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1. Embed this notice
   william.maggos (wjmaggos@liberal.city)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 11:02:19 JST william.maggos

   • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
   • ?? Humpleupagus ??
   • ?Udon?
   • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?

   @udongle @Humpleupagus @p @jessecoynelson

   humans can differentiate between disagreement and being a jerk. I get the first from people on lots of different servers, but when they start calling me a faggot etc, it's always from one of these servers. I wish there was no fediblocking but the alternative is asking the entire fedi to tolerate regularly seeing shit from people who would have loved to work in this lab. it's ok cause you've built up a tolerance or muted most of them already? thanks.

   • Embed this notice
     Mr. Bacon (tony@clew.lol)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 11:02:14 JST Mr. Bacon

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     Well, then you're just going to have to figure out how to not be offended by "nigger" and "faggot".
     
     See, those are like the "we aren't giving them up" words. Those words are sort of the markers for "free speech". If your ask is "accept all genders and LGBTQ members and be nice", then our ask is let us say "nigger" and "faggot".
     
     It's a sort of cultural disconnect. When middle class people spend a lot of time in academia, or the corporate world you get used to being in a protective "bubble" of like minded people. This side of the fediverse is simply people who are not apart of that life and who spend their time with people who are not sheltered. We don't have an HR department.
     
     The world isn't always a nice place. And, words, by themselves, can't actually hurt you.
     
     This actually sums up the use of "fag" pretty well - it's rarely used as a derogatory term towards gay individuals. lol
     
     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i7a0cwyDDw
   • Embed this notice
     ?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 11:02:14 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     I'm self-employed. I am the HR department. 🤨
   • Embed this notice
     william.maggos (wjmaggos@liberal.city)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 11:02:15 JST william.maggos

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon

     @Tony @Humpleupagus @p @udongle @jessecoynelson

     the people on your side who begin conversations with nigger and faggot don't do that AFK. it's not ridiculous for me to ask them not to say that to people they don't know just cause they aren't within punching distance. I am not asking people to agree on everything or like each other. and yes, my side needs to get more comfortable with opinions they seriously object to. funny memes that say something smart are very different than the cruel ones.

   • Embed this notice
     Mr. Bacon (tony@clew.lol)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 11:02:16 JST Mr. Bacon

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     Well what you want comes with consequences. And the consequences are people teasing each other and poking at each other.
     
     Large groups of people almost never universally get along. You can federate with this half, but you'll have to be okay seeing opinions and talking to people who you just don't always agree with.
     
     I think most people can't handle having someone, or entire groups of people disagreeing or disliking them. All groups "haze" to a certain extent. Even on your "side" of the fediverse, I am mostly not welcome just be default, or I have to cater what I say to not offended anyone.
     
     Plus stepping on eggshells all the time doesn't lead to good or valuable conversation.
     
     The other problem is in itself the mind set of "why can't we all get along". You just can't. You can't possibly find common ground with everyone. When you factor in the sheer diversity of experience it's super ignorant to assume you can just be yourself and everyone will like you. Sometimes when you disagree you just have to not respond or you'll get into an argument. I think they key is more emotional intelligence and not assuming because someone has a specific belief they are "all" bad. You don't have to agree with someone on EVERYTHING - you can still post fun memes and give each other shit in good fun while keeping your own values and allowing them to have theirs.
   • Embed this notice
     william.maggos (wjmaggos@liberal.city)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 11:02:17 JST william.maggos

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon

     @Tony @Humpleupagus @p @udongle @jessecoynelson

     but i don't want a split fedi. i want the people who disagree the most engaging each other the most. i want the people on big social to feel welcome here. i know some demand near uniformity on belief etc, but I feel we could get a lot closer to what I want if there was just less "hazing". I also know what I want is not the kind of "entertainment" most others want.

   • Embed this notice
     Mr. Bacon (tony@clew.lol)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 11:02:18 JST Mr. Bacon

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     Someone said this earlier and I thought it was extremely accurate.
     
     People do that as kind of a "hazing" thing. Every time a new user pops up on this side of the fediverse they get bombarded and told to say "nigger". It's like a right of passage. Is this person "cool" or are they going to whine and complain while here.
     
     Most of the time if you ignore it it goes away. people rarely harass people who aren't making themselves a target by acting like a Karen.
     
