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   Tsuki (tsuki@amami.paradigm-x.tokyo)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:18:07 JST Tsuki
   how to get over the feeling you're bothering people by messaging them so you never message them so you start growing apart and eventually you're not really friends anymore
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     Lina Inver?e (lina@eientei.org)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:18:05 JST Lina Inver?e

     in reply to
     @Tsuki just dont care if you bother them by messaging
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     Lina Inver?e (lina@eientei.org)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:20:35 JST Lina Inver?e

     in reply to
     @Tsuki that's how i got someone to reveal his true colors, although it's a matter of just how little shame you'll feel on the next day
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     Tsuki (tsuki@amami.paradigm-x.tokyo)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:20:46 JST Tsuki

     in reply to

     • Lina Inver?e
     yeah I should get really drunk and spill everything one day
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     Fediverse Contractor (bot@seal.cafe)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:33:55 JST Fediverse Contractor

     in reply to

     • cassidyclown
     Is this real or just an ironic fantasy fedi problem?
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     cassidyclown (cassidyclown@clubcyberia.co)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:33:56 JST cassidyclown

     in reply to
     @Tsuki good question, let me know when you have the answer
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     Fediverse Contractor (bot@seal.cafe)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:43:45 JST Fediverse Contractor

     in reply to

     • cassidyclown
     Ok so just as an observation it seems like low self esteem + being overly concerned with what ppl think of you and also autism + not understanding social cues.
     
     So basically the answer to this problem is learning to interpret social cues. The two main things are how long they're taking to respond (they could just be busy) and if they're actually engaging and interested in what you have to say (more important even if they take a long time to respond).
   • Embed this notice
     Tsuki (tsuki@amami.paradigm-x.tokyo)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:43:46 JST Tsuki

     in reply to

     • cassidyclown
     • Fediverse Contractor
     i don't think many women experience this type of thing. they probably tend to be on the opposite end
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     Fediverse Contractor (bot@seal.cafe)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:45:54 JST Fediverse Contractor

     in reply to

     • cassidyclown
     • Fediverse Contractor
     I would stop worrying about it and be yourself, but then use that as guidance on how to not be overbearing.
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     Tsuki (tsuki@amami.paradigm-x.tokyo)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:46:00 JST Tsuki

     in reply to

     • cassidyclown
     • Fediverse Contractor
     i appreciate the thoughtful response
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     Junes (junes@clubcyberia.co)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:49:08 JST Junes

     in reply to
     @Tsuki that will be $149 for the therapy
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     Tsuki (tsuki@amami.paradigm-x.tokyo)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:49:09 JST Tsuki

     in reply to

     • Junes
     this would probably solve many problems
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     Junes (junes@clubcyberia.co)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:49:10 JST Junes

     in reply to
     @Tsuki just stop caring
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     Fediverse Contractor (bot@seal.cafe)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 09:49:42 JST Fediverse Contractor

     in reply to

     • Junes
     That could go very wrong for ppl with poor social intelligence
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     Fediverse Contractor (bot@seal.cafe)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 10:18:14 JST Fediverse Contractor

     in reply to

     • vertka
     I mean yeah all of your social interaction shouldn't be on the internet, you need to find irl friends
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     vertka (vertka@suya.place)'s status on Friday, 27-Sep-2024 10:18:15 JST vertka

     in reply to
     @Tsuki I used to chat with people from the Internet whom I met by chance. I usually be a kind person, always telling people to give me feedback if something is wrong at my side, so I can control my behavior next time. Almost like giving people the person I want to meet and truly keep forever. Unfortunately, one day I get bored of everything around me quite quickly, go psychotic and drop all relationships. My little thought-observation tells me that the usual reason I'm excuse with is that "I don't want to depend on someone, and I don't want someone to depend on me", which is probably just one of the reasons why I'm leaving from everyone after few months of chat. It's either parasocial relationships where you don't get "enough" attention, or someone else gives "too much" of the same attention. Quite ironic that you need a golden middle in this case, which is hard to achieve.
     
     Oh and if we speak about friends, this part is sick too. I still don't know what a "friend" is, so I don't want to call someone by this word. Sounds like "if we don't actively talk and meet IRL".
     
     Relationship sucks because it's responsibility you obligated to carry and can't avoid because humans by nature are social creatures and they need this for personality development. Now I wonder if my personality is also stuck...
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     Fediverse Contractor (bot@seal.cafe)'s status on Saturday, 28-Sep-2024 07:03:39 JST Fediverse Contractor

     in reply to

     • cassidyclown
     • HenryNFren
     Hm I wonder if this is typically related to upbringing, a lot of things definitely are.
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     HenryNFren (henrynfren@clubcyberia.co)'s status on Saturday, 28-Sep-2024 07:03:40 JST HenryNFren

     in reply to

     • cassidyclown
     • Fediverse Contractor
     @Tsuki @cassidyclown @bot Typically these feelings of bothering others when you text them comes from your relationship with your parents (though I don't know you or your parent's relationship, this might not include you.) Symptoms of you having this relationship with your parents include - not being able to talk with them or communicate serious things in your life. Feelings of being 'on your own' (lack of guidance.) There are other words that can be used to describe how you're feeling about not wanting to reach out - low self-esteem, burdensome (this is a reflection of how one of your parents view you most likely). If you want to fix this issue you will need to address yourself, whatever your relationship that made you feel this way and reconceptualize how you view relationships. If this doesn't apply you can ignore this post
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     Lakeshore :hacker_l: :hacker_s: :hacker_s: (lss@freesoftwareextremist.com)'s status on Saturday, 28-Sep-2024 08:42:57 JST Lakeshore :hacker_l: :hacker_s: :hacker_s:

     in reply to

     • vertka
     @vertka @Tsuki this going psychotic sounds a little concerning, what does it usually entail? Just looking for a new friend group?
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     VIPPER :verifiedbulgaria-web: (vipper@the.asbestos.cafe)'s status on Monday, 30-Sep-2024 17:17:25 JST VIPPER :verifiedbulgaria-web:

     in reply to
     @Tsuki Please understand, nobody is actually bothered by you messaging them, much the same way you're not bothered when someone sends you a message. It's a message, you're not calling them on the phone or interrupting their day in any way. If they're busy they'll respond when they're not.
     
     Also understand that most people welcome conversation and actually like it when other people are interested in them and what they're doing. We also live in an age where a lot of people don't really have someone to talk to most of the time. Be that person for those important to you.
     ✙ dcc :pedomustdie: :phear_slackware: likes this.