Had an amazing night at the tiki bar. Why does every guy that talks to me want to hug me or touch my back when they leave?
Notices by Emma🏳️⚧️ (emmalilian@eldritch.cafe)
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Emma🏳️⚧️ (emmalilian@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Saturday, 17-Aug-2024 10:45:34 JST Emma🏳️⚧️ -
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Emma🏳️⚧️ (emmalilian@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Saturday, 06-Jul-2024 10:26:01 JST Emma🏳️⚧️ Had my first facial today, which was an hour and 45 minutes of magic. I guess my skin and face look great now too according to others, but I was happy enough for the experience (which was the most relaxing thing I’ve ever had).
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Emma🏳️⚧️ (emmalilian@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Sunday, 01-Oct-2023 06:58:21 JST Emma🏳️⚧️ I’m way too addicted to gel manicures now. Figured since I’m off this week I can have a fun color and dab in some nail art.
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Emma🏳️⚧️ (emmalilian@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Sunday, 17-Sep-2023 06:28:16 JST Emma🏳️⚧️ New nails with gel polish! Really enjoying actually getting self-care at nail salons.
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Emma🏳️⚧️ (emmalilian@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Thursday, 15-Jun-2023 19:44:35 JST Emma🏳️⚧️ All things considered, my pipeline for going from men’s tennis shoes to women’s tennis shoes, to wearing nearly exclusively flats and points was incredibly short.
Guess it’s amazing how good quality shoes can easily change your opinion on things.
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Emma🏳️⚧️ (emmalilian@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Sunday, 11-Jun-2023 19:50:40 JST Emma🏳️⚧️ I know I tend to to complain about dysphoria and imposter syndrome and other things here on occasion. But dammit, I truly love who I am now, where I’ve gone and where I’m going.
Overused, but it’s so damn magical. Seeing glimpses of myself more and more. Looking at my (incredibly imperfect) body and seeing things I like where before there was nothing. The intense and amazing feelings that can be illicited from it. Unbelievable.
During the weekends, I like to just spend time in bed with wifey. Yeah.. sure sometimes we fool around, but a lot of times we just lay next to each other, stare, hold hands… just enjoy life. And I never did that before. And I realize because I have peace with myself. I am truly becoming who I always was meant to be, and that means I can focus less on coping, and more on loving and living.
It’s so crazy to live each day and just… enjoy it. I wasted so much of my life just… figuring out ways to kill time to the next milestone where I prayed I would achieve some happiness. I lost so much time. But no more. Every day is special because it’s worth being in the moment.
I hope we can all get to this point somehow. And if there’s something I can do to help, I will do what I can. 💙
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Emma🏳️⚧️ (emmalilian@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 01:49:49 JST Emma🏳️⚧️ @roadriverrail @aprilkirby No I completely agree. Which is kinda way I could never get through the later seasons.z
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Emma🏳️⚧️ (emmalilian@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Saturday, 29-Apr-2023 00:28:52 JST Emma🏳️⚧️ @roadriverrail @aprilkirby 😳 Get out of my journal.
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Emma🏳️⚧️ (emmalilian@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Wednesday, 12-Apr-2023 23:47:27 JST Emma🏳️⚧️ @roadriverrail Well-intentioned condescension is an interesting one. Not sure if I thought if that but makes a lot of sense to me. I might attribute that to some interactions.
Lately it feels like almost all of them are different, and that can’t be due to something like that. And honestly I love it. It’s all I ever wanted.
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Emma🏳️⚧️ (emmalilian@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Wednesday, 12-Apr-2023 22:06:47 JST Emma🏳️⚧️ Something I was thinking back on from yesterday which I’m now realizing has been a thing is the fact that when I’m out in public, other women mostly seem to be far more vocal and friendly with me.
Example - yesterday when I was getting my badge the woman helping me struck up a conversation about random stuff with me as we waited for the badge to print. She also offered me a mirror and let me look at the photo after she took it. We started talking about affirmations and then her coworker in the next cubicle over randomly started asking me about them too…
Another example - wifey and I were out drinking a few weeks ago and she left to get food. When I was by myself the bartender came by to get empty glasses and she randomly started talking to me about her daughter and how much she loved the flavor I was drinking.
Even though I know I’ve always been perceived as a non threatening male pre transition, I was never treated with such friendliness.
Is this like a thing? I mean, maybe I passed at the bar but the badge lady saw my deadname… maybe I looked passing and that was enough for her to be friendly?
I know the female friends I had pre-coming out have become far more closer and friendlier with me post-transition, but it’s the interaction with strangers that I’m focusing on. Or maybe I just need to go back to sleep.