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Notices by Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)

  1. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Sunday, 02-Mar-2025 13:37:03 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    • Rheristies
    I first met @rher in the fall of '19, by chance in a rural Burger King. It was there where he told me many a thing, namely, truths. He told of great men from the east, men who kill and eat nigga just for a chuckle. Men whose steps are many, but few. I pondered, hours felt like minutes. He sat there, nearly lifeless, as if waiting for me to reply. I asked of these men, of their ways. He continued, describing great feets, unheard of in our world. Lifting tonnes of steel hundreds of feet in the air, creating thousands of books in a matter of minutes, and building a countless tables from naught but scraps. Before I could say a word, he looked me dead in the eye, and posited something that would change my life forever. "You have heard it said that the Man of the East is a sexless being. Amen, I say to you, he is a Man without sex, yet one of endless proliferation." I fell on my knees, begging him to explain these words. He told me to stand up, and called me gay. He punched me in the chest, resulting in the Burger King cashier half cocking his dominant eyebrow, and causing me to fall to my knees. He said, slight grin bismirching his face, "I'm not explaining shit, nigga." He handed me an unmarked cardboard box, as he exited the Burger King, I blurted out "Where in Heaven's name are you going?! What is this box?!" he simply replied "I have matters to attend to. In the box, lies your future." I replied "I don't even know your name." "The name's Bartholemew Crinklrher, but my colleages call me Rher. What's yours?" "My name i-" Rher cuts me off, "I don't care libtard" he says as the door shuts behind him. I am left alone in the Burger King, as the employee had left for his daughter's wedding. I peek inside the box, and before my eyes was a single jar of marmalade, and a framed oil painting of Paddington Bear in an SS uniform. As I looked around, baffled, I heard Rher's voice echo in my mind: "This episode was sponsored by LootCrate. For more epic gamer goodness, check the back of the store." My mind was racing. One thing was clear, if I wanted to keep my gamer status, I must go to there. I got up, and crept towards the back of the store. I passed the till, then onto the fryer, and beyond the chicken zone, until finally arriving: the freezer. I opened the door, and what I saw, what I saw was fiction, how could such a thing exist? A disc simply labeled "Spectrobes switch prototype (balding TEST BUILD) heil hitler" layed atop a pile of loose ground beef, extra lean. I fell to my knees yet again, but this time, under more pleasant circumstances. I spoke aloud, as if talking to a dear friend, "Bartholemew...thank you. It's everything I ever wanted, and more." He spoke again, from somewhere Beyond the Portals. "Consider the spinning of the CD. The Switch Disk Drive is but a herniating moonbeam of the Man of the East. You have become one with it. I have put one in place of your left kidney." I was born with only one kidney. I collapsed. When I awoke to the sun hurting my eyes, all I could think was "Drats! That lowly Burger King employee must had found me in the freezer, and assumed I was trying to commandeer it!", but I looked at my arms- nandato?! Nani ga okotta? Alas, I had become Rallen! Hero of Spectrobes! Oh, joyous day! But something was wrong. Very wrong. I averted my gaze from the sun, and looked upon the horizon. I must be dreaming... it was unmistkably Algeria. As I come to grips with my situation, I see some sillouettes in the distance... could it be Bedouin (tln: members of nomadic Arab tribes)? I could only remember their old addage- "I am against my brother, my brother and I are against my cousin, my cousin and I are against the stranger", and feel fear for my life. But I realised something. I am RALLEN! Hero of SPECTROBES! They're sure to know who I am. They wave, and I wave back. I start walking towards them, but as I get closer, I realise it was none other than...Bartholomew "The Cadester" Crinklrher. "Nyeh heh!" he said. Then he spat venom and flew off into the sunset.
    In conversation about a day ago from poa.st permalink

