Notices by Pastor of Muppets (middleclasstool@phire.place), page 3

@georgetakei I used to work in jewelry stores. I've seen more intense things than that engraved inside wedding rings.

@jacklaridian yeah, this is the same thing as like when they discover that Rage Against the Machine doesn't support them: did you listen to the lyrics? But this is not a group of people renowned for their textual comprehension skills, is all I can think. That feels like an insulting and reductive explanation but I can't come up with better.

When you've lost the support of a sexy, reformed Borg, it may be time to take inventory.

(I actually kind of get it. That had to feel isolating, and it's going to drive them deeper into the cult, most likely. But even this is the same kind of sympathy I have when I work with alcoholics who still believe the lies their disease tells them. It hurts, I get it, but when the problem is everybody else, the problem isn't everybody else. You're in a cult. You will feel judged for that, and I'm sorry, but the solution is leave the cult. The world will not change for you.)

Just recently discovered The Orville and have been watching my way through all of the old episodes. The surprise Ted Danson cameo just delighted the hell out of me.

@joshmillard A swashbuckle of Duncans Idaho

A woman friend of mine just texted me that Vice President Harris "has BDE" and oh my god, she totally has BDE

@jacklaridian Oh, I have total sympathy for that, yeah. I'd love to see the whole EC torn down, just for starters. But study after study shows that if young people voted as much their parents and grandparents do, this would be a radically different country. But that is the hardest sell in the world somehow, even when the survival of our democracy is on the line, and it's so frustrating.

Why is it that, if you want a fly to leave you alone, it's in your face constantly like HI, but the second you think "I'm going to kill that thing" suddenly it's got Batman's smoke grenades and zipline

@kaia Baptists are into analingus?

Today it occurred to me, as I was walking Pete through a park, that I probably visually scan as skinhead trash to a lot of strangers: here's a blue eyed person of German descent you don't know with a shaved head and translucent skin lingering with a pit bull within 50 yards of your brown children. I want to figure out some kind of "we're both harmless" visual signifier so that people aren't uncomfortable. There might be nothing I can do here. Clown shoes'd probably be worse, huh.

@jacklaridian I loved 'em when I was a kid. Couldn't get enough. Used to have bottle rocket wars with friends.

I hate them so much now.

@jacklaridian yeah, grease in the cardboard, and often cheese/toppings stuck on

People who insist on putting pizza boxes in the recycling: why

Hims must have paid Hulu a looooot of money for ad space. Because ads are enough of an entertainment killer just as a format, but literally every time Hulu takes a break from tales of high adventure or comedy, it's like "and now thirty seconds to reflect on how aging means that your hair will fall out and your penis will stop working, and oh hey you know how we all have anxiety and depression now"

Remake of my all-time favorite weird puzzle game #Riven is coming next week and it sure looks purty https://youtu.be/LN1TQm942_U

I've gotten tornado warnings, flood warnings, and Amber alerts. This is a first.

I'm also clearly seeing the developer who built that alert looking at their phone and thinking "fuck, TRAILING SPACE"

Aaaaaaaand fixed

Two things I just learned:

1. A new monolith has appeared in Nevada just recently.
2. There have been monoliths?

https://www.vox.com/culture/22062796/monoliths-utah-california-romania

@eaton I think you should click that, it looks urgent