Notices by geekysteven (geekysteven@beige.party)

I was able to reduce my social media use by changing the app icons to portraits of their respective CEO’s faces. Seeing multiple copies of Mark Zuckerberg is enough to make me close the phone.

I just signed up to have solar panels installed on my house. Not for cost savings or to help the environment. I just want to make sure no conservative will ever buy the house in the future.

@freyjfreyj I made sure I got extra woke ones though

I swear if I see one more person say that aliens are demons, I'm gonna arrange for some demons to make an intricate pattern in their crops.

At this point it's reasonable to ask if being a noxious little transphobe is what causes someone to come in fifth place.

The Pride set I want has minifigs throwing LEGO bricks at cops.

Book! Book! Book!
https://www.lulu.com/shop/steven-olsen-and-jess-whitson/unbelievable-history/paperback/product-yvgdd2p.html?page=1&pageSize=4

The numbers don't lie 97, 12. 438. Can't refute that.

When I forget to pretend to be a normie at work

If you're a Starfleet doctor it's probably annoying to try stop an alien from bleeding and it turns out that was just one of their reproductive fluids

Unlike the rest of you, I actually have a plan for the unstable period following the collapse of the United States

Whoomp, there it is
Whoomp, where did it go?
Whoomp, how does it move like that, it can't be manmade
Whoomp, get the camera

STAR TREK: In the future humanity will be enlightened

ALSO STAR TREK: Everyone worth paying attention to is in the space military

The dudes mad about The Odyssey sound like a kid upset that someone else is enjoying a toy. You haven't played with Greek mythology since you were little, let Nolan have a turn.

Why do people think the economy is bad if the stock market and employment numbers are good?

We've spent the last 20 years loaning each other the same twenty bucks in a loop, and now that's up to 50.

My wife: I have face blindness??

Me: Yeah, that's your picture in the dictionary next to the definition of "prosopagnosia"

My wife: That's me????

I don't know if artificial intelligence is gonna be good for humanity or not so I need to build a robot smart enough to figure that out for me.

Sorry I said you were the “mayor of Suck City." At worst you're an alderman for Mediocrityville.

Zazu says of Scar "There's one in every family. Two in mine." I want to see the two villainous, queer-coded hornbills.

America has been called “the Great Experiment.” As an American, I gotta ask if it's possible to switch to the control group.