Imagine if you put in tonnes of work, successfully invented time travel, hopped back into the distant past, then found out you were allergic to dinosaurs.
Had an emergency this weekend (all is fine) that required me to cycle back and forth between loads of places and let me tell you, there is no music better suited to helping you stay positive while you tear through London than punk covers of Disney songs.
@Mactonex I just cannot stand for this, it is appalling behaviour from someone I had previously respected. It's basically slander is what it is. I'm going to have to find a new lawyer, so that my old lawyer @neil can expect a strongly-worded letter from them.
This is hot because it's a #threesome, but I hope you'll agree it's made hotter by the fact that even after 20-odd years, the woman who joined me in threesoming that dude popped into the comments to say hi.
I make porn, and sometimes - to my unending delight - it brings my exes out the woodwork to reveal they sometimes read the blog, and high-five me. Yay.
I'm going to share with you a thread of porn that I either made or helped to make. Making this porn is one of the best things I've ever done. I do not care if anyone (including credit card processors/platforms that seek to censor porn) shame me for that.
This piece stands out in my memory because when I produced and edited it, I was trying so hard to lean into femdom - as an amateur/interested person who didn't really know what she was doing but wanted to tap into why it was so erotic for so many.
Ferns (absolute goddess, imo) talks about the 'cunnilingus trials' in her deliciously sultry Aussie accent, and I melt
This piece is deeply meaningful to me, because it articulates a kink that I have spent my entire life being lowkey ashamed of, and the moment when someone I deeply and powerfully loved leaned into it.
When I say I 'helped to make' this porn, by the way, often what I mean for a lot of it is I literally just handed these people a spot on my platform and shoved them some money. The work is all theirs. I try very hard to share the platform and money I have (or what's left of it) because there are writers who thoroughly deserve your attention.
Robyn is very much one of them. This took my breath away
If you’d pulled me aside at any point before the age of 37 and said ‘one day you’ll do a sports thing and have a number pinned on you like one of those people who do exercise on purpose, for fun’, I’d have laughed you out of the room. And now I’m genuinely ridiculously excited about the chance to go ride my bike on EMPTY ROADS for SIXTY WHOLE MILES! Joy❤️
Also dunno if I've ever mentioned this EVERY TIME I am ill, but being ill is fucking BORING. My brain is too slow to do any proper work, my body will barely let me slump from bed to sofa, and all the fun things I had in my diary are cancelled. Plus, I don't get sick pay, so all the general worry and stress that I won't make my direct debits this month is the only thing I have for company.
If you're ill and you get sick pay, please stay home. Don't spread it around.
I've been ridiculously ill for the last two days, and I am still sweating about half my body weight every six hours. By the time I have thrown this disease I will be a dessicated husk.
I achieved a HUGE bucket list item today, people. I sang a sea shanty, aboard an actual ship, and everyone joined in and there were harmonies. MY HEART IS SO FULL.
-This is so cool and helpful! -I’m learning so quickly! -I can share my progress with friends! 🥰 -I’m so obsessed with my streak haha! -I want to punt this stupid owl into the centre of the sun
Once again I am here to improve your lives with wisdom: if you have a jar you’re struggling to open, or something like this ancient bottle of nail varnish, try scrim tape (also known as plasterboard/dry wall tape). You’re right, I AM a genius.
SexBlogger, #pervert, fuckup. Boost my toots. Mmm yeah. Like that. That's good that feels so good. Https://www.girlonthenet.com https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet