I'm not quite sure if it is #homesickness or #nostalgia, perhaps bordering on both. I had the German "Heimweh" in mind which connotes spatial as well temporal dimsions (or arther: doesn't distinguish much between both.) Anyway, to me #hope is indeed a form of homesickness / nostalgia, perhaps at times not directed to the past but to the future, but even then the same kind of feeling, and very often rooted in the past. Perhaps that's why I can understand your, let's put it that way: skepticism or incomprehension of hope. Obviously it's not optimisim or confidence, often not even the belief that the world is still "open" (in whatever sense). Rather, and here I may depart from you (but I don't know), it's a form of trust. Yes, perhaps that way: The trust that the world may indeed be far bigger, more complex, more intricate, more dynamic than what I sense to be my own life. That both (pretty please!) be not the same. Which intellectually we may grasp – we most often don't, regardless how much we may fool ourselves into *believing* otherwise – but usually don't sense, feel, or experience. I guess it's an advantage or benefit of getting old and tired that we grow a sense of that distinction, something the younger ones don't know and still don't have (they didn't fail yet). What you say about soldieres and murderers as the first victims I second.