Notices by Anon Opin (anon_opin@mastodon.social)

America has done so much to ruin the world but nothing worse than pronouncing the word laboratory as "labratory".

All printers are just utter fucking wank. No exceptions. Every single one of the bastard things are fucking bullshit. Fuck printers. Fuck the companies that make them. Fuck everything to do with the hateful cunting things.

TV presenters shouldn't be allowed to become radio presenters. If you look good enough to be on TV, then stick with that. Let us ugly people get into broadcasting with our voices.

The new Naked Gun trailer looks like it might be OK, but I'm concerned by the blood spatter when Liam Neeson is beating up the bank robber. Naked Gun is cartoonish. You don't need blood spatter, you need comical sound effects.

Maths class should have fun stuff like English has creative writing and science has experiments. Show some practical side to it and quit boring the kids.

Christmas and New Year are too close together. If we were a proper society, we'd have New Year's Day on 1st March. It's the end of winter. The start of spring. And every 4 years we can all have a MASSIVE 2-day long New Year's Eve bender.

God was the original deadbeat dad, and Joseph doesn't get nearly enough credit for stepping up and raising another man's son.

It's good to plant trees in cities but just as important to plant many varieties. Councils should have to report of the distribution of tree species in their tree stock and have to meet minimums for species diversity. Fruit trees should be a part of the planted tree stock.

If an antiperspirant can keep me free of sweat for three days, they should be able to make a moisturiser that does something similar for skin. I have to apply moisturiser to my hands at least three times a day or they're as rough as tree bark.

The leaning tower of Piza needs to hurry up and just fall over.

People like to think Asimov predicted the current technology known as "artificial intelligence". They are wrong. It was Douglas Adams when a computer spent untold resources just to return an answer which is both irrelevant and poses further questions.

If you see a snail struggling to cross the footpath, pick up the little fella and help him on his way. That could well be you one day, metaphorically speaking at the very least.

Heinz should make a nutritionally complete version of baked beans so students can survive on that alone without worries.

Fines should be replaced with torture that doesn't do any long term physical damage.
Parking tickets hurt the poor much more than the rich. Waterboarding or electric shocks hurt everybody equally.

Glitter should be illegal to produce, sell, or own.

Of all the sci-fi franchises, the most scientifically likely features a slow, resource-hungry, capitalism-driven expansion of humanity, leaving mundane mess in its wake, into a galaxy that features no aliens at all - Red Dwarf.

The Europeans have got it right. Mayonnaise is the best condiment to put on chips.

I have researched it and there is only one country in the world with 1. a warm climate, 2. a sane and stable government, and 3. no propensity for natural disasters. Uruguay. I intend to move there as soon as I can persuade my wife.

Open mic nights where all the slots are booked up in advance are, by definition, NOT open mic nights. Too many are being run like this and we need a new name for this sort of thing.

Wearing socks & sandals is the most comfortable your feet will ever be. You don't have to believe me, try it for yourself.