Content Warning: Needles, and drug related medical stuff (panic attack), pain through medical actionsMy Stats for Today
Water intake: 3 (glasses, one tea)
My Notes for Today
05:47 (written afterwards) The schedule said 6 AM! They came at this ungodly hour to connect me with cables, hahaha.
12:00 Oh man, it's been a long day so far. Many appointments, but I've sort of gotten used to it? I'm glad I'll be out in just two nights (!!), although I don't hate it here, I am just happy to see my friends and family again :)
Yesterday, during my last wellbeing, I had a much longer conversation with an assistant who also happened to be a psychologist. She told me more about the offer from Roche and what it was about. There were a lot of misunderstandings and I'll have another conversation with my physician about it. I have not changed my mind, I just want to be sure about what is going on. Additionally, apparently I can request a meeting with him at any time (even by phone) due to “informed consent”. If there's something I don't understand, it's his job to make it clear to me, otherwise I'd have legitimate reasons to leave.
16:56 When signing up for this study I told the assistants doing the screening I “never took any drugs”, probably referring to alcohol. They were not happy that during the study they found out that I did try weed in the form of edibles a year ago. However, they noticed that I was honest the moment I was asked during the study, or when specific questions regarding weed came up, hence it became obvious that I didn't try to deliberately hide something.
09:17 Wow, I haven't really had an appointment up until now / in three minutes. It's gonna be a nice day with little appointments, unlike yesterday. The worst is over, no more lumbar punctures and only two times of a blood sample being taken. My time here is almost up, as tomorrow I'll leave. Today is my last full day here in Groningen, I better enjoy it!
09:37 Only three minutes until I will never have to wear a long term ECG device ever again. I am so happy about this information.
11:18 I feel like I should clarify one thing: whenever blood is taken or during the lumbar puncture, I don't talk about Mastodon because I'm so obsessed with it (I mean, that too) but rather because it's a super complicated thing that I have to concentrate on and explaining it takes my attention away from the 10cm long needle deep in my back haha. Same with syringes and blood taking! When I'm done talking about Mastodon, the procedure is usually done too.
12:19 Welp, I'm out. It was quicker than I expected, and I forgot my charger there (no worries, I'll be back in just two days), but... wow, it's actually over. I haven't fully had the time to comprehend it by now. The morning I “slept in” until 8:15, the assistants “looked the other way” for breakfast (I could actually eat a yogurt) and all the tests went over swiftly. Except for the blood sample, that, for some reason, was worse than ever, but who cares! It's over! Actually over. I cannot believe that the time went by so quickly.
To be fair, I quite liked the environment. Everything was taken care of for you! You'd get food 6 times a day, had a washing machine and dryer, there'd be events organized for you (bowling, walking outside, massages...), there are rooms for recreational activities (board / card games, video games, watching TV, even a karaoke machine). It'd be nice for such facilities to just exist as a public service, not for profit making, but it's really nice regardless!
12:24 As I was about to finish that last thought, the bus arrived in Groningen. The bus driver stepped outside and said “You'll need a passport with you, due to the uhh, controls”. Then I remembered: the “progressive” German government (Liberals, Greens, Social Democrats) has for the first time since Covid enacted border patrols in order to “stop illegal migration”.
A Dutch citizen was just told that she couldn't come with us on the bus ride as her national ID wouldn't suffice Germany's border patrol. This is among the most ridiculous events in Germany's modern political history, and the biggest indicator for our nations shift to the far right. The fascist AfD has completely annexed any political narrative and made their major talking points the only political talking points. As their rise to power becomes more inevitable by the day, every opportunist political party begins the race to the right, always trying to one up the others in how much of the AfD's proposals they can implement in the hopes of “winning back” some of the far right voters.
Implementing AfD proposals so that the AfD doesn't do it has to be among the most mindless political actions.
13:18 German border patrol / police is getting mad at a guy for only having his German driver's license. An elderly Dutch woman was also asked to leave the bus. Bus leaves.
