True story. My wife was in the hospital once and they wouldn't discharge her because a doctor wasn't available. They said one wouldn't be available for 12 hours. I called and had a conversation with staff and ended up going full lawyer (I can go complete asshole in about 10ms when required).

The hospital them sends a counselor in to talk to my wife about spousal abuse. She then tell the counselor to fuck off, warns him that he's breaching his duties by using his position to manipulate a legal dispute with the hospital, and demanded to be discharged. She was out within the hour.