Notices by Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social), page 7

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King: i know those sci fi guys are a little odd but
King: if you ever want to read a prose version of a mildly confusing math problem
King: i mean bam they're your guys!
Barker:
Barker: yeah well
Barker: have fun with that

1
HP Lovecraft: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the mountains of madness
Lovecraft: it's about a scientific expedition to antarctica that finds a terrifying ancient evil
Clive Barker: is it penguins
Lovecraft:
Lovecraft: m-maybe

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Lovecraft: the important thing isn't the penguins
Lovecraft: the important thing is the mountains
Barker: ah yes those mountains of madness
Lovecraft: yes
Barker: the ones alluded to in your title
Lovecraft: yes
Barker: those mountains
Lovecraft: yes

2
Lovecraft: look it's not just penguins
Lovecraft: these penguins are really scary
Lovecraft: for one thing, they're really big
Barker: so emperor penguins
Lovecraft: no i
Lovecraft: you know what shut up

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Barker: "strange and disturbing paintings of nicholas roerich" huh
Poe: clive don't start
Barker: no no edgar tell me you don't want to hear this explanation
Barker: because i want to hear it
Barker: i think we all do
King: i'd kinda like to hear it
Barker: yeah i thought so

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Lovecraft: ok so these mountains
Lovecraft: they're not like ordinary mountains
Lovecraft: they're strange and sinister
Lovecraft: like the strange and disturbing paintings of Nicholas Roerich
King:
Koontz:
Poe:
Barker:

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Roerich: now we'll paint some happy little clouds
Roerich: Remember how free clouds are
Roerich: they just lay around in the sky all day long
Lovecraft: ghastly!

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Nicholas Roerich: so i'm just gonna paint a nice pink mountain here
Roerich: maybe put a happy little tree right there
Roerich: gotta give him a friend
Roerich: like I always say, 'everyone needs a friend'
Lovecraft: horrifying!

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Lovecraft: horrifying! look at those soft pastel hues!
Barker:
Lovecraft: the almost hypnotic sense of peace and tranquility!
Barker:
Lovecraft: a certain "asian" quality to those mountains
Barker: there it is

1
L Ron Hubbard: hey friends its me again, your old pal Honest Ron
Poe: what's your scam this time ron
Hubbard: i'm hurt, friend, hurt!
Hubbard: i'm just an honest merchant, a purveyor of quality goods, services, and occasional religions!

2
Poe: ron every time you come here you've got some new scam
Poe: we're not falling for it again
Poe: right guys?
King: that's right
Koontz: yeah!
Barker: we're not that stupid
Lovecraft: not this time ron!
Hubbard: well i just happen to have this machine that'll put a star on your belly

4
Hubbard: i'll demonstrate for ya
Hubbard: i just need a volunteer from the audience
Hubbard: you, sir!
Hubbard: now you you've never seen me before right?
Jack Parsons: uh yes that is correct
Poe: then how come his face is on the colander?
Hubbard:
Parsons:

3
Hubbard: are you feeling blue, friend? melancholy? down in the dumps?
Hubbard: [holding colander] listen friends i got the cure for what ails you
Poe: how does it work?
Hubbard: you just put it on your head and, bzzt, presto!
Hubbard: all your thetans are cleared out!

1
JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh joanne
Poe: you're back
Rowling: yesss i have a new harry potter TV sssseriesss that you are all obligated to watch by order of the king
Poe:
Lovecraft:
King:
Koontz:
Barker:
Barker: yeah how's that work?
Poe: clive

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Rowling: and then
Rowling: when imagination iss illegal
Rowling: when playing pretend is banned
Rowling: when whimsssy is prohibited
Rowling: the children will have to turn to the one form of entertainment ssstill legal!
Rowling: Hogwart'sss Legacy!!!

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[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: what newsss from america
Allison Bailey: great news dark lord!
Bailey: oklahoma is going to ban furries
Rowling: good, good-
Rowling: i mean wait
Rowling: what?

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Bailey: oh but this time
Bailey: this time will be different, dark lord!
Rowling: no it won't!
Rowling: not even americanss will fall for that litter box sscam!

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Rowling: foolsss!!! blundering nincompoopsss!!
Rowling: we've tried the furry moral panic before
Rowling: like literally 5 timesss
Rowling: that dog won't hunt!!

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Bailey: our terf deatheaters had so much success outlawing trans kids
Bailey: we thought we'd extend the moral panic to furries too
Bailey: this time, we can't fail!
Rowling: see that you don't!
Rowling: we must win the war against the limitless reaches of a child's imagination!!

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Poe: what? what's happening in oklahoma?
Boyett: oh haven't you heard?
Boyett: the good patriots of oklahoma are gonna make furries illegal