Notices by UnclePJ (unclepj@zirk.us)

If you’re not using fast food napkins as Kleenex in your car, then you must be in a whole different tax bracket than me…

Are we like this because we drank from the hose?

Don’t forget to place your “I Voted” sticker under your pillow tonight so the Election Fairy will leave you a Valium.

Fun fact: A group of Elon Musks cyber trucks is called a Recall.

That said, whoever started calling a cyber truck a Deplorian, identify yourself. I’d like to buy you a drink!

@GottaLaff

I just got teared up… powerful message.

My daughter just gave birth with serious complications. She was full term, it ended well and I’m thankful.

That’s not the same story for many women out there, and it makes me so sad inside.

My vote is for Harris-Walz and my daughter.

@GottaLaff

Why’d the chicken cross the road?

To avoid a 60 Minutes interview.

If you want good customer service, maybe… maybe try being a good customer.

I remember when I was a kid it was free to use the air hose at the gas station. Now it’s $1.25.

That’s inflation for ya…

Me too, piano. Me too.

@adammoe2022

That’s very hurtful, Adam! 🤪

I think this is oddly appropriate for him right now. To afraid to debate!

I read somewhere that “I learn through suffering” can be translated into Latin as “Disco Inferno” and well… there it is. It’s yours now. Enjoy!

Two incomes are better than one so make certain your partner has two jobs.

If your partner doesn’t have two jobs, then get two partners.

Follow me for more financial advice.

@thanius
This made me happy for some reason. I can’t explain why, but it did! 😂

Happy Saturday everyone:

11:47 - Arrived at crime scene.
11:47 - Examined body.
11:47 - Found murder weapon under bed.
11:47 - Realized watch is broken.

Just because you’re going 10 mph over the speed limit doesn’t mean you belong in the fast lane. Move over, some of us intend to break the law for real…

I wanna be dark and mysterious, but also I cannot stfu…

There are two ways to be cool:

A) Use a sunglasses emoji
B)

This could be us right now, but you playin’.