I never told my kids stories about Santa or God to control their behavior, but I did make up a fictional IT worker named Eddie who works for the phone company and is the one who turns off my son's phone if he doesn't get ready for bed on time. It definitely wasn't me, it was Eddie. Dang, I'm mad about it too, let's get our pajamas on so Eddie will turn your phone back on
Notices by geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party), page 2
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Wednesday, 17-Jul-2024 21:21:31 JST geekysteven -
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Monday, 15-Jul-2024 22:01:59 JST geekysteven ASMR video labeled "making the bed" but the audio is only cows, being sad. The next time you make the bed you can feel their cow sadness.
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Monday, 15-Jul-2024 03:02:39 JST geekysteven Oh dang, better clear my schedule to express performative sympathy for the worst person I've ever seen
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Friday, 12-Jul-2024 14:48:41 JST geekysteven What D.A.R.E. taught me was not that drugs are bad, but that people in authority are invested in lying to you, which is a much more valuable lesson.
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Monday, 08-Jul-2024 09:55:34 JST geekysteven I've clarified countless times that poison is when the toxin is ingested, and that venom is when it is injected, but I'm still banned from Applebee's cause of the incident
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Friday, 05-Jul-2024 07:28:30 JST geekysteven Me: This show is full of plot holes
My wife: Like what?
Me: Well if *I* were in that situation I wouldn't have been so mean
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Sunday, 16-Jun-2024 22:12:07 JST geekysteven If you're born in Delaware instead of a birth certificate, you just get an apology letter
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Sunday, 09-Jun-2024 01:47:51 JST geekysteven @GreenSkyOverMe the character is talking about where he grew up, a town called Gongaga pronounced with hard Gs
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Tuesday, 04-Jun-2024 00:21:16 JST geekysteven Feeding crows is better than feeding pigeons, because crows can remember and describe human faces, so the species may decide to spare you when the revolution comes
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Sunday, 02-Jun-2024 00:12:19 JST geekysteven I thought Jurassic World was silly when dinosaurs were sold as weapons. But after watching rich people throw money at AI and monkey jpgs, it feels significantly more plausible.
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Saturday, 01-Jun-2024 10:44:10 JST geekysteven I exclusively write erotica about health inspectors who fall in love with filthy restaurantiers, and shut them down…shut them down so hard
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Wednesday, 29-May-2024 23:20:31 JST geekysteven "Bottom of the barrel"?
His name is Diogenes, show some respect -
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Tuesday, 28-May-2024 22:27:59 JST geekysteven Baby if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put D V O R A and K together because that's clearly a superior layout
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Tuesday, 21-May-2024 22:19:59 JST geekysteven For fucks sake, the only reasons the U.S. hasn't sold Ohio is cause none of the other nations want it. We're stuck with them forever.
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Sunday, 19-May-2024 11:11:17 JST geekysteven We saw you from across the bar and we really dig your Roger Roger
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Saturday, 18-May-2024 23:19:21 JST geekysteven A fledgling raven lands before you and clumsily attempts to foreshadow your doom. The bird's parents caw in encouragement from a nearby perch.
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Sunday, 12-May-2024 22:01:58 JST geekysteven Me: oh good, I found our bike tool!
My wife: you really shouldn't call yourself that
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Wednesday, 01-May-2024 23:43:59 JST geekysteven Why would you need generative AI when I'm already making bad content for free?
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Monday, 29-Apr-2024 22:01:27 JST geekysteven Don't name your dog something like "nougat" If they aren't a delicious treat for me
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geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)'s status on Sunday, 21-Apr-2024 22:32:18 JST geekysteven "no, you don't get it, I mean if Tom Bombadil lived in *our* world, he'd be an epic shitposter"
JRR TOLKIEN'S GHOST: please stop summoning me