Notices by Moritz Bartl (gamambel@social.tchncs.de), page 3

@tokyo_0 @jeffowski For a long time I was not really that interested in narrowing down on my own definition, but over time, I found it helpful to adopt this definition. I understand that there are many.

@tokyo_0 @jeffowski I think what is happening here is that we have a different definition in mind of what is "religion" and what is "spirituality". Which is also why I refered to that site, as one of many possible articles that try to make that distinction.

It's exactly that the moment spirituality becomes religion that it implies division. In that definition, religion simply cannot exist without it, because you are either part of it or you are not. You believe, or you do not.

@tokyo_0 @jeffowski In "religion", you are either "with us", or "against us", a "non-believer". Religion, as an organized form that you can either "join" or not, is by definition authoritatian, and must be.

It sounds like you are operating from a broader definition, which is where this disagreement may stem from, when in fact we probably agree on which elements are "dangerous" and which ones are not.

@tokyo_0 @jeffowski

"The moment man became religious, it should have been the end of all conflict. Unfortunately, religion has become the main source of conflict everywhere in the world. It has taken the maximum number of lives and caused the maximum amount of pain on the planet for thousands of years. This is because a religion is essentially coming from a set of belief systems. […]"

https://isha.sadhguru.org/en/wisdom/article/spirituality-vs-religion

"The book leads readers through a process of self-discovery, helping them identify the language of their worries and fears that link to unresolved trauma in their #childhood or family history. Through questions, case studies and a series of body-centered exercises, readers are guided to become detectives, mining their family history to unearth the source of their issues. Readers learn how to convert old, fearful images into ones that bring strength and healing."

https://markwolynn.com/it-didnt-start-with-you/

"We are a team of researchers from Humboldt-Universität conducting an anonymous online survey about people’s experiences with #breathwork.

You are warmly invited to take part if you have done at least 1 fast-paced breathwork session in the last 5 years (Circular breathing, Conscious Connected Breathwork, Rebirthing, or similar) and it was led by a facilitator.

Your responses will help us to better understand the therapeutic potential of breathwork."

https://dziobek-lab.org/breathwork-survey/

2. All-or-none / black-and-white Thinking

I reject extreme or over generalized descriptions, judgments or criticisms. One negative event does not mean I am stuck in a never-ending pattern of defeat. Statements that describe me in “always” or “never” are rarely true.

3. Self-hate / Self-disgust / toxic shame

I commit to loving myself. I am a good enough person. I refuse to trash myself. I transfer back the shame and disgust to the person who is judging me for my normal emotions of anger, fear and sadness. I especially refuse to attack myself for how hard it is to completely eliminate the self-hate habit.

4. Micromanaging / Worrying

I will not repetitively examine details over and over. I will not jump to negative conclusions. I will not endlessly second-guess myself. I forgive my past mistakes. I cannot make the future perfectly safe. I will stop hunting for what could go wrong. I will not try to control the uncontrollable. I will not micromanage others or myself. I work in a way that is “good enough”. I accept that sometimes, my efforts bring desired results, and sometimes they do not.

5. devaluing comparisons to others or most perfect moments

I refuse to compare myself unfavorably to others. Sometimes, reality is not as it seems. You only see what others want you to see. In a society that pressures us into acting happy all the time, I will not get down on myself for feeling bad.

6. Guilt

Feeling guilty does not mean I am guilty. I am no longer a victim. I will not accept unfair blame. Guilt is sometimes camouflaged fear: “I feel guilty and afraid, but I am not guilty or in danger”. If I end up hurting someone, I will apologize, make amends, and let go of my guilt. I will not apologize over and over. I will allow myself to be human.

7. Shoulding

I will not put unreasonable demands and pressure on myself. I will focus on what I really want to do and what is important to me.

8. over-productivity / busyholism / workaholism

I am a human being not a human doing. I will not choose to be perpetually productive. I will balance work with play and relaxation. I will not try to perform all the time.

9. Harsh judgments of self & others / name-calling

I will not let the bullies of my early life win by joining and agreeing with them. I refuse to attack myself or others. I will not displace the criticism and blame that rightfully belongs to my dysfunctional caretakers onto myself or current people in my life.

Typical attacks from the inner critic
(a list by Pete Walker)

1. Perfectionism

My perfectionism arose as an attempt to gain support in my neglectful family. I do not have to be perfect to be safe or loved in the present. I have a right to make mistakes. Mistakes do not make me a mistake. Every mistake is an opportunity to practice loving myself in the places I have never been loved.

http://pete-walker.com/pdf/14_common_inner_critic_attacks.pdf

@tokyo_0 http://pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm

"It is usually the most profoundly abandoned child - "the lost child" - who is forced to "choose" and habituate to the freeze response. Unable to successfully employ fight, flight or fawn responses, the freeze type's defenses develop around classical dissociation, which allows him to disconnect from experiencing his abandonment pain, and protects him from risky social interactions - any of which might trigger feelings of being reabandoned."

@tokyo_0

( My current recommendation would be "You were just a child... looking for love" by Vivian Broughton. Intense, brutal, but very true essays. )

https://www.vivianbroughton.com/my-books/

#37c3