Notices by geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party), page 3

I exclusively write erotica about health inspectors who fall in love with filthy restaurantiers, and shut them down…shut them down so hard

"Bottom of the barrel"?
His name is Diogenes, show some respect

Baby if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put D V O R A and K together because that's clearly a superior layout

For fucks sake, the only reasons the U.S. hasn't sold Ohio is cause none of the other nations want it. We're stuck with them forever.

We saw you from across the bar and we really dig your Roger Roger

A fledgling raven lands before you and clumsily attempts to foreshadow your doom. The bird's parents caw in encouragement from a nearby perch.

Me: oh good, I found our bike tool!

My wife: you really shouldn't call yourself that

Why would you need generative AI when I'm already making bad content for free?

Don't name your dog something like "nougat" If they aren't a delicious treat for me

"no, you don't get it, I mean if Tom Bombadil lived in *our* world, he'd be an epic shitposter"

JRR TOLKIEN'S GHOST: please stop summoning me

That dolphin isn't smiling, that's just how their bone structure makes them look. Yes, it's happy about killing you, but it's not showing that through its mouth the way we would

Me: They just won't make a decision. That's so bisexual of them

My wife: I thought that was a pisces thing

Me: All pisces are bisexual?

My wife: They haven't decided yet

One time I tried to explain a joke to a boss of mine and like halfway through she stopped me and said "Steven, I do not follow Internet Sensations" I think about that every day

People act like millennials are teenagers, but the youngest millennials are in their late 70s by this point

You'd *think* the Star Trek episode where an anvil falls on someone would be a light-hearted comedy episode, but none of these jokes about radiation poisoning are landing with me tbh

The most relatable part of the Star Wars sequel trilogy is the characters’ problems stem from terrible decisions made by their grandparents' generation.

I hate when people respond to my anger with some folksy bullshit like "Golly! Well, butter my biscuits!" No, I'm mad at you, I ain't buttering shit, stop asking

Ugh. Easter. Another fake holiday pushed on us by the resurrected dead guy industrial complex.

@ami_angelwings I see where you're coming from, but I also tend to think of people who identify as "allies" as being queer in some way but you need to give them some space to sort it out. Anyway, that's Peter Parker for ya

What your favorite color says about your future
BLUE - Death comes for us all
RED - Death comes for us all
YELLOW - Death comes for us all
GREEN - Death comes for us all
BLACK - Death comes for us all
ORANGE - Death comes for us all
PURPLE - Death comes for us all
WHITE - Death comes for us all