Miakoda
One of the things my friend, Sarah, talked about before her suicide was her fears of the current regime.
This was notable because she brought it up and politics wasn't a topic she'd normally initiate. After her suicide, I relayed this to angry roommate, as he's a mutual friend.
One of the accusations he hurled at me yesterday was that this was bullshit I used Sarah's suicide to "once again" bring up my interests.
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Miakoda
This might very well be the most offensive false accusation I've ever gotten.
First, at the time I relayed that info, the conversation didn't continue on politics after I said it. We continued talking about what had happened to Sarah.
Second, contrary to his beliefs, autistic people do have feelings and do mourn. We dont ALWAYS discuss our interests.
Third, Sarah was once of my closest friends, one of my few safe people. That loss was absolutely devastating
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Miakoda
And Fourth,
Politics isn't even one of my interests. I fucking hate politics! I follow it now because the current "government" is an active, dangerous threat to myself and my loved ones! It's the same reason I might track a dangerous storm when I don't normally deep dive in to the weather.
Miakoda
I am mind blown this guy made such an accusation.
And this is the same roomie who was so furious with me he wouldn't speak to me for days because when he asked if I'd take over Sarah's DnD character, I said I don't even want to consider that idea until after Sarah's funeral!
The fucking AUDACITY to claim I used her suicide to bring up an interest after he asked me to take her spot, her character, before her body was even cold!
Miakoda
Mind you I STILL haven't been able to stomach playing the PS4 game her and I used to play together. I'm still not really recovered from that loss, and I feel like I never will be.
To say I'm hurt by the bullshit accusation is an understatement of epic proportion.
How TF this guy came to that conclusion is beyond my comprehension.
Miakoda
I'm not so sure I'll be able to forgive angry roommie for this. He called himself my friend for years. Friends don't treat their friends like this.
Miakoda
@Infrapink This guy used to have a whole thing about compassion... but he fucking sucks at it!
Spending 2 hours going on about every autistic trait and behavior I have is lies, manipulation, gas lighting... that's not compassion. That was his big thing. Even on things like insisting my cat didn't get fed for an entire day, despite evidence to the contrary. I tried to show that evidence and got "See, I KNEW you'd do this!"
Yes, it's reasonable to predict I'd offer evidence to defend myself
Infrapink (he/his/him)
@hellomiakoda You are right to feel this way. Angry Roomie clearly has issues with empathy.
Miakoda
@piper Absurdly, he insists I said that's why she suicided. No, I said that's what she brought up at the time she disclosed to me she was suicidal.
She was thankful that I continued the conversation, instead of not wanting to hear it like most people do. It was clear she had very few people willing to discuss suicidal ideation, and I assured her that topic isn't going to put me off. That if she was feeling that way, I want to know, I want to talk about it. I can't help if I don't know.
Piper
@hellomiakoda I'm sorry you're dealing with that. That's a horrible thing to be accused of :(
Miakoda
@piper It was a conversation with plenty of tears and emotion... And angry roommie writes it off as a manipulative lie fabricated by me.
Yesterday was a rather clear view of what angry roomie actually thinks of me. It all seems to have started by disclosing to him I'm autistic. Given the complaints he has of other autistic people... I struggle not to hop to that conclusion.
Miakoda
@piper I know what "Don't talk that way!" feels like. It's fucking absurd. I love my friends dearly. If one of them is suffering enough to consider suicide, I absolutely want to know! If it's fixable, let's fix it! If it's not fixable (chronic illness), then at least I'll get a chance to say goodbye.
Piper
@hellomiakoda Thank you for being someone who is willing to talk about the topic. I strongly believe fewer people would commit suicide if more of them had friends they could talk about their thoughts openly with. Being suicidal in our culture is so isolating and that's a time when it's especially dangerous for someone to be made to feel isolated.
Miakoda
@piper There was one time I disclosed to angry roommate I was suicidal, when I still felt confident in calling him my friend. He reacted by insisting I was saying that to manipulate him.
Man... there is definitely a really bad pattern.
Piper
@hellomiakoda Yeah, my thoughts as well. I want to help my friends!
Miakoda
@fishidwardrobe Yep, DnD guy
Fish Id Wardrobe ⁂
@hellomiakoda this is the DnD guy? honestly, I try not to judge people I don't know. but i've heard so many things about him from you that are run-don't-walk red flags for me. I don't think you should waste your time worrying about anything he says.
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