Notices by jackdaw, dark normal (jackdaw_ruiz@normal.style)

those screencaps of Elon Musk talking about how he's the second most death threat'd man in America are so fucking funny given that he's conversing with a dipshit replygal that made awful jokes in his menchies until he met her for sex. it makes me optimistic that his opsec is perhaps sufficiently bad enough for additional good & funny things to occur.

these little AI synopses of customer reviews on websites now are wonderful. I can look at a television model and see that people love the crisp vibrant colorful moving images displayed on the screen, but they don't like when the TV has problems or technical issues. I honestly dunno how I ever shopped without this.

catch me physically standing right in front of this bottle with a label I don't understand and insisting it's an AI generated image.

i understand the purpose of a massive PR firm publishing an annual report like this. it illustrates a momentum where the global population is increasingly distrustful & frothing mad at governments, the media, NGOs, etc... so naturally, in that fraught environment, there is a greater premium on trusting your business to a PR firm for help navigating.

but it's difficult to read this and not cheer on every page. like fuck yeah 53% of the youth support "hostile activism."

https://www.edelman.com/sites/g/files/aatuss191/files/2025-01/2025%20Edelman%20Trust%20Barometer_Final.pdf

the way my dear sweet mother sends me random texts like this does make me feel like I've descended from a proud lineage of posters, and simply had the misfortune to be born at the advent of posting.

reading the list of celebrities that lost homes to the fires and booing or cheering the precisely correct amount at each. a crowd has gathered around me to marvel at the exacting moral calculus I am effortlessly demonstrating. I haven't gotten one wrong yet.

oh thank god a coherent digestion of that scarcely readable shit from the other day. gotta check that out in a bit. 😌

within a week of those photos of Mitch McConnell looking all fucked up, apparently Nancy Pelosi fell over and is now in the hospital, because when you're over 80 years-old falling over has like a 1/4 chance of ending you right there.

thank god the incoming president, at a spry 78 years-old, is gonna bring some comparatively young blood to government leadership!

@starwall

okay but are there any images with green line overlays indicating how alpha or beta his posture was during the shooting???

@esvrld @starwall

emerging from behind a car and calmly handing you this image before riding off on a rental scooter.

i predict the United States will come up to the precipice of building high speed rail for transportation, and then at the last minute it will get scrapped in favor of a federal program promoting the "market based solution" of giving everyone a voucher for $80 off attending clown college.

that way we all learn how to fit more passengers into cars, and the problem is solved.

@Aleums @Thomas

now, see i don't agree with that policy.

i mean i think it's fine if 18 year-olds want to drink but i think nobody should sell them alcohol because it teaches creative problem solving. but perhaps that's a topic for another thread and another day.

@Thomas

i have heard that zoomers don't go to bars, and when they do they don't understand the concept of a tab and they close out after every single round, over and over again.

@ItsMorgan @FirstProgenitor

remember that time Mika was running in a hurry, got clocked on the head by an incense censor, and woke up isikaie'd into a Catholic boarding school in 1800s Seville, Spain?

ma'am-afest destiny. ladies are doing it* for themselves!

* settler colonialism.

ANOTHER one my novelty instances???

i wanted to dredge up some 2018 funny stuff but mastodon.social is broken at the moment. the terrible trajectory of this software getting worse is expressly rooted in making it more accommodating for the operation of fuck-you dreadnaught instances like .social and it doesn't even fucking work.

do the recent folks from tumblr even know that because of how the fediverse is structured, everything they ever post will live in perpetuity in Len Boobar's basement?

@dirt @Aleums

I believe this is correct.

watching my phone screen turn dull orange for night mode at 4:30 p.m. 🙃