@LauraLangdon @futurebird I
I was never a parent. With my gee-kids, my wife gradually taught me this.
I'd say, "If you don't punish them, they'll be totally out of control!"
She'd say, "Yes, definitely. Also if you *do* punish them, only then, you also get the added effect of everyone feeling bad about themselves, and no actual problem solved. Solve actual problems."
(I am trainable, albeit somewhat slowly.)