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   CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 15-Sep-2023 04:47:33 JST CJ Bellwether

   @tattie i currently say "people who arent non-binary"

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     CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 15-Sep-2023 05:15:37 JST CJ Bellwether

     in reply to

     • Joscelyn Transpiring

     @JoscelynTransient @tattie when you get down to it, being queer in any way or gnc is violation of the gender binary. like being a muscular woman who is heterosexual is in violation of the gender binary. Its every single way we violently police gender identity, gender freedom and expression.

     Idk, i consider myself female, that is the truest way i can express my gender identity, but my other sexual characteristics are certainly not binary, my existence as a trans woman is fully in contrast to the gender binary, so i dont consider myself binary in any way. But at the same time i see Non-binary as an identity.

     Like when i first applied to change my name they sent a letter that suggested i could choose Mx as a title, and at the time a lot of UK systems like banks were starting to consider accepting it. So i felt it applied to how i felt about myself at that moment, i felt i was going somewhere but not there yet, but more importantly that by taking it as a title i could be part of the wave pushing more institutions to accept it. But over time i realised i was happier as a Miss but there are tons of my friends who were now Mx's so i realised i was stronger stepping back, being what i was, and championing what they were.

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     Joscelyn Transpiring (joscelyntransient@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Friday, 15-Sep-2023 05:15:45 JST Joscelyn Transpiring

     in reply to

     @siege @tattie I know this is snarky, but this does make me want to then identify as "not not non-binary" 😅

     I actually chew on this too, CJ, cause being trans is by nature being in violation of the gender binary. There's a video essay by Lily Alexandre that actually gets at some thoughts I share on this: https://youtu.be/eAXFn22q8Ac?si=s70XuIOpvOFc_C6c

     Would be curious either CJ's or Tattie's thoughts because this is an area of queer language I'm still reflecting on.

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     CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 15-Sep-2023 05:19:43 JST CJ Bellwether

     in reply to

     • Joscelyn Transpiring

     @JoscelynTransient @tattie idk i radically dislike gender binarism and people who try to invalidate non-binary people, which is why binary is so hard for me as a term and i feel so tied up in trying to explain the paradox of why.

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     CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 15-Sep-2023 05:35:33 JST CJ Bellwether

     in reply to

     • T. T. Perry
     • Joscelyn Transpiring

     @ttpphd @JoscelynTransient @tattie that actually sounds really good.

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     T. T. Perry (ttpphd@mastodon.social)'s status on Friday, 15-Sep-2023 05:35:34 JST T. T. Perry

     in reply to

     • Joscelyn Transpiring

     @siege @JoscelynTransient @tattie

     Could take a page from intersex discourse and use "endogender" as a parallel to endosex.

     "An endosex person is someone whose innate sex characteristics fit normative medical or social ideas for female or male bodies. The word endosex is an antonym of intersex."

     https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endosex

     Something like: An endogender person is someone whose gender presentation fits normative ideas for female or male bodies.

     What do you think?

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     CJ Bellwether (siege@octodon.social)'s status on Friday, 15-Sep-2023 06:15:56 JST CJ Bellwether

     in reply to

     • T. T. Perry
     • Joscelyn Transpiring

     @JoscelynTransient @ttpphd @tattie yeah absolutely, i have no control over semantics but i am shooketh, this is the first time ive read a term that works.

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     Joscelyn Transpiring (joscelyntransient@chaosfem.tw)'s status on Friday, 15-Sep-2023 06:15:58 JST Joscelyn Transpiring

     in reply to

     • T. T. Perry

     @siege @ttpphd @tattie yeah, I like that a lot better. Makes a lot of sense! I still identify as a nonbinary trans woman for a lot of reasons, but I could see "endogender" being something that wouldn't reinforce or reimpose the gender binary stuff on our community.