Notices by Nicola Helle 😈🏳️‍⚧️😈 (nicolaelle@chaosfem.tw)

@bsletten And I ponder the irony that the best poutine shop in my town closed for good on Saturday...

Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror… loved what I saw… and smiled.

Everyone should have the chance to wake up, look in the mirror, and love who they are. It took me close to half a century to get to this point; at least I have seen this day.

:QueerCatHeart_Trans:

#trans

I’ve known a lot of trans people over the years. Living as trans pre-transition fucks with a person’s self esteem and will to live. Transitioning fixes some of that, but not everything - and the scars from that will definitely linger. Just your daily reminder that you are far more amazing and incredible than you realize, and there are reasons for that.

(Also, be kind to yourself.)

:QueerCatHeart_Trans:

#trans #transgender

Wow. I’ve never been cursed by a fortune cookie before.

@roadriverrail Oh, that sounds so cute!

And Kintsugi is so representative of us. We break, only to reform ourselves far more beautiful than before, with the very cracks that formed our brokenness being used to shine.

On Saturday, I voted.

I found it a rather different experience from what I had encountered in the past. As such, I felt the act, the decisions, the reasoning behind all of it, worthy of a bit of analysis. Why do I vote the way I do? And why does this one feel so consequential?

All of this can be found in my most recent entry to Crashing the Gates, "Silence Equals Death".

And, if you can, don't forget to vote!

https://nicolaelle.substack.com/p/silence-equals

#trans #transgender #voting #election

@revoluciana Radical optimism.

Okay.

A bunch of old trans folks, who've all seen a lot of shit, meeting together in a coffee shop.

That's my dream. That's what keeps me going. To be an old woman, comfortable with herself and her life, chatting away in a coffee shop with friends.

:QueerCatHeart_Trans:

@pdcawley @revoluciana That's one of the critical things to note about all of this - just how many people are transitioning later in life. We realize that life is too short to waste time being something we're not.

Shortly before I turned 40, I was at a stoplight thinking about my grandparents. One died in an accident, but one had lived into his 80s, one had lived into her 90s, and one was still living (and IS still living, at 102!). I realized I could potentially live 50 more years.

And the thought of living a half-century more as a guy filled me with absolute horror.

It was still 4 more years before I began transitioning.

So... my message.

Those whose eggs have cracked and still waiting... it's not too late.

Young adults who have gone through puberty, it's not too late.

Parents with families, it's not too late.

Empty nesters, it's not too late.

Retirees, it's not too late.

And as for Lou... rest in power, girl. We're glad you found happiness.

:QueerCatHeart_Trans:

Merry Christmas.

It’s Christmas morning, and I wake up to a face I don’t hate.

That is a Christmas miracle.

Have a good and safe day, everyone.

@gpk @HistoPol @Ruth_Mottram @mina Would have to second this. It also has a beautiful bit, that absolutely slaps, on personal responsibility and unintended outcomes for actions.

Feeling in a bit of a funny mood, so I think it's time to tell the most surreal #cycling moment I ever had in my life.

#RAGBRAI, Day 3, 2021. Starting early morning, maybe I got sleep, maybe I didn't. (Sleeping in a tent is like that.) I start out early, around 6 AM, still a little hazy out.

I like to listen to music while I bike; I had a small speaker for this. And, on this morning, I got it in my head to play a few French musicals. I started with Gerard Presgurvic's "Romeo & Juliette".

The music for the musical starts with "Verone", about the city in question.

So... I'm cycling out of the overnight city, still trying to wake up, sun not fully risen yet, listening to this song.

1/2? 🧵

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_gIJtcbUe0

Now, into this #cycling adventure... I think a bit of understanding of #RAGBRAI is in order.

I've often referred to RAGBRAI as a 450-mile pub crawl, across the state of Iowa. It's a rolling party. People will ride all sorts of vehicles across the state, and will do so in all sorts of costume. So seeing someone in unusual attire while riding is not completely unheard of.

All of that said, I did not expect to see what I saw that morning. It was one of those moments where I truly wondered if I was hallucinating.

For, on the road to my left and starting his own journey that morning, was a Gentleman. I managed to get his photo in the next town, along with a Wondrous young man.

It was the sort of moment where I truly wondered if what I was seeing was real. I start listening to music about Verona... and the Gentleman cometh.

2/2 🧵

@JoscelynTransient @emmalilian @faithisleaping @rooster @siege Mine was like having faulty wiring for the house, knowing the wiring’s bad, but not being able to fix it. Then the house catches fire, and trying to make sure everyone else is out of the house, having the initial exit path blocked, then nearly collapsing, and needing help to stagger out of the building.

And finding places to be me, to be comfortable are absolutely critical.

@folkerschamel @SallyStrange @samuel @steve

One good Wikipedia article deserves another… if you must know why instances must block other instances:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance

Unfettered tolerance leads to rampant intolerance. It’s basically a choice between intolerant groups that would quash any that disagree with them, and tolerant groups that are willing to work with others. Being a part of the Fediverse means accepting a social contract of sorts to play well with others. If an instance isn’t willing to do that, it needs to be blocked to preserve the rest.

(This is also why, when Musk claimed to be a “free-speech absolutist”, most of us called BS.)

@folkerschamel @samuel @SallyStrange @steve

I’m your huckleberry…

The argument you make assumes cultural neutrality in terms of its ability to coexist with other cultures.

And, well, a few counters to that:

Colonization.
Evangelization.
Irredentism.
Racism.
Sexism.
Homophobia.
Transphobia.
Xenophobia.

The cultures that we reject are those that are actively hostile to the lives and cultures of others. To ignore the existence of these hostilities is to ignore reality.

You claim instance-blocking as xenophobia, yet deny existing forms of xenophobia within those other instances, and argue against the right of instances to defend against that xenophobia.

There’s a term that describes that sort of behavior, accusing others of hostile behavior by defending themselves from hostile behavior: DARVO. Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.

@tillybridges I think the best response is, "The sort of person who's concerned about what is between a person's legs during a panel is probably not the person who needs to be setting up the panel. Also, ewww."

Happy Pride! At Henrietta (NY) Pride this evening.

(Description: selfie of a woman wearing a black velvet dress. CW: selfie, eye contact)

I don't want to say ALL of us trans folks here - I can't speak for everyone - but a good number of us have rough days. Days when the dysphoria rages. Days when imposter syndrome sets in. Days when we doubt everything - doubt we pass, doubt we look good, doubt we'll ever transition like we need.

To that, I must reply:

You are not alone.

You are loved.

You are valid.

You are incredible.

You are beautiful.

You are.

Against all odds and struggles, you are.

And that is an absolute miracle.

@JaedaCalaway @Terra oh, my heavens, this. Men stink - in the most literal way. Occasionally post-HRT I would encounter something with my old scent - usually cycling gear or the like - and have to stop for a moment in shock and amazement.