Notices by Anon Opin (anon_opin@mastodon.social)

The greatest tv comedy ever is Attention Scum.
Unfortunately there's only one series of 6 episodes which was broadcast on bbc2 back in 2001 in the graveyard slot of midnight on Sundays. Shown once, never repeated nor released on dvd. Consequently very few people have heard of it.

The profit margin on tickets for live performances should be capped at 15% and rigorously enforced by government. The maximum price for any gig should be £75 and the mode price should be £20.

Nobody gives off a desperate "Please let me be in your gang" vibe quite like Zuckerberg.

I have a horrible feeling that not only are Led By Donkeys not helping, but they might be making it worse by legitimising pointless armchair activism. 100,000s of people sharing a sarky post about Elon Musk gives him the oxygen of publicity and doesn't change a thing.

If you have gotten rich by walking over the shattered remains of the products, services, and organisations you've ruined, you're not a success. You're a fucking parasite.

To all the people posting old pics and saying everything looked better then are forgetting that cameras used to be expensive and so did film, so taking pictures was often well planned and saved for special occasions. Not like every fucker snapping every move they make these days.

So we can now write emails using AI and have incoming emails summarised by using AI. Just how fucking lazy do we want people to be?! It's almost like we want forthcoming generations to be illiterate.

Pubs should have a separate bar with separate staff for people who want cocktails so that proper drinkers don't have to wait fucking hours to get their pint.

A lot of men seem to harbour the outdated, sexist view that women are the worst drivers. This isn't true. I'm a man, I work in insurance. Not only are most insurance claims due to a male driver at fault, but women's accidents are so low their insurance is much cheaper than men's.

Bands should operate a loyalty scheme. If I paid £5 to see them in a shitty venue before they made it big I should be able to get a ticket at an inflation-linked price when they start playing huge soulless stadia. I helped them get there.

Why don't cars have spare wheels any more? It should be illegal to sell cars without a spare and an MOT fail automatically if a car doesn't have one. Fucking tight fisted car manufacturers need to be regulated better.

I always wonder how good piano music would be if humans had 16 fingers.

Films and TV programmes with long night/dark scenes, filmed in near black so you can only see shadows on the screen for several minutes on end, are unwatchable. I realise that it's 'authentic'; but you wouldn't make a film set in ancient Rome with all-Latin dialogue, would you?

AirBnB's should have a 300% council tax slapped on them. Landlords have realised they can charge more and not have the hassle of tenancy agreements, so it's just gutted the private rent sector and made housing more expensive for everyone.

French numbers are bonkers. Ninety nine for example translates as four twenties ten nine. I rest my case.

Footnotes and references in the back of non-fiction books should be relegated to a dedicated website somewhere; there's no need to print pages of guff that hardly anyone is going to look at

The idea of eternal growth is the metastasizing cancer eating away at the bowels of humanity. It's literally the thing that's gonna kill us all.

Restaurants should have powdered garlic between the salt and pepper in their cruets. It's delicious, good for us, and lovely sprinkled on everything from breakfast cereal to reheated pizza.

Remote controls are generally black, to look sleek with the TV, but what they should be, is a disgusting fluorescent yellowy-green, so you can find the damn things in the semi-dark, down the side of the sofa. Sort it out, boffins at Rumbelows.

Alt text is intended to improve accessibility by describing an image for those unable to see it. It's not somewhere for your pithy joke that only works with the added context of the image. In fact, this excludes those unable to see the image even more.