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Two years ago this week, I sent out my all-hands email to all 90 of my employees coming out.

It was a culmination of a four month communication plan into coming out. In February I told my closest coworker and friend before I even started my name change. In March I told another close coworker and one of subordinate supervisors (who was one of my biggest supporters before he tragically passed away in a car accident later that year).

In late March I submitted my name change and in April I told my supervisor, who was incredibly supportive. I also told our command chief of staff, who invited me to breakfast one day and expressed his admiration for me.

During this timeframe I started writing some LinkedIn articles to my peers discussing tips and tricks for disseminating significant personal events to the workplace and what my ideal methodology would be (all hypothetically, of course).

Once I got my court order back in May, I sent out a group email to all my subordinate supervisors letting them know it was a “thing” and that I would eventually be notifying everyone. At the same time I submitted my personnel name change request to HR.

While I waited for that to process, I scheduled meetings with my commanding officer and senior civilian and had separate one-on-ones with them. Both were supportive.

As soon as I finished the last senior meeting, I sent out my coming out email to my entire department, which was then forwarded to the other senior leaders in our 3000+ person command. I also published one last article on LinkedIn tying all my previous ones together and coming out online professionally. I didn’t mean for this to happen during Pride Month, but it happened all the same.

The email itself was heartfelt but succinct. At this point it was the third or fourth version of this email I’d sent and it morphed over time as almost an apologetic message to one that was more matter of fact but still offering to engage in a learning experience for any that wanted to.

Two years later I still can’t believe I bared my soul in that way. That I just… basically transformed in public. I still remember the large number of supportive emails (and the one negative, but I digress).

The next day my business wardrobe changed from the loose crew neck swestshirts and androgynous slacks to a blouse and skirt complete with more visible makeup. For the first time, I felt free and me at work.

Two years later… and I’m just me. I’m a better employee, a better manager, and an all around better person. Every day I feel more comfortable with myself… to the point where I’m proud of what I accomplish.

I wish the situation at work was better. I wish I didn’t have to effectively hide who I am now, and I hate how my trans existence is taboo. But, notwithstanding that, I’m still supported, I’m still desired, and I still have a job to do. And at the end of the day, I’m treated like the woman I know I am.

Crazy how all this happened in just two years.

(FYI if anyone finds themselves in a similar situation, I have no problem sharing my email if you DM me)

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