the lunar terra (she/her)
okie doke, it's time for #feminizationfriday
as always, these posts are anecdotal; i write about my own experiences and try very hard not to generalize. my experiences may not resonate with you and that's good, actually (because we are different humans and diversity is good).
today's topic will be: advice i would give to myself when i was just starting my transition :)
the lunar terra (she/her)
one more note here: functionally there is no difference between a person who is blocked by the cistem against their best intentions and someone who is gleefully upholding it.
the outcome is the same. it feels the same.
i know that "impact matters, not intent"
... but, like, We Live In A Society™️. in time, i have come to realize that intent does actually matter. at least a bit.
be thankful for the people who try and fail to overcome the cistem. not grateful, but thankful.
the lunar terra (she/her)
knowing when someone is being sincere and blocked by the cistem and when they're being a sinister enforcer of the cistem is honestly much harder than it might sound.
you will get a feel for these vibes in time, but the only way to get there is to try and fail. it's going to hurt. keep going. that discomfort is growing pain of your soul expanding.
be courageous. be braver than you've ever been. run further than you've ever run.
it will be worth it every time.
the lunar terra (she/her)
next: the importance of self advocacy
nobody is going to advocate for your experience of transness except you.
there are a lot of reasons for this, some innocent and some sinister.
assert your name and pronouns; do not compromise without having a discussion first. if someone tries their best, but the cistem won't allow them to enact your request, have the grace to accept it.
if you make a reasonable request and it's not honoured - raise a fuss.
the lunar terra (she/her)
as you begin to recognize and grok trans culture, you will understand yourself better. it will help with recognizing where you have internalized transphobia and cisnormativity.
it won't undo the conditioning, but knowing there's a trap is the first step in evading it. 🪤❤️
i am dead serious about this: until you realize how unique and special it is to be trans, you are still under cis cultural conditioning.
cis people are a dime a dozen. trans people are rare and magical.
the lunar terra (she/her)
next: immersion in trans culture
it's so important to understand: trans culture IS culture. for your whole life you have been swimming in cis culture. it is so omnipresent that it's hard to even recognize it.
the only way to begin to undo this is to immerse yourself in trans culture. surround yourself with transness. trans friends, trans authors, trans filmmakers, trans podcasts.
pause your intake of cis culture for at least 6 months.
the lunar terra (she/her)
do not tolerate delay any aspect of your gender affirming care for anything other than your own feelings. the medical system will delay you, but you should treat this as unacceptable.
also: do not under any circumstances delay it for anyone else in your life. no matter what. you will regret it if you delay it to save someone else's feelings... even if that person means a lot to you.
the lunar terra (she/her)
first up: medical transition.
the medical system is a trash fire. there are a lot of wonderful people in it who somehow work magic despite the absolute disaster it is, but do not assume any aspect of your gender affirming care will go well. assume you will have to fight for everything, that you will be delayed, that you will have to convince people, and that you may have to lie.
everything you might want, start it early.
the lunar terra (she/her)
I'll talk about the following:
- medical transition stuff
- immersion in trans culture
- the importance of self advocacy
- thoughts on dealing with cis people
- when to be chill and when to spring into action
- the importance and dangers of chasing trans joy
the lunar terra (she/her)
next: thoughts on dealing with cis people
cis people suck. so much.
... but they mostly don't mean to.
would you be mad at a child for saying something inconsiderate and hurtful? they simply don't know better.
if you can find the grace to teach them, do. if they learn, great. if they don't, take note. avoid trans discussion with the ones who can't learn.
... and remember: there could be complicated reasons why they have a hard time with trans issues... 🥚🥚🥚
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