Notices by geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party), page 3

Me: This show is full of plot holes

My wife: Like what?

Me: Well if *I* were in that situation I wouldn't have been so mean

If you're born in Delaware instead of a birth certificate, you just get an apology letter

@GreenSkyOverMe the character is talking about where he grew up, a town called Gongaga pronounced with hard Gs

Feeding crows is better than feeding pigeons, because crows can remember and describe human faces, so the species may decide to spare you when the revolution comes

I thought Jurassic World was silly when dinosaurs were sold as weapons. But after watching rich people throw money at AI and monkey jpgs, it feels significantly more plausible.

I exclusively write erotica about health inspectors who fall in love with filthy restaurantiers, and shut them down…shut them down so hard

"Bottom of the barrel"?
His name is Diogenes, show some respect

Baby if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put D V O R A and K together because that's clearly a superior layout

For fucks sake, the only reasons the U.S. hasn't sold Ohio is cause none of the other nations want it. We're stuck with them forever.

We saw you from across the bar and we really dig your Roger Roger

A fledgling raven lands before you and clumsily attempts to foreshadow your doom. The bird's parents caw in encouragement from a nearby perch.

Me: oh good, I found our bike tool!

My wife: you really shouldn't call yourself that

Why would you need generative AI when I'm already making bad content for free?

Don't name your dog something like "nougat" If they aren't a delicious treat for me

"no, you don't get it, I mean if Tom Bombadil lived in *our* world, he'd be an epic shitposter"

JRR TOLKIEN'S GHOST: please stop summoning me

That dolphin isn't smiling, that's just how their bone structure makes them look. Yes, it's happy about killing you, but it's not showing that through its mouth the way we would

Me: They just won't make a decision. That's so bisexual of them

My wife: I thought that was a pisces thing

Me: All pisces are bisexual?

My wife: They haven't decided yet

One time I tried to explain a joke to a boss of mine and like halfway through she stopped me and said "Steven, I do not follow Internet Sensations" I think about that every day

People act like millennials are teenagers, but the youngest millennials are in their late 70s by this point

You'd *think* the Star Trek episode where an anvil falls on someone would be a light-hearted comedy episode, but none of these jokes about radiation poisoning are landing with me tbh