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DeezMistaReez :verified: (deezmistareez@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 12:40:53 JST DeezMistaReez :verified:
Five months later? Yea. Desperation for attention or finally realized how to use the gifting system at Target. I’d send him a congrats card with a $30 gift card to Texas Roadhouse. -
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Twoinchdestroya (twoinchdestroya@poa.st)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 12:40:52 JST Twoinchdestroya
@DeezMistaReez @Humpleupagus send a letter that simply says "congratulations"
That's more than enough -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 12:40:52 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
I should send it from where they got married. 😏 -
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The Forbidden Dreamer (forbiddendreamer@poa.st)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 16:05:19 JST The Forbidden Dreamer
@DeezMistaReez @Humpleupagus @Twoinchdestroya No, send them a dozen $50 gift cards with $0.12 remaining on them. Imagine the embarrassment... -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 16:05:19 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
I think I've decided.
1. I'm not going to go.
2. If he asks... "why didn't you come to my wedding reception," I'm going to confusedly say, "I don't recall getting an wedding invitation," as if the term "wedding" and "reception" are interchangeable or related concepts. Then I'll watch the dance. -
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🌈Magical Thinking (magicalthinking@noauthority.social)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 16:49:17 JST 🌈Magical Thinking
@Humpleupagus @DeezMistaReez @ForbiddenDreamer @Twoinchdestroya
If anyone asks why you weren't at their wedding they should get the truth.
You made it too difficult for me to attend.
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 16:49:17 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
I'll get there. I just have a style when it comes to snaring someone. I wouldn't be snarky about it. Rather, I'd just set up a situation where there's no way out other than conceding wrong. I hate having to do it, but I've regularly employed such techniques in my practice and personal life, and the intent is always to bring about resolution and purification through fire. -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 23:48:09 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
War is the means to peace. Violence is the earth from which love grows. -
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Your Loud, Obnoxious Skunkle Jesse (feralphilosophernc@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 23:48:10 JST Your Loud, Obnoxious Skunkle Jesse
That's a lawyer response, alright -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 23:56:18 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
Making it too difficult to attend is de facto dis-invitation. Let's not pretend about intent. -
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UnCL3 (uncl3@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 23:56:19 JST UnCL3
"You made it too difficult for me to attend"
well, that and the whole lack of a invitation to an wedding... -
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Tadg_macNuadat (tadg_macnuadat@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:27:27 JST Tadg_macNuadat
Tis a good point. If you've had a relationship with him you can send a note and really pour on the family guilt stuff. ?? Humpleupagus ?? likes this. -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:27:27 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
I have a style when it comes to dealing with people. It's a dance. Timing, tenor, tone, it's an art. I do this for a living. -
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Twoinchdestroya (twoinchdestroya@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:34:11 JST Twoinchdestroya
@Humpleupagus @DeezMistaReez @Tadg_macNuadat raping while suit sober, the lawyer's play -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:34:11 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
I really do strive towards resolution and harmony. It's my nature. But I also know that the tools to be employed towards that end be temporarily painful. It's like having to go through chemotherapy to kill the cancer.
I really believe in boundaries and expectations, and that setting them are necessary to healthy relationships. Talking doesn't set boundaries. That's some jewish-freudian shit. Talk rarely solidifies. Action does. It's partially why our entire society is fucked up. We were told that we need to talk about everything. Yes, discussion is important towards assessment, but only action causes real change. -
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Tadg_macNuadat (tadg_macnuadat@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:38:14 JST Tadg_macNuadat
I hear you. It is just a party but your feelings are hurt. And you want retribution? -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:38:14 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
No. I want to create a space for amends. -
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Tadg_macNuadat (tadg_macnuadat@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:42:12 JST Tadg_macNuadat
like you said. You do this for a living. I'm just an internet guy. -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:42:12 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
That doesn't mean you may not have valuable input. I'm always conducive to change. Just in my experience, who moves first in these type of matters often signifies weakness / subservience.
If he is in the wrong, it is counter productive for me to reach out to him. He must come to me. I cannot seek amends. He must seek them from me. Otherwise, they are likely to be disingenuous and feigned. -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:48:34 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
> Is that fair to him?
