Notices by 𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒶 "not Christmas Cake" (lana@beige.party)

I think all humans should be required to say their own name like a Pokemon instead of "hello". That would be so helpful.

TODAY'S NEWS:

White Man Gets Convicted of 34 Felonies, Is Sentenced To Zero Jail Time, Fines, Or Other Penalties.

Post-apocalypse TV show paused due to sudden outbreak of apocalypse

@atomicpoet maybe it's because I have fewer followers than you, or maybe putting my name in script makes it harder to index, but chatgpt doesn't seem to know who I am (yet).

Over 1,200 terrorists have pled guilty or have been found guilty of crimes stemming from Jan 6.

❌Not one Democrat
❌Not one liberal
❌Not one leftist
❌Not one BLM activist
❌Not one Antifa
❌Not one feminist
❌Not one "illegal" immigrant
❌Not one LGBT activist
❌Not one trans person
❌Not one communist, socialist, or Marxist

They were all dipshit MAGA terrorists. Every single one of them.

I need you to understand something about how the dipshit MAGA christofascist brain works. See, I was raised in a christofascist household in southern Kansas. In their minds, everything, and I mean *everything* stems from a hierarchial structure that goes:

God
⬇️
Man
⬇️
Wife
⬇️
Children

In which God has authority over man, man has authority over his wife, and his wife has authority over their children. Now I want you to take a good look at this and notice a few things about it.

1) Notice that it's not "woman". Its "wife". A woman only has value in this system if and when she is married, and married specifically to a man. This is why they're so upset with gayness. Gay men and lesbians, as well as unmarried adults, are a threat to the hierarchy.

2) Notice that the gender binary is strictly enforced through the hierarchy. This is why they're so upset with transness. If people are free to decide which gender they are, then they effectively get to decide what level of authority they get. Trans people are a threat to the hierarchy.

3) Notice that it's not "men", it's "man". There is no collective power in this hierarchy. Authority is given by God to individual men, to do with as they will. That is why they're so upset with collective systems like democracy, socialism, and communism. The concept of community power itself is a threat to the hierarchy.

4) Notice that men are not given direct authority over their children, but rather indirect authority through their wives. This is essential to the concept of gendered work, and allows for men to justify being an absentee father and placing the (unpaid) work of childcaring solely on the shoulders of women. This is why they are so upset with women who choose a career over a family, and it explains why they're so upset with the idea of women getting an abortion. Women who can choose are a direct threat to the hierarchy.

See Dick.
See Dick run.
See Dick's Hilfeleistungslöschgruppenfahrzeug.

Hey remember that time four years ago when a black guy named George *might* have sold a loose cigarette, which is illegal, so the justice system politely asked him to come to court and about 20 cops gave him a police escort to make sure he arrived safely when he did arrive he mocked the judge and fell asleep and farted loudly on everyone and then George went on to have a long, profitable career in conning people out of their money on national TV and trying to overthrow the US government, and then the judge politely said "Mr. Floyd, you might have done something wrong but that's ok, there will be zero consequences for your actions" and George immediately said something racist about the judge and tried to sell the jury a loose cigarette?

Remember that?

Yeah I wonder why not.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/03/politics/trump-hush-money-conviction-upheld/index.html

In these trying, modern times, many people are struggling. So here are five helpful tips for Just Fucking Staying Alive In 2025:

1. Focus on shit you yourself can control. If it's not your toilet, it's not your shit. Leave it alone.

2. You can still be a good person without being a nice person. You don't owe your oppressor kindness.

3. Block and bless. At this point you're either on the right side or you're beyond help. We're not wasting energy trying to train you how to be fucking decent anymore.

4. Hope is not fragile. Hope gets knocked down, picks herself back up, spits out a tooth, and throws the next punch.

5. Sleep is the free-est vacation of them all.

7: "Seven of Nine" from Star Trek: Voyager, played by Jeri Ryan

Two numbers for the price of one! A reformed Borg, who is relearning how to be human again. And before anyone replyguys me to tell me her name is actually Annika Hansen, I know. Do not quote the deep lore at me, I was there when it was created. Pretty much nobody calls her anything other than "Seven" in casual conversation, until we meet her character again in Star Trek: Picard.

8: "Sharon 'Boomer' Valerii" from Battlestar Galactica, played by Grace Park.

The third and last cylon model on this list, also referred to as "Athena" and "Eight" by other Cylons and humans alike.

9: "Seven of Nine" from Star Trek: Voyager, played by Jeri Ryan, again

Yeah, it's a stretch to put her on the list twice. But "nine" is literally in her name. If anyone has a better example, let me know!

10: [needed]

No idea where to even begin looking for this one. Help!

11: "Eleven" from Stranger Things played by Millie Bobby Brown

This is the example that started the whole project. "Eleven", a little girl with psychic powers does have a canonical name within the universe of the show: Jane Ives. But she literally chooses not to use it, instead deciding to go with the number tattooed on her arm by her kidnapper.

12: [needed]

I feel like twelve would be a great place to wrap this list up, if I could find a good example.

(Bonus)

13: "The Doctor" from Doctor Who, played by Jodie Whittaker

An immortal timelord from the planet Gallifrey, "The Doctor" is never named during any of his various incarnations. Instead, fans and sometimes even characters within the show, refer to each version of the doctor by number. Whittaker's version is Doctor number 13, the first time a woman was given the role by show runners.

I had this weird idea come to me late last night that there are so many female characters in film that are explicitly referred to, not by name, but by number, that it might be possible to count to, say, 20 or so. Here's what I found so far. Maybe mastodon can help fill in the gaps.

1/🧵

1: [needed]

I'm having trouble finding a female character referred to as "number one". There are plenty of male characters, such as Riker from Star Trek. But no women.

2: "Lt. Commander Susan Ivanova" from Babylon 5, played by Claudia Christian.

Consistently referred to by Commander John Sheridan on the show as his "number two". Later promoted to Commander, but still referred to this way.

3: "D'Anna Biers" from Battlestar Galactica, played by Lucy Lawless

One of twelve cylon models explicitly referred to by number in the show.