Notices by Out with the Chad, in with the (chad@beige.party)

I’m not sure we’re better off now that we all know what the stars are made of

parent generation: Don’t talk to strangers!

child generation: I am going to create an internet that goes in my pocket so I can talk to every stranger in the world every second of the day and it will suck so much

@skinnylatte I like 2 the best. Feels most like I’m there seeing it with my eyes, but maybe that’s not the point of every photo

@skinnylatte have you had hurricane popcorn? https://onolicioushawaii.com/hurricane-popcorn/

@skinnylatte Have you read Sourdough by Robin Sloan? It features a sourdough starter that enjoys listening to music from its homeland and is set in SF

Studies show that children who grow up in homes with a Linux PC score better on standardized tests and also know that those tests are bullshit metrics anyway.

I should have taken a gap year to swim with abyssal giants in the deep sea

“Bye bye, skin. I’m eating you!”

- toddler talking about a cucumber thank god

Just heard myself say "Pears!! That's exciting" so maybe I need to do some drugs or something

turns out there’s only one pear anyway

@liztai this was incredibly clutch for me during our visit when my daughter was only willing to nap in her stroller

People who garden are happier because they understand that something can be precious and worthy just by living imperfectly for a small time.

an episode of Black Mirror where everyone learns the prompt that caused an AI to generate them

MICROWAVE: You gotta do the whole thing where you wrap it in a damp paper towel then hit it for like 5 minutes, but this burrito is way too big to ever cook evenly in here.

STOVETOP: If you want it to look grilled, do the microwave and then try not to burn it.

AIRFRYER (preferred method): It's gonna take like 25 minutes - just go as long as you can without burning the outside.

Finally, a use for GPT and AR glasses: translating frozen burrito instructions.

Go one step further, wear this around the grocery store and have it tell you "nah" whenever you start falling for how good something looks on the box.

Do I want to play Rollercoaster Tycoon or just be 10 years old again?

Could a depressed person hold a hard-boiled egg over the sink and pour soy sauce onto it and eat it in two bites so they get some protein instead of just eating cookies and cake all day?

If the 4pm coffee kept me up until midnight, why can’t the 8am coffee get me past 10am?

This is the head of Udon the Cat.

#Cats #CatsOfMastodon