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   tactical lesbo action elilla& (elilla@transmom.love)'s status on Sunday, 26-Jan-2025 22:10:32 JST tactical lesbo action elilla&

   my darling was harassed on the way back home last night... it's already getting bad, isn't it? like I'm getting transphobic episodes myself at least once a month, it wasn't like this before for sure. can't imagine how it must be if you look Arab rn. the AfD isn't even in yet and the bigots are already all excited

   • Embed this notice
     tactical lesbo action elilla& (elilla@transmom.love)'s status on Sunday, 26-Jan-2025 22:10:28 JST tactical lesbo action elilla&

     in reply to

     • Chris-Evelyn

     @chris_evelyn same tbh.

     the scene here doesn't understand what a gang is. people put "shitty boyfriend" or "ally with problematic opinions" at the same category of threat as cops and nazis. the ensuing fragility means that, as a result, people like me at a heightened risk of being deported or arrested get no support network due to everyone laying low in paranoid fear of a threat that, unlike cops, I can just punch and defend myself from, who cannot ever sign a piece of paper that decides the fate of my entire family (=shitty boyfriends).

     actual examples that are real:
     - antifa self-defense group falls apart due to 1 (one) guy shouting over me and another girl, once, and the resulting discourse over whether that was misogynistic or not.
     - the only migrant-run left space in town, i.e. the single only one that wasn't Zionist, falls apart due to indymedia accusations that one (1) guy was a sexual harasser. leaving aside the matter of whether the accusations have merit or not and how often therapyspeak is weaponised—the whole physical space closing means that the local Palestine solidarity network now has literally nowhere to organise and must travel to another city to be able to meet. to fight, you know. LITERAL ETHNIC CLEANSING, paid for with German money.
     - anarchist person has a friend jailed irregularly, in blatant political persecution. another anarchist person says they're considering a job as a jailer. person #1 explodes over this, shouts, says person #2 isn't a real anarchist. person #1, who's nb but male-read, gets banned from the space over problematic macker behaviour. three years later person #1 is trying to get an anarchist space organised. they are still refused to make a talk about it on the space where they shouted once.
     - young trans girl has a heated discussion where she behaves assholeish. people call her out. she says it's because she's autistic. people say, correctly, that this is a shitty excuse. she obviously gets defensive, as most people would under heightened emotions. now because the other person in the discussion is a community organiser who's everywhere in the town, the young trans girl is ostracised from every queer space forever. she's currently alternating between suicidal and detransition ideation.
     - young trans couple is found to be sharing suicide and self-harm ideation on private dark alts. one of them is 20, the other 17. the older one gets called an abusive homicidal groomer murderer, and people try to set up a trap to call the cops on them. trans people who claim to be anarchists, mind you. upon being rescued from the trap, the younger one says "she's the only reason I'm alive".
     - trans girl is afraid her girlfriend is going to kill herself and locks her in the apartment. (different couple from above.) she gets denounced, correctly, for abusive behaviour. the other girl shelters with other people for a while. eventually she talks a lot with her gf, convinces herself she understands the problem and regrets it, they make up and go back together. they've been a happy couple ever since. many years later, the older girl is still ostracised and people tell me "that girl? that girl's an abuser" every time her name comes up. the putative victim disagrees but that only proves how much the older girl is a manipulative manipulator. meanwhile the younger girl gets spuriously accused of problematic behaviour too, also due to heated discussions, so now different nodes of the whisper network ostracise both.
     - pro-Palestine queer org would be present in the CSD. orga finds out last minute, falls apart debating whether to allow it. the orga and the entire Pride parade get cancelled 1 (one) day beforehand. leftist fragility achieves what the nazis couldn't.

     how would one build community in this culture? literal nazis are literally doing violence to us but a male-read enby looking visibly angry is as much a "violent agressor" as the genocidal supremacist who bashed my head with a metal bat? of course the weaponisation of therapyspeak lets *actual* abusers off the hook by diluting the words—punitive justice is like water, it always goes for the lowest level, the wealthy cis men don't give a fuck, it's trannies and immigrants who get destroyed by knee-jerk ostracism—but make no mistake, for every left group destroyed by a sneaky sexual predator, fifty are destroyed by fragility and trauma projection. when community is a coin exchanged for good behaviour, you have the incentive to shout "abuse!" at every conflict, lest the other side shout it first. you also have the incentive to join in every time a cryptoterf accuses a trans girl of being a harasser, lest you be pegged as an enabler and probably secretly a rapist too. believe victims, right? especially white victims.

     "a community is, for better and for worse, a relationship of material interdependence. let's not fool ourselves: we have no community." (The Broken Teapot)

     Fã do Vegeta :Ryyca: repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     Chris-Evelyn (chris_evelyn@troet.cafe)'s status on Sunday, 26-Jan-2025 22:10:30 JST Chris-Evelyn

     in reply to

     @elilla My problem is mainly that I have no support network at all. I'm trying, though.