My Trip Home
2024.09.21 | Trip from ICON --------------🌱🚂🚄🚝🚇🌲------------- ╔═════[🇳🇱Groningen🇳🇱]════ ║ ╠═🔴╡12:30 Groningen ╠═🟢╡13:25 Leer (Ostfriesland) ╠═🚍╡Bus 72008 68 km ║ ╠═════════Leer════════ ║ ╠═🔴╡14:42 Leer (Ostfriesland) ╠═🟢╡16:28 Verden ╠═🚍╡IC 2433 135 km ║ ╚══════[🇩🇪Verden🇩🇪]═════
Entschuldigt das fehlende Update von Gestern! Es ist sehr spät geworden und Ich wollte nach 22:00 Uhr eigentlich nur noch schlafen :blobcatgooglyholdingitsheadinitshands:
Wir haben es tatsächlich geschafft! Wir haben noch keinen echten Transfer der Datenbank gemacht, jedoch haben wir mit einer Kopie der Datenbank eine erfolgreiche Migration ohne Datenverlust durchgeführt.
Alles was wir heute machen müssen ist es diese Schritte zu wiederholen währenddessen das troet.cafe heruntergefahren bleibt und zum Schluss alles auf den neuen Datenbank-Server umzustellen!
Der gestrige Tag war voll mit falschen Fehlermeldungen, Trugschlüssen, und ein Tappen im Dunkeln! Wir haben um die 50 unterschiedliche Methoden probiert und hätten noch viel mehr tun können. Letztendlich alle Fehlermeldungen an der Datenbank zu verstehen, diese in jedem Fall auf ihre Besonderheit runterzubrechen, und dann zu verstehen wo der Fehler wirklich ist, hat uns zum „Erfolg” gebracht! Auch wenn Martin bereits sehr glücklich war gibt es noch keinen Grund zu feiern, erst wenn wir das ganze in Echt durchgeführt haben!
Ein Beispiel eines solchen Trugschlusses war die unterschiedliche Größe der Datenbank nach dem Importieren. Auf troet.cafe ist die Datenbank 99GB, auf unserem Server war sie nur 33GB, dabei hatte dies einen anderen Grund. Wir dachten viele Daten waren verloren und versuchten einen Fehler zu finden wo gar keiner war! Im Nachhinein realisierten wir dann, dass wir die Lösung schon lange hatten.
Die Datenbanksoftware belügte uns auch zwischenzeitlich über die Anzahl der gespeicherten Beiträge! Das war echt witzig.
Eine vollständige Erklärung der zwei Fehler wird es demnächst geben — fürs erste ist hier der exakte Schritt für Schritt Weg, den Ich aus meinem ~40.000 Zeichen Protokoll des gestrigen Tages, herausgearbeitet habe, als das was wir tatsächlich mache müssen:
1. Troet.Cafe herunterfahren
2. Datenbank-Dump erstellen und Server offline lassen.
3. Datenbank-Schema-Clear-Text-Dump erstellen und Server offline lassen.
4. Beides auf neuen Server übertragen auf dem eine psql Datenbank der Version 15.7 eingerichtet ist.
5. Das clear-text Datenbank-Schema so editieren, dass „CREATE UNIQUE INDEX [...]” für index_preview_cards_on_url auskommentiert ist.
6. Das clear-text Datenbank-Schema importieren mit folgenden Befehl:
(In der Zukunft nach jedem Datenbank-Update den REINDEX Befehl aus Punkt 9 verwenden um dieses Problem zu vermeiden.)
13. Troet.Cafe wieder hochfahren und alles läuft wie vorher nur besser und auf einer neuen Version!
Dies ist ein klarer Schritt für Schritt Weg wie wir die Datenbank heute retten — wenn diese Hürde überwunden ist dann wird jedes Update und jede Migration in der Zukunft extrem einfach!
Wir werden jetzt das troet.cafe herunterfahren! Postet bitte heute keine Lebensnotwendigen Informationen, denn es kann sein das wir wieder zurückgehen müssen falls doch etwas schief läuft!
Wenn troet.cafe wieder online geht tobt herum und meldet alle Fehler (falls welche auftreten) denn dann haben wir noch die Möglichkeit alles rückgängig zu machen. Wir führen jetzt einen smoke test durch! :blobcatmeltlove:
Es läuft alles super. Alle Daten sind bisher perfekt übertragen worden. Unser Plan geht also auf — ein letzter Fix wird angestrebt und die alten Server auf die neue Datenbank umgestellt! Das schwierigste ist (glaube Ich) geschafft!
