Notices by jackdaw, dark normal (jackdaw_ruiz@normal.style)

the way my dear sweet mother sends me random texts like this does make me feel like I've descended from a proud lineage of posters, and simply had the misfortune to be born at the advent of posting.

reading the list of celebrities that lost homes to the fires and booing or cheering the precisely correct amount at each. a crowd has gathered around me to marvel at the exacting moral calculus I am effortlessly demonstrating. I haven't gotten one wrong yet.

oh thank god a coherent digestion of that scarcely readable shit from the other day. gotta check that out in a bit. 😌

within a week of those photos of Mitch McConnell looking all fucked up, apparently Nancy Pelosi fell over and is now in the hospital, because when you're over 80 years-old falling over has like a 1/4 chance of ending you right there.

thank god the incoming president, at a spry 78 years-old, is gonna bring some comparatively young blood to government leadership!

@starwall

okay but are there any images with green line overlays indicating how alpha or beta his posture was during the shooting???

@esvrld @starwall

emerging from behind a car and calmly handing you this image before riding off on a rental scooter.

i predict the United States will come up to the precipice of building high speed rail for transportation, and then at the last minute it will get scrapped in favor of a federal program promoting the "market based solution" of giving everyone a voucher for $80 off attending clown college.

that way we all learn how to fit more passengers into cars, and the problem is solved.

@Aleums @Thomas

now, see i don't agree with that policy.

i mean i think it's fine if 18 year-olds want to drink but i think nobody should sell them alcohol because it teaches creative problem solving. but perhaps that's a topic for another thread and another day.

@Thomas

i have heard that zoomers don't go to bars, and when they do they don't understand the concept of a tab and they close out after every single round, over and over again.

@ItsMorgan @FirstProgenitor

remember that time Mika was running in a hurry, got clocked on the head by an incense censor, and woke up isikaie'd into a Catholic boarding school in 1800s Seville, Spain?

ma'am-afest destiny. ladies are doing it* for themselves!

* settler colonialism.

ANOTHER one my novelty instances???

i wanted to dredge up some 2018 funny stuff but mastodon.social is broken at the moment. the terrible trajectory of this software getting worse is expressly rooted in making it more accommodating for the operation of fuck-you dreadnaught instances like .social and it doesn't even fucking work.

do the recent folks from tumblr even know that because of how the fediverse is structured, everything they ever post will live in perpetuity in Len Boobar's basement?

@dirt @Aleums

I believe this is correct.

watching my phone screen turn dull orange for night mode at 4:30 p.m. 🙃

I just saw the commercial where RFK jr. is punching the rubber ball elastic banded to his head and then turning to the camera like "wow this little punching ball is a great Christmas gift!" and I am realizing we are in store for levels of Verhoevenfication previously undreamed of.

💙 🤎 🤍 📝

if you are in or near Portland, and you'd like guidance on navigating the process to get your gender marker updated or name changed, there is a clinic on Nov 15 at the Q Center.

Outlaw (a long running club/activist group for gay law students at Lewis & Clark Law School) will have folks on deck to assist and demystify what might at first seem like dauntingly opaque paperwork and civil procedure.

yes, YES! let the gears of this infernal machine spin and whirr to life again!!

brujeria going back on tour next year? huh. sure, whatever. why not.