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@LauraLangdon @futurebird I
I was never a parent. With my gee-kids, my wife gradually taught me this.

I'd say, "If you don't punish them, they'll be totally out of control!"

She'd say, "Yes, definitely. Also if you *do* punish them, only then, you also get the added effect of everyone feeling bad about themselves, and no actual problem solved. Solve actual problems."

(I am trainable, albeit somewhat slowly.)