Ach, wäre es nur so geblieben! Wir haben alles so grandios lösen können, doch das Problem das wir Gestern noch als so leicht angesehen haben stellte sich heute als eine Meisterleistung heraus:
Wir haben ~19.000.000 Einträge für link-previews (kleine Vorschau-Texte und Bilder wenn man einen Link zu einem Beitrag einfügt) in einer Tabelle der Datenbank, für diese ein Index zu erstellen ist ab v12 von Postgresql nicht mehr möglich dank einer Reduzierung der maximalen Indexgröße. Mastodon hat einen maintenance Task eingebaut welcher dieses Problem über das Entfernen duplizierter Einträge lösen soll, doch...
Aus irgendeinem uns nicht erklärlichen Grund gibt sich die Datenbank als eine höhere Version aus. Die Datenbank behauptet selbst sie benutzt ein Schema welches erst bei Mastodon 4.2.0 angewandt wurde (wir sind auf 4.1.15), jedoch schauen wir manuell nach besitzt die Datenbank einige Tabellen nicht welche sie bei dieser Version bereits haben sollte. Sie gibt sich als etwas aus das sie nicht ist. Die Maintenance-Skripte der alten Mastodon-Version, welche offiziell nicht für die identifizierte Version gemacht sind, funktionieren nicht.
Wir testen einen der vielen troet.cafe Server und machen dort (ohne das die Instanz wieder online geht) einen Upgrade-Versuch auf 4.2.0. Dort sollten die Maintenance-Skripte funktionieren, es kann jedoch sein das sie es nicht tun.
All das um einen Index zu erzeugen der viel zu groß geworden ist! Alle Daten, Bilder, Accounts, Passwörter usw. sind perfekt, reibungslos und sicher übertragen, das, so dachten wir Gestern, war die schwere Aufgabe. Doch die kleine Vorschau der Webseite wenn man einen Link beifügt, diese fehlt.
Nein, wir können sie leider nicht einfach weglassen, auch wenn der Datensatz irrelevant ist funktioniert Mastodon wahrscheinlich nicht ohne sie.
Ich bin der festen Überzeugung das wir heute eine Lösung finden, jedoch hatte Ich nach Gestern eigentlich gedacht die Lösung sei schon längst in unseren Händen!
Das troet.cafe hält stand, keine Sorge! :blobcatmeltlove:
PS: Selbst wenn alles den Bach runtergehen würde ist nichts verloren. Wir haben tausendfach Backups und würden den Betrieb einfach so weitermachen wie zuvor. Wir sind schonmal definitiv schlauer geworden, nur noch nicht schlau genug.
Okay, wow. Wir haben es geschafft. Ich würde Lügen wenn Ich sage das Ich alles verstehe was unsere nun große Gruppe an Helfenden herausgefunden hat, doch die Datenbank ist hergestellt, das Troet.Cafe auf die neuste Version von 4.2.8 ge-updated und wir machen soeben die finalen Tests um alles wieder hochzufahren. Heute Abend bricht ein neues Zeitalter für troet.cafe an!
Troet.Cafe ist online auf der neusten Version (4.2.8). Schaut alle ob es irgendwo Probleme gibt! Wenn irgendwas nicht läuft, meldet es sofort - dies ist ein smoke test!
Nun, nachdem wir die größte Aufgabe, nämlich das Beheben aller Fehler auf der Plattform troet.cafe, aber auch das Beheben aller Fehler in dessen Datenbank, bestritten und gelöst haben, kamen wenige Nachrichten unsererseits!
Seither haben wir muenchen.social und troet.cafe auf den neusten Sicherheitsversionen gehalten, doch demnächst muss auch muenchen.social das große Versionsupdate durchmachen. Da wir nun unfassbare Expertise zum Mastodon-Datenbank-Schema haben, sollte dies aber nicht zu schwierig sein (solange die Fehler der Datenbank und Plattform ähnliche sind).
Wir planen mit dem übernächsten Wochenende, also den 10. und 11. August. Erwartet an dem Tag also ein paar Downtimes auf muenchen.social. Genaueres dazu folgt aber noch!
Vor diesem Datum kommt noch etwas sehr großes an dem wir lange für euch gearbeitet haben, seid daher gespannt!
