Notices by geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party), page 5

In a worst case scenario the lid won't close, the handle breaks when you pick it up, it smells gross, and there's a severed hand inside.

Sorry Otis, I just got your message. Are you still at the dock of the bay?

What'd you get cursed by, hubris? I bet it was hubris. Probably your own tbh

I can't believe people complain about the lack of affordable housing when the lead mine just outside of town is literally abandoned

Rewatching Home Alone now is just me being impressed by Kevin's ability to do this many household projects in one day, I'm exhausted just thinking about it

You can decrease the negativity in your life 100% by replacing all the people you know with this quokka

When astronomer Vera Rubin complained that her male colleagues were sexist, outside observers were skeptical because they hadn't seen the sexism.
She was able to demonstrate that her workplace was misogynist by calculating the effect of "dark sexism" on other nearby workplaces

Not to be a hater, but don't trick or treat at Immanuel Kant's house, he will ask who you are and won't be satisfied with an explanation of your costume

I wouldn't overthink it. I mean *I* would, but it's not recommended

Any hacker who gets caught probably forgot to say "I'm in" once they got past the password

My son handed me a piece of candy so I thanked him and said it was really thoughtful of him but he interrupted me and said "you're just supposed to eat it, stop talking to me"

Medusa was asked not to return to Sea World

I wish I could replace my body with a robot body so I could skip sleep, meals, and all that

*gets robot body *

I wish I had a flesh body so I could skip oil changes, recharging, and firmware updates

The least believable part of Final Fantasy VII is that a single corporation would control the entire government but still install handrails

You only *think* you're prepared for a musical episode of Star Trek, nothing can prepare you for Lt. Björktegas.

For someone who hates trans people, Musk seems really dedicated to getting that non-binary gender marker and name change

Why buy the cow when you won't even get full access to all the cow's features without buying the separate Cow Amiibo?

I was a child, I had childish things. But when I grew up, I was able to afford a lot more childish things. I have way more childish things. I cannot stress how much these rule.

Businesses after selling rainbow products for a month:

"that's what years of remote work does to you"