@Fragglemuppet @nora I really appreciated this discussion in all its dimensions. I've been rereading LotR - something I love on different and new levels as an adult, I was a teen reading ahead of the movies last time - and it's been a tumult of unexpectedly keen nostalgia for freedoms and family I've lost since then, and ways I hadn't been cut down by life myself. Who I was.
There's definitely some exercise (as in work) of self-compassion that comes into play.