Embed this notice:debian:anokasion (anokasion@hidamari.apartments)'s status on Sunday, 28-Sep-2025 21:43:38 JST
:debian:anokasionSo it's a sunny Sunday. There's nothing more common and depressing to me than a sunny Sunday. I know I'm the problem, that needs either the small buzz of a week day of the city, or a cloudy and cold day, even better if it also rains to listen to the sound of it. The real problem here it's that I need someone to not be alone all the time... but that's not gonna happen at my age. Even less likely to happen when I have to dedicate most of the day to LDAP's password schemas. Is there a god that takes these kind of situations as suffering for some karma or afterlife's coin? *sigh* Sorry for my rant. Enjoy some nice feet at least.
Embed this notice:debian:anokasion (anokasion@hidamari.apartments)'s status on Thursday, 11-Sep-2025 19:33:47 JST
:debian:anokasionYesterday I finally got submitted to an Endoscopy that I totally didn't want to have due to anesthesia -because of my prior problems, I was super afraid that it wouldn't work properly on me, like it wouldn't be able to knock me out properly and I would wake up in the middle of the procedure. I know, but that really scared me more than anything. Well the anesthesia went without problem, I barely remember it, but the doctor couldn't finish the Endoscopy to see what was wrong with me, because he found too much blood while going into the gastrointestinal tract with the microcamera due to an upper gastrointestinal bleeding.
Due to how things happened during the day, I came back home for "rest" until there's a date for the procedure aka surgery. I also got explained why I have been feeling more tired than usual, with some blood going to places it shouldn't (use your imagination), it causes a lack of iron, which causes the sudden tiredness. I have been going from being so depressed to so angry, this already was affecting my working performance and therefore I'm in a dire economy situation. I'm going to leave my old ko-fi here if someone can help me, for the first time I'm not ashamed in e-begging: https://ko-fi.com/touhoumoot Please help me so I don't have to worry so much about bills and my mental meds on top of this bloody thing. I practically have no family, only my cousin and uncle are left and they always wanted me far from the family.
I will do my best to keep working even when I feel suddenly tired, because that's when depression hits the worse. The last pic it's a paper napkin from when I woke up and sneeze my nose. Sorry for the quality of the pics.
@Suiseiseki have you ever been to a doctor for a mental checkup? don't take it wrong, it is a normal thing nowadays in the society we are forced to live
Punished developer, xBSD/Linux hero; into politics, literature, Touhou, vidya, pharms, and old time weeb.I currently use MX Linux, and I code solo from house small/medium scale projects