Notices by Anon Opin (anon_opin@mastodon.social)

Starmer has the worst political instincts of any party leader in history. His entire strategy is trying to appease a bunch of people who already decided years ago they hated him. Meanwhile he's pissing off everybody who tolerated him.

If you're buying a house, why not find one you actually like, rather than gutting a suburban 3 bedroom semi entirely and noisily rebuilding it all day, every day for years so it looks like a Japanese airport lounge? That way, your neighbours might not hate you before you move in.

Homegrown tomatoes taste great and are ideal for people who want to eat five hundred of them in a week in early September and none at all for the rest of the year.

Little known fact, but all phones have a little speaker at the top that you can hold to your ear. It means you can have a private conversation without the whole world listening to it

As the last man standing from the Carry On films, Jim Dale should get a knighthood and a state funeral.

I used to work in public relations. Most of us are old hacks more suited to writing up a local flower show. Nothing less self aware than a local PR sharing their strategic advice re world events on social. Dude you can spell, you're not Kofi Annan.

Being boring is underrated. Get lots of sleep. Save money. Exercise. Avoid drama. Don't drink. Don't do drugs. Yes, your high points are lower but your baseline happiness will surpass most people's.

We need a government initiative to encourage middle-aged men to have hobbies. If they've nothing else to do than run around town attaching flags at half-mast to lampposts then, really, they need to be taking up stamp collecting, maybe, or model railway building.

Just wiping your bum with toilet paper is a bit weird. If you get shit on any other part of your body, you wouldn't wipe it with paper and leave it at that, you'd wash it.

One of the saddest things on social is people commenting on AI slop or stolen content without any clue that it's either of those things. It's like seeing people fall for spam emails. It's depressing.

A litre of petrol should cost no less than £5. I know you'll think I'm a joyless prick for saying that but so be it. The world is literally on fire and we're sharting fossil fuels into the atmosphere like they're free and harmless.

Funny how so many people are convinced that posting a sarcastic comment about the rise of fascism is doing their bit to stop it.

On the train. Just watched a mum take the phone of her kid & put a book in her hands. Kid was stroppy at first but then just accepted defeat and began to read the book. Was going so well until she tried turning the page by swiping it like a social media feed. Humanity is fucked.

The best thing Noel Fielding has done in his career isn't Great British Bake Off, it's his song 'I Did a Shit on Your Mum'.

People should learn to drive in the most basic car possible, without driver aids such as parking sensors, reversing camera etc. in order to understand what to do when something goes wrong with the tech when actually driving

Releasing Alien Earth in summer makes it near unwatchable. Daytime TV glare makes watching a show where the main colours are dark grey, black, and black damn near impossible. By the time the sun has set, I am very tired. Yes, I know curtains exist.

Burgers are better than steaks.

There should be GCSE and A Level qualifications in critical thinking. It's what underpins everything else. It needs to be taught and people need to be good at it. Employers should demand good passes from new hires.

Bono should be pronounced Bone-o. If he wants to be called Bonno then he needs to spell it Bonno.

One of the weirder effects of gaming culture is that there are now fully grown 30, 40 or 50 something adults who struggle to realise the other people around them in public places are full humans with their own thoughts and senses.