Notices by Alex Psmith (alexpsmith@beige.party)

"Sorry, I can't. I already have plans this weekend."

The plans

I wonder whether couch potatoes (as in people who *choose* to be couch potatoes, not disabled people, etc.) get just as annoyed with me when I bang on about how much I love being active outdoors in the sunshine as I do with them when they bang on about how much they love rainy weather because it makes them feel good about sitting on their arses on the sofa?

Wanna see a blue-tongued skink? Yes yes yes!

Iconic Aussie tableau

He hippity
He hoppity
He eat vegetables
From your property

"Please slip Schmackos through hole in fence"

I remember winning one of these in a school science fair in 1989 and thinking I was some hot shit ten-year-old for having such a cool piece of technology (auto reverse!!).

Then I went to the local library and borrowed 2 Live Crew's As Nasty as They Wanna Be.

Aww, look at this kitten I met on my evening walk! Think it will let me pet it?

I took annual leave today as it would have been mum's birthday, a day I always observe by doing stuff she loved. Which of course means I'm spending the day just as I would any other day off - by enjoying nature and keeping my eyes open for birds and other wildlife.

Here are a couple of tawny frogmouths, a rare sighting for me. Good morning from Wollongong, everybody.

Back from my Woolworths tampon run, and I forgot the dark chocolate. This is the worst catastrophe imaginable. Yes, I'm including global disasters and stuff.

My friend in NZ just lost his son to suicide. He was loving, supportive, and present at every step, and I'm certain he was appreciated. Sometimes that's all we can do.

That said, I've lost "friends" every single time I've been open about my struggles. Every single fucking time. Now I never ever discuss it anymore. Don't abandon your struggling friends when they're not "fun" for you. Life is hard enough without adding cruelty.

I've identified a new ritual in my cooking/food preparation process. Whenever I'm about to cut onions, I must say, "Mmmmmm ooooooniooooons!" This is non-negotiable, and the syllables must be drawn out.

If I ever find a partner again, she's going to have to feel pretty strongly about onions.

Just curious. Are American kids learning that the US lost the Vietnam War yet, or are they still being taught the US won?

@LRRRonEarth

Guys, it's a baby Mastodon charging playfully across the savanna of the skies. It's a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE 🎄🐘

Hackneyed beach sunrise from my favourite place

Good morning from Wollongong, everybody.

Just in case anyone needed to see this photo from the Hoar Cross downhill soapbox race in
Staffordshire

Your body, my well

You were going to ask me how much a rainbow chicken weighs, and I have the answer.
You're welcome.

Caught yesterday's blue supermoon rising on my way home from work, but forgot to share because I was too distracted by the guy on the train wearing the leopard-print Hammertime Pants with matching glossy leopard-print duffel bag.