Notices by Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social), page 6

5
Rowling: it's a new harry potter ssstory
King: oh man! it's about time, i've been hoping for a new potter story for ages!
Rowling: itss about hermione going back in time to help grindelwald, who actually had sssome good points if you think about it

8
Rowling: oh also you know that thing where people kept criticizing me cuz technically grindelwald's "evil" plan was to prevent the holocaust?
Rowling: well good news
Rowling: i've rectified that little mistake

7
Rowling: i'm retconning grindelwald into a misundersstood idealisst
Rowling: who was only forced to make hard choicess because of the unreassonablenesss of decadent weimar society

10
King: actually joanne there's a lot of well-documented evidence
Barker: give it up steve
King: no no i can fix this
King: i'm sure if i just lay out the facts in a logical, well-reasoned manner-
Barker: oh god that's so cute
Barker: don't you just love him?
Poe: that's our steve

9
Rowling: like, why would the naziss target transs & queer people, traditionally the most powerful and widely accepted memberss of ssociety?
Rowling: would not the naziss, famouss for their love of diverssity, actually approve of them?
Rowling: i'm jusst asskin questions

12
Rowling: i don't undersstand you lot at all
Rowling: i come into your campfire, i make a sstatement that i really want to be true & you all refuse to accept it
Rowling: thiss issn't the way it works over with my terf deatheaters at all
Rowling: they love accepting things i ssay!

11
King: so you see the nazi book burning of the institute for sexualwissenschaft-
Rowling: nope
Rowling: didn't happen
King:
King: well it kinda did, see, as i was saying-
Rowling: thiss iss missogyny

14
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers
Shelley: i got here late wot's going on?
Barker: joanne is doing holocaust denial
Rowling: EXCUSE ME it'ss only holocausst denial if you quesstion the murder of jews
Rowling: tho now that i think about it i do have some questionss

13
Rowling: it'ss actually really missogynisstic that you all refusse to accept what i'm ssaying asss truth
Rowling: even though you all know how badly i want it to be true
King: but joanne, it isn't true-
Rowling: ssave it for court ssteve!

15
Rowling: like, would they not have ussed their goblin magic to essscape?
Lovecraft: ya know, she makes a good point
Sonia Greene: i'm right here howard
Lovecraft:
Greene: see, this is why i don't talk much

6
Joyce: look, sure, maybe i was reading underage noncon harry potter erotic fan fiction in public
Joyce: but is that REALLY any worse than trans people existing in public?
Joyce: think about it

5
Rowling:
Joyce:
Rowling:
Joyce:
Joyce: i can explain this
Joyce: it's not at all weird when i read this in public!

4
Allison Bailey: [spaghetti falls out of briefcase]
Bailey: oh god oh god everyone's looking at me
Bailey: if only there was some kind of diversion
Helen Joyce: [harry potter erotic fanfiction falls out of sleeve]
Bailey: ah yes this will do nicely

2
Rowling: they're making a new harry potter ssseriessss
Rowling: people are hungry for more about the boy wizard!
Joyce: ravenously hungry!!
Joyce: god yes please more harry potter!
Joyce: GOD i'm so hot for more harry potter content
Joyce: i need it in my body now!!!
Rowling:

1
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i have excellent newsss
Allison Bailey: yes! yes!
Julie Bindel: yes! tell us more dark lord
Helen Joyce: yes tell us!
Rowling: excellent...
Rowling: harry potter related news!
Bailey:
Bindel:
Joyce: YES!!

3
Rowling:
Joyce:
Rowling:
Joyce: i mean um
Joyce: [mopping brow] boy is it hot in here or what?
Joyce: [mopping sternum] is anyone else hot?
Rowling:
Rowling: anyway

1
Stephen King: so i'm gonna go over to space coven tonight to tell a story
Clive Barker: what, the sci fi nerds? good luck with that
King: oh they're not so bad once you get to know them, clive
Barker: i do not intend to know nerds

3
Barker: oh steve
Barker: you can't expect me to swallow that whopper
King: it's true! edgar, tell him
Poe: steve's right, clive. she really did
Barker:
Barker: well now i just don't know what to believe

2
King: look, clive, you know mary goes over to the sci fi campfire sometimes
Barker: i do not believe it
King: it's true! she invented sci fi, you know
Barker: mary shelley? OUR mary shelley? the queen witch?
Barker: she invented being a nerd?

5
King: you know, clive a lot of science fiction actually deals with important issues in today's society?
King: they really make you think
[at space coven]
Robert Heinlein: so once we space-stead Pinochet's Gulch on an asteroid, we'll be free from the tyranny of age of consent laws