Notices by monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 (monkeyborg@triangletoot.party), page 3

The person who invented metaphors must have been tripping balls

No matter how much I work out, I will never be as hot as these Javan gibbons. This is what peak performance looks like.

????⚡⚡ TAINT PAIN ⚡⚡

I know that Atkinson Hyperlegible Font was designed with the intention of being more readable for low-vision users, but has there been any empirical research into whether it actually succeeds at that? I havenʼt been able to find anything.

@Mrfunkedude Am a caucasian Cholula enjoyer; can confirm

The thing with the Edit Button on Masto is you might fave my post “Hitler is the bomb diggety” and later when I surreptitiously change that to “the gay is okay” all of a sudden the boys down at the tactical truck decal appreciation society think you got the Woke Mind Virus and keep your shampoo and conditioner in separate bottles

The older you get, the shorter history seems. 1000 years? Hell, I’ve been alive almost 5% of that.

Here we go again

“By designating producers of fentanyl as [Foreign Terrorist Organizations], the U.S. federal and state law enforcement bureaucracies would have expanded powers to freeze the assets of U.S. citizen collaborators of the cartels. They could be prosecuted under terrorism statutes which carry stiffer sentences. The deterrent factor would be palpable.”

https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2023/03/02/fentanyl-terrorists-drug-trade-00085034

@Mrfunkedude “Why, no!”

“Yeah, that tracks.”

Only two weeks left to shop for Caesar Stabbinʼ Day

@Mrfunkedude itʼs the latest fad

I may be an ass. hole

What if we took a break from making tech that does new things to go back and make all the tech weʼve already made actually work consistently

Smart business move on Scott Adamsʼ part. With the continuing contraction of the newspaper industry, he knew his days of being able to coast on a syndication deal for a comic strip that hasnʼt been funny since the Clinton administration were coming to a close. But selling books, ad impressions, and scammy dietary supplements while complaining about being cancelled is a growth industry.

It’s bullshit that cats don’t live forever

They should be handed down from generation to generation like a family heirloom

“Being a member of this family means that, when your time comes, you will shoulder the awesome responsibility of caring for Mr. Purrfectpaws.”

And hell yeah they should get to eat you when you die. In this way you become one with your ancestors and eternity

Everybody said a home bathroom attendant was an extravagance and “frankly a little weird” until I fell in and got stuck and nobody but Pepin was there to save my life. Who’s laughing now?

@Mrfunkedude A baby pooping in public isnʼt cursed tho thatʼs just what they do

The most cursed image I can imagine is a clown squatting and pooping on the street while a baby points and cries

Clear as morning and refreshing as a slap to the face in the cold mountain air. Goddammit, Crystal Pepsi was too pure for this world

jass

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeans_instability#Jeans_mass