     Fã do Vegeta :Ryyca: repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     tactical lesbo action elilla& (elilla@transmom.love)'s status on Sunday, 26-Jan-2025 22:10:31 JST tactical lesbo action elilla&

     in reply to

     https://www.mdr.de/nachrichten/sachsen/chemnitz/polizei-ueberfall-bar-rechte-verletzter-100.html

     honestly I think this country won't even last to 2033 this time. last time at least the resistance wasn't all like "my mental health is conflict-averse this isn't for me"

   • Embed this notice
     tactical lesbo action elilla& (elilla@transmom.love)'s status on Sunday, 26-Jan-2025 22:11:59 JST tactical lesbo action elilla&

     in reply to

     the other day someone said, "where I come from people will call you slurs but when you're in need they will treat you like a human being. here people will debate using 'transphobic' rather than 'transmisic' for a week, then call the cops on you if you don't behave white enough. upon consideration I realise I prefer the former" and I've been thinking about it ever since.

     I was reading somewhere else that said "the policing of language is a middle-class preoccupation" and I've been thinking about it ever since too.

     like I don't want to claim that words don't matter, they obviously do, first step in dehumanisation etc. etc. and you should 100% intervene and call out etc. etc. but there's no sense of proportion, no sense of urgency, no sense of danger and most of all, no sense of the enemy.

     I have to think this is because if people dared to admit the reality before their eyes they would have to fight, as in the non-metaphorical way, against tangible enemies with names and addresses living next door, rather than "fighting" by angryposting about the abstract spooks that spook our so-called "communities".

   • Embed this notice
     tactical lesbo action elilla& (elilla@transmom.love)'s status on Sunday, 26-Jan-2025 22:13:14 JST tactical lesbo action elilla&

     in reply to

     • Enyel of the Saintanne

     @aintasenatorson of course the people involved won't *say* "our community space got destroyed because one guy shouted over a girl once ". they will say oh I just got burned out, I'm so tired, I have to work tomorrow, I don't have the kapas etc. and mysteriously everyone feels like that in the immediate aftermath of callout drama, and the group gets dissolved.

     but they never question *why* everyone feels like they're stepping on eggshells all the time, why these spaces that should have been healing are instead so draining. when the only conflict resolution tool you have is ostracism, every conflict looks like abuse, and every group interaction feels like danger. weakness-as-identity plays a role here too: people think they're tired all the time because their brains were born broken; they get highkey offended at the suggestion that trauma can be *handled*, that resilience can be learned, practised, increased; they don't ever question the relationship between subjective states and material circumstances. meanwhile the bodies pile up at the walls of the Fortress, dead eyes staring mutely at the preoccupations of the insiders.

     I forgot who was it who said, "safe space is a practice of warfare or it doesn't exist". the only possible safe space is a space where you have the safety of not getting thrown to the enemy, a space where people go, "we're big kids and we can solve our own problems". all other promises of safety are lies.

   • Embed this notice
     Enyel of the Saintanne (aintasenatorson@retro.pizza)'s status on Sunday, 26-Jan-2025 22:13:15 JST Enyel of the Saintanne

     in reply to

     • Chris-Evelyn

     @elilla @chris_evelyn it boggles my mind how they can get so caught up in this that it actually destroys the group/space itself.
     I have seen over here a lot of egos and "treating the space as if you owned it" destroying groups, but this is something else.
     The anarchist jailer one i am still processing, reads like a bad joke.

     Fã do Vegeta :Ryyca: repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     Mx Amber Alex (she/it) (amberage@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Sunday, 26-Jan-2025 22:14:19 JST Mx Amber Alex (she/it)

     in reply to

     @elilla @chris_evelyn someone who calls me a man who wants to be a woman but stands between me and the nazis that want to kill me is infinitely preferable to someone who talks the talk but kicks me out of the group because I look to AMAB for their FLINTA event.

     Fã do Vegeta :Ryyca: repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     Mx Amber Alex (she/it) (amberage@eldritch.cafe)'s status on Sunday, 26-Jan-2025 22:14:21 JST Mx Amber Alex (she/it)

     in reply to

     • Chris-Evelyn

     @elilla @chris_evelyn fucking thank you, you continue to put so much frustration I share into words better than I ever could.

     My standpoint has been for years "I can stand against nazis with anyone who isn't a nazi (or otherwise wants me and my comrades dead)" and this inability to differetiate between existential threats and in-community feuds is the biggest fucking hindrance to that.

     Fã do Vegeta :Ryyca: repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     tactical lesbo action elilla& (elilla@transmom.love)'s status on Sunday, 26-Jan-2025 22:14:48 JST tactical lesbo action elilla&

     in reply to

     • Mx Amber Alex (she/it)
     • Chris-Evelyn

     @amberage @chris_evelyn the missing understanding is that you don't have to like or even trust someone to be a comrade. I've only ever seen this realisation dawn on a German when we were literally being chased by a band of Nazis and they said "you know, I still think that person is abusive and I won't ever want to hang out with them, but I do trust them to come and stand for us right now". (supposedly abusive person did respond to our call; no one in the local antifa group did, as in, no antifa came fight with us when under direct threat of potentially murderous violence.)