Please remember, people who react like this to the Code of Conduct conversations, do it out of fear of you.
Some of that fear may be based on the fact that they know they did something wrong.
But most of the time, it is based on the previous experience of dealing with authorities, which act without any considerations of the people involved.
This is not making it easier for you, but deescalating is an art we often have to learn on the job.