Notices by Emily Velasco (mle_online@social.afront.org)

Because of where I work, I get so many emails from people telling me they have figured out gravity is wrong or light works differently

I have learned the hard way that you cannot reconstitute half-and-half from frozen for use in coffee

Riverbed biking

I live in the land of a thousand garage sales, but where everything being sold is undesirable junk

Spotted a very nice VW. I don't think I've ever seen a notch back out on the road before

What if I didn't do a 24-hour economic blackout? What if I just secede from the economy and take up a life of crime?

Housing is out of reach, healthcare is a joke, the price of eggs is skyhigh. What even is the point of being a productive member of society!

So, I drove across town to buy this neat little folding bike from a guy on craigslist. It had already been posted on CL for a week before I found it, and the guy took a week to reply to me and say he still had it. I thought that was unusual because folding bikes usually sell really fast.

I had a little bit of an adventure tonight. Details will be forthcoming

I called him and got no answer. I called again and still got no answer.

Meanwhile, some guy with a junky pickup truck was using it and a tow strap to pull a car sideways out of its parking spot nearby.

Finally he got out of his truck and asked if I needed something.

We agreed to meet at his house at 7pm. at 6:52, I was at the 7-11 down the street getting cash. He emailed me to ask if I was still coming.

I text him back, thinking that would be more direct, but I didn't get a reply.

I drove to his address and found an odd stack of apartment buildings behind big steel fences

I said yea, and that I was there to buy a bike from Chester.

He replied that Chester lived there and that Chester has plenty of bikes.

And he goes, CHEESE, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE. YOU GOT A GIRL WHO WANTS TO BUY A BIKE FROM YOU

I hear a door bang somewhere up in the stack of apartment buildings and this little guy comes running down the stairs apologizing because he broke his phone today and he couldnt receive calls.

He opens up the garage, and it's just a crazy mess of bikes and disassembled bikes and bed frames, and vending machines

There was kiterally just shit everywhere. And Chester starts apologizing because "someone messed with the bike'

Someone -- I have no idea who -- had disassembled the bike and distributed its parts throughout the garage, so Chester was in a panic digging through everything looking for them

The most dreaded day. Having to drive deep into LA during rush hour day

55-minute drive. right now ugggh!

Horribly cursed city

You can't post about feeling bad on the internet because half the people who read that will feel weird and keep scrolling and the other half will treat you like you are a delicate baby who needs to be protected from bad feelings at all costs

The local paper of record breathlessly describes a new restaurant as having "lines down the block."

Nothing could make me want to avoid a place more than waiting in long lines and it being the hot new place in town everyone wants to be.