Notices by Coyoty (coyoty@mstdn.social), page 3

@lowqualityfacts

"My job requires it."
-J.D.

"He paid me."
--Andrew

"I'm hoping he'll pay me."
--Rudy

"I want a pardon."
--Jacob

@lowqualityfacts That's why the Wizard of Oz had the Scarecrow go to the Wicked Witch's castle. He was disappointed it only took a bucket of water to kill her.

@lowqualityfacts The Church of Buyingtology.

@lowqualityfacts Now I won't be able to sleep after knowing this.

@lowqualityfacts They're not for or against the existence of a deity. They're newtral.

@lowqualityfacts

@lowqualityfacts "But I'm Trump's running mate and he says I have to vote for him."

@lowqualityfacts He still has no superpowers or friends, after building the armor to get them (and for critical life support). Tragic.

@lowqualityfacts They were in Area 51 because he had "foreign relations" with aliens. They're leverage to keep them from invading Earth. That's the real UFO conspiracy.

@lowqualityfacts Chickens hatch from chicken eggs, so the chicken egg must come first.

@lowqualityfacts That's why I never go to his concerts.

@lowqualityfacts If they won't do that for him, they can't be relied on to do anything else he commands.

@lowqualityfacts "Vote for Trump or I'll hit that duck with a rock."

@jima @ElleGray @inthehands I think Elle has spawned a shared novel franchise about a Kennedy assassination time war. She can title it "Dead Kennedys".

@mjj @MicroSFF That's how they get rid of assholes.

@teletraaniv @georgetakei When are you going to say "I Dew"?

@georgetakei They don't appreciate your sacrificing yourself for them.

@georgetakei My Phone Thinks Every Word I Type Is In A Title.

@MatthewChat @georgetakei Didn't know Arakis was near Betelgeuse.

@georgetakei
"The menu says, 'Booming Onion'. I think it's misspelled."
"It's not, sir."