Notices by Girl on the Net (girlonthenet@mastodon.social), page 6

@Dtl @BethanyBlack sorry you’re like this too 😢Every object should be padded at all times imo

@BethanyBlack ohhh this is a good idea!! I need indoor trainers! Thanks 😂

This isn’t very important but I’m 80% sure I broke one of my toes today. I kicked something hard, *very* hard, by accident and then tried to just walk it off. Turns out you cannot ‘walk off’ this sort of thing and now I have huge, throbbing regrets.

#MoneySaving tip: save cash on expensive salon manicures by hanging out with a 4 year old

Some of you believe this to be a comment upon the gender of the Duolingo owl, but it is not. It is a comment on whether or not birds canonically have nipples.

A friend of mine just shared this because some random bigot on his FB was kicking off that the Duo owl would be pro-LGBT+ rights ("I'll DELETE THE APP!! OMG"). Obviously this is hilariously tragic and bigots should fuck off but I feel like there's a deeper question that needs answering here.

Namely: why does this owl have tits?

Is the Duolingo owl... a mammal?

#ICYMI, last week's fabulous guest blog by Violet Grey takes apart #HarrisonButker's terrible commencement speech, and explains why his take is more eerily reminiscent of The Stepford Wives than of the Gospel she loves.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/who-are-you-mrs-harrison-butker/

PSA: #AudioPorn is NOT more 'ethical' than video.

This time last year I had a big rant about why the dominant narrative around audio being more ethical is harmful and wildly inaccurate.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/audio-porn-more-ethical-than-video/

@goatsarah hahaha exactly. The most useful of all info.

@goatsarah this is deeply upsetting to my eyes and my soul

This is a bit cheese but... yesterday, when I finished my massive bike ride (62 MILES! I AM COOL), my boyfriend was there waving at the finish line.

He'd tracked me on the app that lets your friends/family see where you are on the course, then turned up at Tower Bridge in time to see me finish, and buy me a pint.

That was really cool.

I don't think many other boyfriends would have done that for me.

My boyfriend does stuff. It's pretty cool.

He came to meet me, even though I'd told him he didn't have to. Even though - I can't stress this enough - he *genuinely didn't have to*. I wouldn't have been sad or annoyed if he didn't, it's not something I would ever expect.

But he did it anyway.

And it brought me so much joy.

The idea that someone would put themselves out just to cheer me on was really cool. Seeing him at the finish line was immense - it made me feel very loved and cared for.

I had said, beforehand, that I didn't mind if he came to meet me at the finish line. And that's true. Fundamentally this bike ride was something I was doing for *myself*. So what if I just rode over the finish line, had a quiet can of Strongbow on my own in a park, then wheeled my bike onto the train with aching legs and a sense of solitary pride?

I couldn't ask my boyfriend to *support* me, that would be frivolous.
Not what a good, low-maintenance girl should do.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/good-girl-points-ill-be-loved/

Lol yeah, that's right motherfucker. My house, my rules, shut the fuck up.

Let’s start looking forward to it: how will YOU celebrate the utter humiliation and potential annihilation of the Tory party on 4th July?

If you were to buy a sex doll, which would you rather: the one who looks like she's been crying in secret, or the one who is Sick Of Your Bullshit?

Imagine if you put in tonnes of work, successfully invented time travel, hopped back into the distant past, then found out you were allergic to dinosaurs.

Had an emergency this weekend (all is fine) that required me to cycle back and forth between loads of places and let me tell you, there is no music better suited to helping you stay positive while you tear through London than punk covers of Disney songs.

🎵LET IT GOOOOOO🎵

@Mactonex I just cannot stand for this, it is appalling behaviour from someone I had previously respected. It's basically slander is what it is. I'm going to have to find a new lawyer, so that my old lawyer @neil can expect a strongly-worded letter from them.

This is hot because it's a #threesome, but I hope you'll agree it's made hotter by the fact that even after 20-odd years, the woman who joined me in threesoming that dude popped into the comments to say hi.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/hot-threesome-story/

I make porn, and sometimes - to my unending delight - it brings my exes out the woodwork to reveal they sometimes read the blog, and high-five me. Yay.