Notices by Mike Sheward (secureowl@infosec.exchange)

if ByteDance divests they should do so into 8 smaller companies called BitDance

got my haircut today and the hairdresser commented that I was noticeably grayer in some spots and I was like yeah there’s this software called JIRA

“We are taking action to ban an entity that collects huge swaths of information about US citizens without their consent, has a demonstrated history of not protecting that information once collected, and as such represents a significant national security risk.”

“Good, it’s about time someone did something about these credit reporting agencies.”

@GossiTheDog in the vision jet? Just press the safe return button and let the plane figure it out. If it doesn’t return you safely you get a discount on your next jet.

Please do not, under any circumstances, give Experian or any other credit reporting bureau or whatever fancy title they use for themselves, access to your bank account so they can monitor your spend and “save you money”.

When notifying friends in San Francisco to get as high as they can be sure to clarify you mean elevation wise

the human body was never meant to withstand daily standup in the midst of multiple concurrent geopolitical crises

Crazy how a president of a country did a really bad thing for democracy and the democratic system in that country was able to withstand it because everyone entrusted to enforce that democratic system was like “wait this is like really bad for democracy”, rather than, you know, being all like “whelp, guess we have a dictator now, glad I said nice things about his steaks.”

Thinking of entering Rosie in the National Dog Show next year

#dogsofmastodon

“Have we been able to able to contact London?”

“Negative, Commander. All of our primary and backup channels remain down. We have also been unable to make contact with any other British submarines.”

“It’s been four days, now. I think it’s time. It’s safe to assume something catastrophic has occurred.”

The commander looked solemnly toward another senior member of the crew.

“Fetch the letter.” He said.

“Absolutely, sir.” The officer said, moving out of the submarine’s control room.

“You see,” the commander said, addressing the remaining crew. “Every Prime Minister prepares letters of last resort for British Submarines. It contains instructions on what we should do in the event that the government has fallen and we cannot make contact with them. No one has ever opened one of these letters, let alone had to follow the instructions.”

The senior officer returned with a sealed envelope, and handed it to the commander. The commander proceeded to open the envelope. He took out a folded piece of paper and paused.

“We are a family aboard this submarine, and we may be all we have left for one another. For that reason, I will read this aloud, so we all know the plan at the same time.”

He unfolded the paper.

“Here goes,” he said, taking a deep breath. “It reads, HP Laserjet P1102W Self Test and Device Configuration.”

The Commander stopped and looked up.

“I believe they may have put the wrong page in.”

Just watched a gentleman squeeze his Cybertruck into a compact space which leads me to believe we need to clarify the thing that is supposed to be compact is the vehicle, not the brain or penis

The best email you can get from any company is “you haven’t logged into our app for a while, so we are going to delete your info unless you do in the next X days.”

Now that is an indicator of a company that has their shit together.

It shows they are auditing activity.

It shows they don’t want to hoard data.

It shows they are making an effort.

Ironically, it makes me want to sign in and use their stuff more.

ugh

“Whoa, is that the Cheesecake Factory menu or something?”

“Nah it’s just a print out of all the TXT verification records in our DNS.”

Imagine if they had open-enrollment for cyber insurance and the only way you could enroll outside of that window was a qualifying life event. Those events would be stuff like:

1) executive saw a presentation on AI
2) mergers and acquisitions where you were so quick to want to join the networks you didn’t check what you were connecting too
3) company decided to move back to on premises Exchange for some reason
4) executive saw a presentation on blockchain
5) Elon Musk purchases a majority stake in your company

“A key question for the NTSB and Boeing over the coming days will be whether this whole thing could’ve been avoided with the Flex Seal family of products.”

I wrote an LLM usage policy at work today and this is 100% in there

“So it says here you’ve held executive positions at Theranos, FTX and most recently, WeWork.”

“That’s right, I’ve dedicated my career to non-profits.”

Another benefit to being a remote employee is it forces you to be better at documenting things because you can’t just have a passing conversation with someone where a decision is made. Instead, there’s a perfect record of decisions made, concerns raised and who is accountable and oh wow this is another reason some companies hate it.

QEMU IS a generic and open source machine emulator and virtualization tool, it IS NOT a conspiracy theory involving an emu with the highest level of security clearance.