(
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@MartianM00n @Hoss @egirlyuumimain You have to meet it halfway as nobody here would get a death note and decide he wants the world to fear him as though he were a god. Having that inherently unreasonable ambition changes what Light should want to do into many totally unreaaonable actions, and the myriad dramatic and personality-related threads tying Light and L together means neither of them can act perfectly rationally with regards to each other as their egos are locked together.
The writer's finger is still on the scale thougu and his limitations both internal and external still apply. The above doesn't excuse some of the dumbest parts but it makes a lot of the suboptimal decisions make sense.
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@DrRyanSkelton @Hoss @egirlyuumimain The thing about Death Note is that it's a comic about smart people, written by people that aren't smart.
Its success relies on the fact that the audience is even dumber than the writers.
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L isn't even any better than Light. All he wants is to win the game at any cost, even if it means sacrificing others for the sake of his investigation. Bro devised plans which completely hinged on the assumption that Light would murder the poor bastards he set up to die for his autistic investigation.
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L doesn't give a shit about the morality of Light's extrajudicial murders. He just wants the W only the World's Greatest Detective™ can claim.
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@Hoss @DrRyanSkelton @MartianM00n A smarter man would have just shot him
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@Hoss @DrRyanSkelton @MartianM00n I hate to tell this to him but no jury would ever convict a man of killing people with a magic murder book
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I would. Not because he's a murderer, because he used the magical murder notebook to fight deviancy from the ground up instead of the top down. Imagine squandering the ultimate weapon on mostly low-level vigilantism.
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L be like "I am 97.3% certain the most competent member of my task force is the very killer we're looking for, but there's a 2.7% chance I'm wrong and stuck dealing with the rest of these retards by myself."
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@egirlyuumimain @Hoss @MartianM00n L is a detective straight out of a detective story so those are what is required of the role. Autistic detachment, an obsession with the puzzle and the challenge, and of course the need to expose the truth. He isn't Rorschach, he cannot simply just shoot whoever he thinks it is. That would be abuse of the detective intuition narrative cheat power. And his autism is why the best he gets is a small task force backing him that never back his hunches and the only competent helper he had was Kira.
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It's a very Japanese approach to solving the problem. It makes sense in the context of a very low-crime, homogenous society where the people have little reason to question whether criminal behavior and social decay are actually products of intentional social engineering from powerful third parties.
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@Hoss @MartianM00n @egirlyuumimain Boomercon Kira
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Kino. That sounds infinitely superior to the anime plotline.
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@Hoss @MartianM00n @egirlyuumimain I don't have the video handy but the Japanese live action death note (not the nigflix one) had L win by writing his own name in the book to expose Kira which wraps everything up with a bow, an end perfectly fitting L's all consuming dedication to this idiotic case and is the only ending I accept the story
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@Hoss @MartianM00n @egirlyuumimain As a storybook detective, any amount below 100% makes his summation imperfect and is not an acceptable conclusion.
To that end, the author allowing Kira magic amnesia is such an absurd prank to pull on L who is honor bound to do nothing about it. Like watching heel wrestlers repeatedly hit the face with a chair and the match still continue.
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