Moritz Bartl
Typical attacks from the inner critic
(a list by Pete Walker)
1. Perfectionism
My perfectionism arose as an attempt to gain support in my neglectful family. I do not have to be perfect to be safe or loved in the present. I have a right to make mistakes. Mistakes do not make me a mistake. Every mistake is an opportunity to practice loving myself in the places I have never been loved.
http://pete-walker.com/pdf/14_common_inner_critic_attacks.pdf
Moritz Bartl
9. Harsh judgments of self & others / name-calling
I will not let the bullies of my early life win by joining and agreeing with them. I refuse to attack myself or others. I will not displace the criticism and blame that rightfully belongs to my dysfunctional caretakers onto myself or current people in my life.
Moritz Bartl
8. over-productivity / busyholism / workaholism
I am a human being not a human doing. I will not choose to be perpetually productive. I will balance work with play and relaxation. I will not try to perform all the time.
Moritz Bartl
7. Shoulding
I will not put unreasonable demands and pressure on myself. I will focus on what I really want to do and what is important to me.
Moritz Bartl
6. Guilt
Feeling guilty does not mean I am guilty. I am no longer a victim. I will not accept unfair blame. Guilt is sometimes camouflaged fear: “I feel guilty and afraid, but I am not guilty or in danger”. If I end up hurting someone, I will apologize, make amends, and let go of my guilt. I will not apologize over and over. I will allow myself to be human.
Moritz Bartl
5. devaluing comparisons to others or most perfect moments
I refuse to compare myself unfavorably to others. Sometimes, reality is not as it seems. You only see what others want you to see. In a society that pressures us into acting happy all the time, I will not get down on myself for feeling bad.
Moritz Bartl
4. Micromanaging / Worrying
I will not repetitively examine details over and over. I will not jump to negative conclusions. I will not endlessly second-guess myself. I forgive my past mistakes. I cannot make the future perfectly safe. I will stop hunting for what could go wrong. I will not try to control the uncontrollable. I will not micromanage others or myself. I work in a way that is “good enough”. I accept that sometimes, my efforts bring desired results, and sometimes they do not.
Moritz Bartl
3. Self-hate / Self-disgust / toxic shame
I commit to loving myself. I am a good enough person. I refuse to trash myself. I transfer back the shame and disgust to the person who is judging me for my normal emotions of anger, fear and sadness. I especially refuse to attack myself for how hard it is to completely eliminate the self-hate habit.
Moritz Bartl
2. All-or-none / black-and-white Thinking
I reject extreme or over generalized descriptions, judgments or criticisms. One negative event does not mean I am stuck in a never-ending pattern of defeat. Statements that describe me in “always” or “never” are rarely true.
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