Notices by Anon Opin (anon_opin@mastodon.social), page 2

Pubs should have a separate bar with separate staff for people who want cocktails so that proper drinkers don't have to wait fucking hours to get their pint.

A lot of men seem to harbour the outdated, sexist view that women are the worst drivers. This isn't true. I'm a man, I work in insurance. Not only are most insurance claims due to a male driver at fault, but women's accidents are so low their insurance is much cheaper than men's.

Bands should operate a loyalty scheme. If I paid £5 to see them in a shitty venue before they made it big I should be able to get a ticket at an inflation-linked price when they start playing huge soulless stadia. I helped them get there.

Why don't cars have spare wheels any more? It should be illegal to sell cars without a spare and an MOT fail automatically if a car doesn't have one. Fucking tight fisted car manufacturers need to be regulated better.

I always wonder how good piano music would be if humans had 16 fingers.

Films and TV programmes with long night/dark scenes, filmed in near black so you can only see shadows on the screen for several minutes on end, are unwatchable. I realise that it's 'authentic'; but you wouldn't make a film set in ancient Rome with all-Latin dialogue, would you?

AirBnB's should have a 300% council tax slapped on them. Landlords have realised they can charge more and not have the hassle of tenancy agreements, so it's just gutted the private rent sector and made housing more expensive for everyone.

French numbers are bonkers. Ninety nine for example translates as four twenties ten nine. I rest my case.

Footnotes and references in the back of non-fiction books should be relegated to a dedicated website somewhere; there's no need to print pages of guff that hardly anyone is going to look at

The idea of eternal growth is the metastasizing cancer eating away at the bowels of humanity. It's literally the thing that's gonna kill us all.

Restaurants should have powdered garlic between the salt and pepper in their cruets. It's delicious, good for us, and lovely sprinkled on everything from breakfast cereal to reheated pizza.

Remote controls are generally black, to look sleek with the TV, but what they should be, is a disgusting fluorescent yellowy-green, so you can find the damn things in the semi-dark, down the side of the sofa. Sort it out, boffins at Rumbelows.

Alt text is intended to improve accessibility by describing an image for those unable to see it. It's not somewhere for your pithy joke that only works with the added context of the image. In fact, this excludes those unable to see the image even more.

Award winning' companies - If you had to pay £5k for a table at the presentation event, and several hundred pounds a year to use the logo in your marketing, then you don't win the award, you bought it.

Any item that claims not to be dishwasher safe goes in the dishwasher. I will not tolerate cowardice in my kitchen.

Most people aren't married to their soulmate they're married to the first person who'd take them.

Someone needs to start a rumour among flat Earthers that there is a rival civilisation on the others side of the disk that is burrowing towards us so they can invade.

The best time for Britain to invest in modernising its ancient, crumbling infrastructure and undertake climate change resistant strategies was in the 90s. The second-best time was just before the country voted to fuck itself with brexit. The third-best time is now.

Upon reaching 30, everyone should be afforded 8 hours of free counselling/therapy. Those who say they don't need it should be sent to the front of the queue.

It really fucks me off that a week consists of 7 days. No equal pattern of days goes into it. Shower every other day? Doesn't fit. Groom dogs every third day? Doesn't fucking fit. The week should be divisible by 2 and 5. And yes. I have been told I should be tested for ND.