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   Drew DeVault (drewdevault@fosstodon.org)'s status on Tuesday, 09-Apr-2024 18:34:26 JST Drew DeVault

   Someone responsible for enforcing the code of conduct in a project reaches out to you to discuss your behavior.

   Do you (1) listen to them in earnest, ask questions if things are unclear, and take the opportunity for introspection and improvement, or (2) interpret everything they said as a threat, immediately escalate it into an argument, and characterize the email as a harassment campaign targeted against you and endorsed by the employer of the conduct enforcement person?

   🤦♂️

   • Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell: likes this.
   • Embed this notice
     Aleksandra Fedorova :fedora: (bookwar@fosstodon.org)'s status on Tuesday, 09-Apr-2024 18:35:21 JST Aleksandra Fedorova :fedora:

     in reply to

     @drewdevault

     Please remember, people who react like this to the Code of Conduct conversations, do it out of fear of you.

     Some of that fear may be based on the fact that they know they did something wrong.

     But most of the time, it is based on the previous experience of dealing with authorities, which act without any considerations of the people involved.

     This is not making it easier for you, but deescalating is an art we often have to learn on the job.

     Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell: likes this.
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     Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell: (lanodan@queer.hacktivis.me)'s status on Tuesday, 09-Apr-2024 18:59:16 JST Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell:

     in reply to
     @drewdevault ① should be done and is the best scenario, at least I'd say it should be seen as learning the limits and politely acknowledging them, ② is off limits.
     By the way I can easily see a scenario ③ where the person disagrees about it, even with being a bit rude, but doesn't creates much drama, like heat of the moment kind of thing, this is why ② to me is off limits.
     (Plus a scenario ④ where the person says okay or even apologises but continues exactly as before)
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     Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell: (lanodan@queer.hacktivis.me)'s status on Tuesday, 09-Apr-2024 19:34:02 JST Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell:

     in reply to

     • Richard Levitte
     @levitte @drewdevault Yeah, ④ is off-limits as well, it just that it can easily end up being a really weird one to enforce, specially in open/large communities.
   • Embed this notice
     Richard Levitte (levitte@mastodon.nu)'s status on Tuesday, 09-Apr-2024 19:34:04 JST Richard Levitte

     in reply to

     • Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell:

     @lanodan @drewdevault
     I would say that your scenario (4) should be deemed like (2), just with added passive aggressivity (which makes matters worse in my book)...