Nach langer, langer Pause kommt nun die Überraschung! Für sehr Tech-Interessierte haben wir den gesamten Prozess der Rettung (der Datenbank) von troet.cafe in diesen gewaltigen Blog getan:
08:55 Transfer bloodtubes 09:10 Breakfast 09:40 Dose (RO7268489 or placebo) 09:40 Dose check 09.40 Water fast (Start) 11:40 Water fast (Stop) 11:40 Moming snack 13:10 Lunch 15:30 Afternoon snack 18:30 Dinner 19:00 Wellbeing 21:30 Evening snack
My Stats for Today
Water intake: 6 glasses (three tea, one compound)
My Notes for Today
10:50 (written afterwards) A number from the Netherlands began calling me, I panicked for a second, then accepted the phone call. It was the head physician asking me to write yet another E-Mail with my experiences of the past days, because he'd wish to present them to the Sponsor (Roche) with whom he had a meeting about an hour after the call. However, right after hanging up that conversation, he calls again, I accept the call and turns out he didn't consciously try to call me again, as I was just hearing background noise, most likely because his telephone was in his pocket.
Regardless, I've written the following in that E-Mail:
Dear▯▯▯▯▯ ▯▯▯▯, you asked me to describe my experience with the compound in the past couple of days, I will do so in the following E-Mail:
The first time I took the compound, I had mild (10%) symptoms that were similar to Marijuana for about three hours. As I didn't have much to concentrate on, I also let loose, just relaxed, accepted and expected side effects. However, I always felt like I was in control and could behave normally if I concentrate on doing so!
The following days (compound days 2-4), I felt nothing. No side effect, no difference in attention span, or cognitive side effects (I had work meetings, wrote long E-Mails, call people and organize things, just like without the compound).
On day 5 I had a panic attack when the effects suddenly set in, not even an hour earlier I had a work meeting that went flawlessly. As described previously, I was having the exact same panic attack as when I first took weed (edibles, ate a bit too much) over a year ago. Hence, I am prone to such panic attacks caused by the sudden feeling of disorientation or loss of control, however, with the knowledge of what I can expect as a side effect to happen, both with the weed over a year ago and the compound in this study, I never had a panic attack again. I am sure that if I had been a little more attentive or was more aware of the fact that the effects might settle in later, it could've been easily prevented. Since the effects lessened from day 1 to the morning of day 5, I thought I'd never experience any symptoms anymore, if I hadn't been in that mindset and more educated about this medicine, I am sure the panic attack would not have happened.
Content Warning: Needles, and drug related medical stuff (panic attacks)
10:50 (Continuation of the E-Mail)
Ever since compound day 5, however (today is compound day 11), I have had lessened to no symptoms. The symptoms were around 10-30% as strong as during my one state on day 5, and instead of them lasting longer, the high phases are only 2-3 hours. The fact these effects lessen may have been due to me now drinking more, but also because I could psychologically deal with and prepare for the symptoms. On day 5, I didn't know what was going on, now I don't stress out if I may feel disoriented for a short time. In the morning, especially before, or a few hours after, the dosing at 09:40, I feel as if there has been no effect at all. Around the afternoon (12:30 - 15:30), I may experience the height of the compound, but have since always managed to still do work or complex tasks during this phase.
The only thing that I notice with taking the compound today, is mostly when I concentrate on a task so much that when I look away, I become disoriented for a second, and also my mind wanders off and loses track more easily. However, I also realized that every day since day 5, the severity of these effects became less and less, meaning I might become accustomed to this state, or am able to learn how to deal with it better. I don't feel like the side effects lessen (below 5-20%), but I can find ways to handle them better. Right now is a good example of that. It's been two hours since taking the compound, slight effects settle in, I notice them if I concentrate on them, but if I simply acknowledge that something about my state of mind has changed, I can still continue to focus on writing this E-Mail.
Overall, the only side effects of this drug were sometimes weed-like symptoms, but no pain, no severe problems, no sleep deprivation, and it doesn't even taste bad. I've had a very good experience both with the compound and at ICON for the past weeks.
Yours sincerely, Erik Uden Participant with the compound RO7268489
(sent 11:51)
13:31 (written afterwards) Some random Belgian number called me and hung up the moment I picked off.
