Notices by Anon Opin (anon_opin@mastodon.social)

I still can't fathom why after four decades of Microsoft Windows, the problem conspiracy theorists have with Bill Gates is his philanthropy.

I love watching MasterChef, the Professionals, but when a contestant, who is a proper chef, shouts "Yes chef!" To Gregg Wallace, it makes me cringe. He's not a chef. Shouting "Yes, minor celebrity greengrocer" would be far more appropriate.

What a piece of luck for Boris Johnson, to be succeeded by Liz Truss. Otherwise he'd have been an absolute stick-on to go down in history as the worst Prime Minister ever. Mind boggling really that we managed to find someone even shitter.

Buses should be free to use, or at least unreasonably cheap, and be paid for by people who insist on driving cars.

Income tax should reflect the 'public good' of each job. A banker or claims solicitor might be taxed at 70% (3/10 value), while a teacher or nurse could pay 20% (8/10 value), and a builder 40% (6/10 value). This could realign taxes with societal values.

Every single character in Peppa Pig voted for Brexit.

Men stopped mandating office formal wear when they started having to iron their own shirts.

The releasing of helium filled balloons is just temporarily, anti-gravity littering. That plastic falls eventually. It should be treated the same as all littering, stigmatised, frowned upon and fined

Scott Pilgrim vs the World is the best looking film ever made

If you get angry at how much train drivers earn, rather than getting angry at how little you earn, you're part of the problem.

Stella Gibbons was a far better writer than Thomas Hardy. But Cold Comfort Farm couldn't have been written if Hardy hadn't had so much success with his turgid rural novels

Dried cum should be called sement.

Learning to swim, cook and drive are the main fundamental life skills. If you can't do all three, without a very good reason, you've failed as an adult.

Electric cars don't need to make a stupid noise at slow speed. They should all be required to put a bell in the hubcap. At slow speed it would tinkle around warning pedestrians, at high speed centripetal force would stick it to the outer edge, rendering it silent.

The Bible is mad. Have you ever read it? Fuck me

Public toilets are a basic accessibility need and their wholesale closure to save a few quid should be treated as a national disgrace as big as if they'd gone round ripping out wheelchair ramps

I've never actually met an owner of one, but I'm 100% sure anyone who uses the one of those stand-on electric unicycles is sure to be an insufferable cunt

Colour television shifted the focus from storytelling to set dressing and costume. We'd get much better entertainment if TV and film makers just ditched the colour and went back to monochrome

Buckingham Palace should be turned into a hostel for the homeless, and the grounds should be rewilded. Make it useful for the first time ever. There simply isn't a good argument against this.

Rock/pop fans who pretend vinyl sounds best - why do you think new classical music barely exists on vinyl? Could it be that you're a nostalgist, rather than an audiophile?