You speak as if the world is static. The world is dynamic. Resolution is a process. Nothing has become final, no judgment has been rendered, and finality is yet to come. To put it another way, your question is pre-mature. I am very fair. I will treat him fairly. If I were to do what you suggest, that wouldn't be fair. The finality would come too early, and nothing will have changed. -
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Weed B Gone (dc5fan@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:48:35 JST Weed B Gone
@Humpleupagus @Tadg_macNuadat @DeezMistaReez @Twoinchdestroya Have you even considered that perhaps he has no idea how you even feel about this? And if so, is that fair to him? -
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Tadg_macNuadat (tadg_macnuadat@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:49:00 JST Tadg_macNuadat
those things aren't a matter of consideration in my family. I'd rather just go to the reception anyway. I don't understand how you are reaching out to him if he invited you to a party. I don't buy into the macchivalian stuff you're talking about. If my niece invited me to a party I'd go. Especially if it was in relation to her marriage. ?? Humpleupagus ?? likes this. -
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Weed B Gone (dc5fan@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:53:56 JST Weed B Gone
@Humpleupagus @DeezMistaReez @Tadg_macNuadat @Twoinchdestroya It wasn't my intent to insult or provoke you. I just wanted you to try and see the situation from his perspective. I tend to give others the benefit of the doubt unless I have a reason not too. Perhaps there is more to the situation and this is just another instance of a slight within a larger pattern. I just remember when I was in my 20s I wasn't thinking too much about anyone other than myself. ?? Humpleupagus ?? likes this. -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 12:54:20 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
Twenties I get. I was young and dumb once too. He's in his 30s. -
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Based Stable Lunatic (basedlunatic@annihilation.social)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 13:01:53 JST Based Stable Lunatic
@DC5FAN @DeezMistaReez @Humpleupagus @Tadg_macNuadat @Twoinchdestroya I can't really understand this way of thinking. Blood is Blood -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 13:01:53 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
Yeah. I can't imagine not inviting all of my family to my wedding or making it difficult to attend. I guess different people have different priorities. -
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Based Stable Lunatic (basedlunatic@annihilation.social)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 13:01:54 JST Based Stable Lunatic
@DC5FAN @DeezMistaReez @Humpleupagus @Tadg_macNuadat @Twoinchdestroya As having part Spanish family I can't comprehend not inviting your uncle but I believe this is pretty universal -
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Weed B Gone (dc5fan@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 13:01:54 JST Weed B Gone
@BasedLunatic @DeezMistaReez @Humpleupagus @Tadg_macNuadat @Twoinchdestroya With weddings, once money gets involved folks don't make the list. Like my wife has relatives that always invite her but not her sister. So I have to listen to them bicker about this stuff. I'd rather not attend shit like that. I'm an obligatory invite at best. Nobody gives a fuck if I'm there. -
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Weed B Gone (dc5fan@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 13:03:32 JST Weed B Gone
@BasedLunatic @DeezMistaReez @Humpleupagus @Tadg_macNuadat @Twoinchdestroya I think we had 120 people at our wedding. I had like 15 people and my wife had to cut out a bunch of folks because her family is huge. ?? Humpleupagus ?? likes this. -
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Weed B Gone (dc5fan@poa.st)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 13:11:24 JST Weed B Gone
@Humpleupagus @DeezMistaReez @Tadg_macNuadat @Twoinchdestroya My brother hasn't spoken to my Mom since my Dad's funeral. It's been over five years and she's 87. She doesn't know why he won't speak to her. He has shunned his own mother and won't even tell her why. -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 13:11:24 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
I'm different. I will talk. I talk with my parents several hours at least once a week, and I see them regularly too. I also talk to siblings too. We get along and there's plenty of love to go around.
If I have an issue, I resolve it. I'm not one to hold a grudge. First, that's unhealthy. Second, I'm a spaniard, not Italian. I'm too lazy to hold one.
I also believe that there's a time and place for resolution, and if can be nuanced depend of the persons involved and the situation. The goal should always be to make everyone "healthier".
It's unfortunate that your brother hasn't spoke to your mom. He may regret it once she passes, and with elders, that comes sooner than people realize. -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 13:26:19 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
I love bachelor parties! -
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Peter (mcmlxviiotg@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 13:26:20 JST Peter
> It is just a party
Nah. The party we're talking about comes *right after the wedding*. The two go hand-in-hand, it's right there in it's name. You can't have a wedding reception without a wedding immediately preceding it.
In August, Hump should mail out out invites to his nephew's bachelor party. -
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?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 13:39:10 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??
We have to have the pre-party first. I think I'm just going to send strippers to his house. -
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Tadg_macNuadat (tadg_macnuadat@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Monday, 03-Mar-2025 13:39:11 JST Tadg_macNuadat
that is a good idea. I'm religious again but I'd prefer the after party even if the after happens months later. ?? Humpleupagus ?? likes this.
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