15:00 (written afterwards) I went outside and walked for an hour! It was very refreshing.
18:25 (written afterwards) The head physician came to me and talked about how the meeting went with the sponsor. I was still in a half-sleep, as I tried to recuperate some sleep I didn't get last night due to staying up so late to finish some work. He told me that the Sponsor (Roche) has decided to no longer give me the compound RO7268489, as they are worried about my wellbeing. I had no say in the matter, as you could see, my E-Mail was even quite optimistic about my future experience with this drug. However, they saw too many risks in it, and would like for me to stop. Especially because they were worried about possible withdrawal symptoms. Hence, the new plan is to have me stay at ICON until the 21st, do all the blood and CSF samples as the schedule says, but never take any of that medicine again. My study has just been converted to a “withdrawal study”. I think that will be very interesting.
This blog is obviously not over, I'll document everything until the last ambulatory visit in late November! However, it may be that the fun part has just ended, or perhaps started... We will see!
08:55 Transfer bloodtubes 9:10 Breakfast (Start) 9:40 Dose (RO7268489 or placebo) 9:40 Dose check 9:40 Water fast (Start) 11:40 Water fast (Stop) 11:40 Morning snack 13:10 Lunch 15:30 Afternoon snack 18:30 Dinner 19:00 Wellbeing 21:30 Evening snack
My Stats for Today
Muscle pain ended around 07:15 No more dizziness / disorientation ~10:00
My Notes for Today
08:55 (written afterwards) Taking blood was a lot easier today, especially with their new butterfly needles that snap back when done. It feels a lot more painless, like ripping a bandaid off.
14:00 (written afterwards) I had the first massage of my life. They offer one for our group here. Despite the lumbar puncture being long over, my back still tingled funny when I was massaged. I am not afraid of tomorrow's last lumbar puncture, rather I am anxious. Anxious of something happening the last time? Another roll of the dice, perhaps? Or anxious to go through the entire back pain, possibly headaches, whilst on withdrawal of an unknown compound. I will be so glad when this is over, though.
17:47 I'll write an update about what's going on later today! Weird things occurring...
18:01 Originally I wrote the following, I will write a better, more informed text about what occurred after it.
The head physician was asked by the sponsor (Roche) to send me to a psychiatry. I surmised that their goal is to find something wrong with me in order to dismiss the panic attack, as I'm the first patient that had such a thing at this dose, hence trying to get it off the list of side-effects the sponsor now have to put on their medicine. I felt like the head physician insinuated that too.
However, I decided against going into a psychiatry on my own free will, as it not only doesn't fit into my schedule, but I'll also not aid this potential fudging. Going to the psychiatry here (*next to being a ton of paperwork*) would also lead to them getting access to a lot of my medical documents, which Roche may go through to find whether there's some reason to dismiss me.
:blank: :blank:
17:30 (written afterwards) I was playing with my study- (and also room-) mates a version of rummy that I wasn't accustomed to, but learned during the study. The head physician came to the room and asked to speak me. I got up and walked to his room. He spoke to me in half-Dutch, half-English sentences, leaving lots of meaning up to interpretation. What I did understand as part of this conversation was the following:
“Hey Erik, I received an E-Mail / was in a meeting with the study's sponsor. They are concerned for your health and would want for you to go to a psychiatry. Now, from my perspective you are healthy and fine, which is what I told the sponsor. They will want to ask you for your consent to go to a psychiatry.”
What this meant wasn't explained further. Would I go to a psychiatry for one talk, would I have to stay there for another week? What am I consenting to?
He continued talking: “They want to see how you are, because no one in your group had strong symptoms like you. They want to see if you're okay mentally and would, through the psychiatry, request your medical history.”
I am not sure if this was the “consenting” he was referring to. Again, I am not only just recalling this information written 00:10 the next day, but the English was also hard to understand.
Admin of @MastodonDE | https://mastodon.deMitgründer von @AnneFrankInNorden#KnackigePfirsiche 🍑 #CrunchyPeachesMember of the FediverseDecentralize or Die! #SmallWebOpen Source is a Human Right!Socialize the Social Network for the Sake of All!Born at 375.64 ppm | :hehim::erihm: | tfrFormer Account: @Erik