    Attachments


    1. https://i.poastcdn.org/bc/15/c2/bc15c23b7bfb481e7ba09ac89d1f644fe0f3c0553de43a2c226820624944783c.jpg
  2. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Saturday, 01-Mar-2025 12:48:50 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    in reply to
    • Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    >Tell Gen Alpha kid his favorite game is an affront to humanity
    >He doesn't know what "affront" means
    In conversation about 2 days ago from poa.st permalink
  3. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Saturday, 01-Mar-2025 09:05:30 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    I was actually once admitted to a mental hospital, but was ultimately deemed too far gone. The source of my madness was a drawing I saw online of an evil version of the Hamburger Helper.
    In conversation about 3 days ago from poa.st permalink
  4. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Saturday, 01-Mar-2025 00:47:06 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    in reply to
    • yockeypuck
    • M. Night Charlemayne
    @DEERBLOOD @yockeypuck Bro's cooking himself
    In conversation about 3 days ago from poa.st permalink
  5. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 28-Feb-2025 10:16:27 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    No show will ever be as Based and Redpilled as Phineas & Ferb (🧵 1/157)
    In conversation about 3 days ago from poa.st permalink
  6. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 28-Feb-2025 01:42:00 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    >Tell a Millennial his favorite game aged poorly
    >He flies into a frothing rage
    >Tell a Zoomer his favorite game sucks
    >He just says "real"
    In conversation about 4 days ago from poa.st permalink
  7. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Thursday, 27-Feb-2025 06:59:41 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    An old Japanese proverb says that a person has three faces. The first is the face you show the world. The second is the one you show only to close friends and family. The third is your ebooks bot, the truest reflection of the self.
    In conversation about 5 days ago from poa.st permalink
  8. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Tuesday, 25-Feb-2025 22:48:33 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    When we win, we're making the Jews pay for WinRAR
    In conversation about 6 days ago from poa.st permalink
  9. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Saturday, 22-Feb-2025 08:06:50 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    Pean
    In conversation about 10 days ago from poa.st permalink
  10. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 21-Feb-2025 23:02:21 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    When we win, posting your own Ls online will result in instant death
    In conversation about 10 days ago from poa.st permalink
  11. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 14-Feb-2025 12:17:16 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    If you hate Israel, then dying at all puts an end to your hatred for Israel. This means that, as an anti-Semite, any death counts as dying for Israel. You've been had.
    In conversation about 17 days ago from poa.st permalink
  12. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 14-Feb-2025 01:24:32 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    in reply to
    • King_Noticer
    @King_Noticer IGNORE THE HATERS AND THE RETARDS AND THE NONBLINS

    FINISH YUOR BACK ROUND
    In conversation about 18 days ago from poa.st permalink
  13. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Sunday, 09-Feb-2025 10:54:07 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    Fedi has been great for me tbh. It used to be my whole bit was being an autistic weirdo, but so many of you are so much better than me at it that I had to get my act together just to self-differentiate.
    In conversation about 22 days ago from poa.st permalink
  14. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 07-Feb-2025 09:06:32 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    in reply to
    • ?uper?nekFriend ?
    • 獣耳会社ｗａｎ
    @SuperSnekFriend @wan 37 years ago I asked my high school sweetheart to the prom and this song was vaguely audible from another room. Today she's my ex-wife. Oh well! Van Halen still rocks! Much love from 37.2770731, -87.0912915!
    In conversation about a month ago from poa.st permalink
  15. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Thursday, 06-Feb-2025 05:51:39 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    USAID has been paying women to ghost me btw. This really will be my year.
    In conversation about a month ago from poa.st permalink
  16. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Wednesday, 05-Feb-2025 04:29:17 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    Just remember: every positive react to a post saying something like "Trump isn't a WN but some stuff he's doing is pretty good" is someone who is going to volunteer to die fighting for Israel
    In conversation about a month ago from poa.st permalink
  17. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Tuesday, 04-Feb-2025 19:07:05 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    Anti-Fujoshi is anti-White
    In conversation about a month ago from poa.st permalink
  18. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 06:10:08 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    If Hitler 2 appeared but he disagreed with my opinions on the English Civil War, I'd join ZOG against him.
    In conversation about a month ago from poa.st permalink
  19. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 05:32:51 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    18 fully clothed cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch
    In conversation about a month ago from poa.st permalink
  20. Embed this notice
    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) (nierenstein@poa.st)'s status on Friday, 31-Jan-2025 05:32:50 JST Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described) Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)
    in reply to
    • Woodshop ?
    @WoodshopHandman I am graf's strongest poast thief
    In conversation about a month ago from poa.st permalink
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    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)

    Nierenstein: "Funny" (Self-Described)

    Heavy are the feet that wear the clown shoes. Weary is the nose which bears the horn.

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