@jacklaridian One of my all time favorites.

The batteries in Teslas are really just a bunch of potatoes hooked up in parallel.

#LesserKnownPotatoFacts
#HashTagGames

@jacklaridian True 😂

@jacklaridian This state has gone down a deep, dark rabbit hole. I desperately want to move, but my wife has family here. I despise Texas with every bone in my body.

There was a shooting last year at the state fair in Dallas, so this year they banned guns. Our wonderful (sarcasm) attorney general is suing the fair, which is a private entity, to allow guns. Texas doesn’t require permits for concealed weapons. Anyone can bring a weapon in. JFC 🤦♂️

I Like Jiggly Butts - Sir Mix-A-Lot

#WiggleJiggleOrGiggleASongOrPoem
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@jacklaridian Yeesh, close call.

@jacklaridian Glad you’re okay.

@jacklaridian @Kitty Nice, I was in a band for a hot minute. Keyboards. The one member of the band that never gets laid. 😂

@jacklaridian @Kitty Yiu had a band? Awesome! What was your instrument?

Boy George Meets World

#BandsAboutMovies
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@jacklaridian Stewart is always spot on. I’m so glad he’s back. Wish I had more time to consistently watch him, but he is a voice of reason and sanity.

What did cats do before laptops? Question answered.

#Caturday #CatsOfMastodon #Cats

Zeus kept coming down from heaven and getting women pregnant all the time. I just wanted to know what that felt like the one time. The following 2000 years was my bad - God

#FictionalCharacterConfessions
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Fight Club was supposed to be a way for me to meet women. Not sure how this ended up as an all guy revolution. - Tyler Durden

#FictionalCharacterConfessions
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Our voices are like this because we’re castrati. Dave is an evil, evil man. - Alvin and the Chipmunks.

#FictionalCharacterConfessions
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I actually graduated with degrees in engineering, animal husbandry, theology, bartending, and economics on top of my medical degree. - Dr. McCoy

#FictionalCharacterConfessions
#HashTagGames

Look Alex and fellow droogs, we’re just trying to make a milk commercial and you’ve made it…well…weird.

#FireAFictionalCharacter
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You literally had Mr. Bond tied to a table with a laser slowly moving up towards his junk. You could have just shot him. HR says that while killing him was fine, the method was borderline sexual harassment.

#FireAFictionalCharacter
#HashTagGames

If the town mayor says there is no way there’s a killer shark, there is absolutely a killer shark.

#SummerVacationWarningLabels
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