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1. Embed this notice
   Mr. Funk E. Dude (mrfunkedude@mastodon.social)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Feb-2023 12:50:12 JST Mr. Funk E. Dude

   If I am elected Mayor of Mastodon…

   Touching butts (consensually) will not only be a right, it will be A CIVIC DUTY. If you cannot get to a butt to touch it, one will be made available for you. (not guaranteed)

   Thank you for your vote.

   • Embed this notice
     Mr. Funk E. Dude (mrfunkedude@mastodon.social)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Feb-2023 13:00:24 JST Mr. Funk E. Dude

     in reply to

     • Nick's world

     @gocu54 any butt will do. You can touch a cats butt, a dogs butt, cigarette butts, a pork butt, whatever kind of butt works best for you.

   • Embed this notice
     Nick's world (gocu54@tweesecake.social)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Feb-2023 13:00:25 JST Nick's world

     in reply to

     @Mrfunkedude Sorry. NOt into butt stuff.

   • Embed this notice
     𝑩𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒏 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒑𝒆𝒓 (that_one_guy@mastodon.world)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Feb-2023 13:06:01 JST 𝑩𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒏 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒑𝒆𝒓

     in reply to

     @Mrfunkedude
     Totally support the campaign, you have my vote!

     I'll supply my own butt. I'd like to say butts plural but I've been a one butt man for close to 20 years now. ?

   • Embed this notice
     sdenise (sdenise@mindly.social)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Feb-2023 13:15:51 JST sdenise

     in reply to

     @Mrfunkedude okay you had me til I lost the guarantee but perhaps I could volunteer for campaign duties? #voteformrfunkedude

   • Embed this notice
     Hoggrim 🐗 (hoggrim@tiggi.es)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Feb-2023 22:47:41 JST Hoggrim 🐗

     in reply to

     @Mrfunkedude Brave, trying to take on John Mastodon like this

   • Embed this notice
     Jofish5000 (jofish5000@sfba.social)'s status on Wednesday, 08-Feb-2023 23:21:34 JST Jofish5000

     in reply to

     @Mrfunkedude I’m not much of a people person, can I just touch my own butt?

     Mr. Funk E. Dude repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     The Lichtenbergian (lichtenbergian@mastodon.sdf.org)'s status on Thursday, 09-Feb-2023 00:25:18 JST The Lichtenbergian

     in reply to

     @Mrfunkedude Meanwhile, here in Georgia...

     Mr. Funk E. Dude repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     Johnson ?️‍?? (darkfoxprime@sfba.social)'s status on Thursday, 09-Feb-2023 00:25:32 JST Johnson ?️‍??

     in reply to

     • Jofish5000

     @Jofish5000 @Mrfunkedude Only if it's consensual.

   • Embed this notice
     Rob Talks About Beer🍺 (robfrominternet@mastodon.beer)'s status on Thursday, 09-Feb-2023 00:25:58 JST Rob Talks About Beer🍺

     in reply to

     • The Lichtenbergian

     @Lichtenbergian @Mrfunkedude touch it!

   • Embed this notice
     Jette10 (jeanettepizzurro@mstdn.party)'s status on Thursday, 09-Feb-2023 01:10:39 JST Jette10

     in reply to

     @Mrfunkedude
     Who are the candidates? I’ll probably cast my vote for Mr. Funk E. Dude and I’ll touch the same butt I’ve been touching for 30yrs, thank you.

   • Embed this notice
     Mr. Funk E. Dude (mrfunkedude@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 09-Feb-2023 01:15:56 JST Mr. Funk E. Dude

     in reply to

     • Jette10

     @jeanettepizzurro to get the full list of candidates you'll have to go to Mastodon HQ and go down to the "electoral candidates office" in the sub section of "Waste Management" and look for locker 38764B. There under the section titled "Miscellaneous" you will find request form 764-FU. Simply fill out the form but change all instances of "Garbage disposal" and write in "Mayoral candidate". Take that form and turn it into the clerk. You'll get the list in 5 weeks.

   • Embed this notice
     Jette10 (jeanettepizzurro@mstdn.party)'s status on Thursday, 09-Feb-2023 01:20:52 JST Jette10

     in reply to

     @Mrfunkedude
     Shit, I love simplicity. I got this!