     If someone calls you a faggot just don't respond. Or ask them to be a gentleman and wine and dine you like a proper faggot.
   • Embed this notice
     ?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 11:10:38 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • Your Loud, Obnoxious Skunkle Jesse
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     My wife tried once, but I slapped her on the ass and told her to STFU. 😏
   • Embed this notice
     Your Loud, Obnoxious Skunkle Jesse (feralphilosophernc@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 11:10:39 JST Your Loud, Obnoxious Skunkle Jesse

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     Which is why he's constantly masturbating. No one to enforce the sexual harassment policy.
   • Embed this notice
     ?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 13:02:33 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     That reminds me. I still owe you dinner. 😏
   • Embed this notice
     ?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 13:13:09 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     It's like dealing with a sales person. One technique they use is to keep you taking by asking you to explain "why" any time you say something that would appear to end the sale. They want to keep you talking and eventually break your reason. Sometimes you just say "because.... that's why."
     
     You have no obligation to explain yourself to others or to further elaborate a position. Sometimes you just state your position and leave it at that. "This is what I believe. I have come to this conclusion after great consideration, and I really don't desire to explain. Deal with it."
     
     I'm not discounting the importance of dialog in learning or correcting beliefs, but sometimes you just have to hang up the phone.
   • Embed this notice
     pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 13:13:10 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     @wjmaggos @Tony @Humpleupagus @udongle @jessecoynelson
     
     > i want the people who disagree the most engaging each other the most.
     
     Healthy disagreement and engagement are good, but not everything warrants a debate (sometimes I would like to talk about awk without someone posting recycled /pol/ material at me), some debates are not going to get solved. I used to get swamped on a regular basis with people that demanded that I prove that drawings are just drawings, that's never going to get solved. I put a blog post about it on blog.fse, right, because I got inundated on a regular basis and wanted to just have a link to shove at people and say "This answers all your questions, I have nothing further to say" and I still got inundated by people that hate those drawings or people that love those drawings. Loli hentai wasn't allowed, but people demanded that I argue interminably because they didn't like the reason I don't want to host it. There's no solution to that problem, I don't plan to budge, and it was usually a pretext for causing problems rather than an attempt at reasoning by people that wanted to think it through.
     notifications_about_the_loli_question.png
   • Embed this notice
     Mr. Bacon (tony@clew.lol)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 13:17:33 JST Mr. Bacon

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • DeadDrudge
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     Yah, sales is like fishing though.
     
     Just send out 1000 emails and 5-15 will bite lol.
   • Embed this notice
     ?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 13:17:33 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • DeadDrudge
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     Just act like you're interested, and tell them that you have the money, but they have to wire you $10k to get your baggage out of customs. 😏
   • Embed this notice
     DeadDrudge (jeddrudge@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 13:17:34 JST DeadDrudge

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     I usually just hang up when I recognize a sales pitch....
   • Embed this notice
     DeadDrudge (jeddrudge@nicecrew.digital)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 13:18:13 JST DeadDrudge

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     True... Like so many thing, a numbers game...
   • Embed this notice
     Mr. Bacon (tony@clew.lol)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 13:20:38 JST Mr. Bacon

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • DeadDrudge
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     Oh you're one of those. lol
   • Embed this notice
     ?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 14:44:35 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     But we're all equal, right? So why can't I say "nigger"? Because I'm White? I played street ball for years. I've earned my nigger pass.
     
     Furthermore, discussions do not have to be kind, and sometimes can't be. This is just you fixing the game of discourse once again, just like you tried to do with your "good faith" theory. Needless to say, sometimes rheroric or demonstrative is the best method of explanation, and harsh or extreme rhetoric or demonstrative works best.
     
     Additionally, if someone hazes you and you fold, you're probably not well equipped to have the difficult conversations, nor to enjoy edge lord humor. Thus, it serves a valid gate keeping function within certain communities, and here particularly, because many people in this community can go from toilet humor to very serious and conscientious discussion back to toilet humor within a few replies.
     
