I'm going to stake out what will sound like a radical position, and make my argument for why it isn't at all radical, but common-sense response to a simple problem.
When someone decides to transition, the way it should go is, "I am doing this with my body, and if you don't like it, mind your business."
That's it. Then start hormones, if you want them. Change your name and your gender marker, if you want. Get surgeries if you want. Or not, to all of that.
Because gatekeeping is fundamentally immoral. On what basis does *anyone* claim the right to tell me what I can do or not do with MY body in MY one life?
Why? Because gender-affirming care is already fully legal in the US, everywhere.
For cis people.
You're a cis woman and want breast augmentation? Get in there and get cut, baby.
Erectile dysfunction? We have a range of drugs to help.
Vaginal dryness? Here's progesterone.
Low T? We got you, bud.
Losing your hair? Here's your finasteride.
We don't blink an eye at these obvious instances of gender-affirming care, because they're for cis people.
But try to get affirmed in a gender you weren't coerced into? Whoa! You'll need to see some GATEKEEPERS about that, you're not old enough to make that decision for yourself!
(note that reproductive care, on the other hand, is NOT available everywhere in the US)
It is nothing but transphobia, and if you back that system, you're doing a transphobic thing.
That means if a trans girl needs you to lie and say they always played with girly things because they're facing a gatekeeper, you lie your face off for them.
If a trans guy needs top surgery to feel right, but has to prove his gender, you can tell whatever comforting lies the gatekeeper needs to hear to soothe their wobbly guts.
It is not immoral to refuse to participate in an immoral system. It is, in fact, a moral imperative to fight against it.
Wanna be an ally? This is one way to help.