     My own experience is that those who can't handle hazing are usually slow witted. They're really not made for the frat houses of life.
   • Embed this notice
     william.maggos (wjmaggos@liberal.city)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 14:44:36 JST william.maggos

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon

     @Tony @Humpleupagus @p @udongle @jessecoynelson

     the idea is not to give up any words. black people call each other nigger and gay people call each other faggot. that serves the camaraderie function for them. I wish there was a term for troll etc that had an edge to it, one you wouldn't like others using. you want to prove your support for "free speech" by making it less likely others will want to take advantage of it, to talk about the difficult stuff. you can discuss unpopular stuff kindly.

   • Embed this notice
     ?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:08:24 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     I'm self-employed, and you are not only demanding that people start at your acceptable level of discourse, you are demanding the they stay there. Have I said anything inappropriate given the topic? No. If you think I did, you may need to examine yourself.
   • Embed this notice
     william.maggos (wjmaggos@liberal.city)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:08:26 JST william.maggos

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon

     @Humpleupagus @Tony @p @udongle @jessecoynelson

     why can't you have your edgelord humor with other edgelords and talk to others like they might be friends of your grandmother from church until you know better. same with your nigger pass. before you get to know the new guy at work, you're more careful. if we care about communicating our positions and understanding others, we don't demand everyone start at our level of discourse. why must you talk to everyone the same when we don't do that AFK?

   • Embed this notice
     ?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:15:15 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     I asked a very specific question. Did I say anything inappropriate given the topic?
   • Embed this notice
     william.maggos (wjmaggos@liberal.city)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:15:17 JST william.maggos

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon

     @Humpleupagus @Tony @p @udongle @jessecoynelson

     https://liberal.city/@wjmaggos/110526955684458037

   • Embed this notice
     ?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:35:50 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     What if the sewing circles are affecting the dive bar patrons? What if they want to pass laws outlawing dive bars? Are dive bar patrons allowed to confront the sewing circles? You're analogy is illusory, because you're pretending that your sewing circle aren't political actives.
   • Embed this notice
     william.maggos (wjmaggos@liberal.city)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:35:51 JST william.maggos

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon

     @p @Tony @Humpleupagus @udongle @jessecoynelson

     some people in sewing circles have a problem with people swearing in a dive bar they will never go near. that's unreasonable. but it is reasonable to try to keep the dive bar patrons from screaming in the windows of the sewing circle. they can deal with each one but the sewing circles that can automatically keep those troublesome dive bar patrons away will be more popular. I'd rather the dive bar ask their patrons not to bother the sewing circles.

   • Embed this notice
     pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist: (p@freespeechextremist.com)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:35:52 JST pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:

     in reply to

     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     @wjmaggos @Humpleupagus @Tony @udongle @jessecoynelson Some people are not going to be polite ever; this is fine. Some instances are dive bars or strip clubs, some instances are sewing circles, some are country clubs, some are indoctrination camps, that's fine.
   • Embed this notice
     ?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:45:01 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     But notice how he set up the analogy.... his side of the fediverse, innocent grandmas, our side, drunkards. It makes him right by default. Who wants to hurt granny? and drunkards should be isolated! The truth is the we're all drunkards on this ship of theseus.
   • Embed this notice
     Mr. Bacon (tony@clew.lol)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:45:02 JST Mr. Bacon

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     In the corporate world everyone plays by the commonly accepted rules. Outside of it, each community makes its own rules.
   • Embed this notice
     ?? Humpleupagus ?? (humpleupagus@eveningzoo.club)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:46:26 JST ?? Humpleupagus ??

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon
     I get a positive emotional response when Tony calls me a faggot. 🤷♂️
   • Embed this notice
     william.maggos (wjmaggos@liberal.city)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:46:27 JST william.maggos

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     • Mr. Bacon

     @Tony @Humpleupagus @p @udongle @jessecoynelson

     and it sucks. my contention being that it would happen less and still allow the expression of all unpopular opinions if only abusive replies (saying mean shit to people likely to have a negative emotional response) were just policed more.

   • Embed this notice
     Mr. Bacon (tony@clew.lol)'s status on Monday, 12-Jun-2023 15:46:28 JST Mr. Bacon

     in reply to

     • pistolero :thispersondoesnotexist:
     • ?? Humpleupagus ??
     • ?Udon?
     • Sir Rogue Knight Geo-Jigsaw?
     Oh a bunch of these communities hate each other lol. People defederate each other all the time.